Never be afraid …

Watching reruns of Top Gear on Dave and just came across these words of wisdom and thought I’d share …

“Don’t ever be afraid, amateurs build the ark, professionals built the titanic.”

Steven Tyler, Top Gear 2013

My favourite Aerosmith song …

Enjoying The Adventure!

I happened to be flicking channels last night and came across the ad below.

Beautifully simple and conveys a powerful message that we all get older but the secret to not feeling older is to think younger.

Think yourself younger.

I like that,, it’s an attitude for life and something that I seem to know without being told.

Today, yesterday now, I’m another year older and still none the wiser!!

Time seems to be flying by and staying still simultaneously.

My last birthday seems like yesterday and my last holiday seems like years ago!!

How does that work?

I had my 3 babies round for dinner last night and a lovely time together. Time spent with my kids means more to me than any amount of money.

Guess what pressies I got?

Absolutely nothing apart from a very special card with photos of us over the years and a message inside.

I’m not bothered about the lack of gifts, they didn’t know what to buy me as if I need something I usually buy it myself.

Hint – go to bathroom and look at aftershave most used and needing replaced.

But I was touched by the message in the card and feeling blessed by it today.

Divorce can be difficult for families, certainly was for my daughter Laura 23 and I and for a while she hated me, I even have the note she wrote aged 13 to prove it.

But I’ve been there through all her trials and tribulations and she now lives with me, that didn’t happen by accident.

Right now, it’s 3am, I’ve woke up on the sofa feeling wide awake. Tv still on, I should get back to sleep but hard to turn off when your mind is active.

This weekend, no big plans, time with family, friends and a maybe a walk somewhere.

Whatever you are doing, as the video says, enjoy the adventure.

Brotherly Love.

Do you ever read something that touches you and even although you’ve never met the person, you feel for them and their situation?

I came across the following post this morning on the blog which I read most days.

The post below had tears in my eyes even although I’m sitting in an office surrounded by hundreds of people.

For background, Gold Coast Tom lives in Oz, but was back in Glasgow last month for a few weeks to spend time with his brother Gerry who was seriously ill with cancer.

He posted at the time that he had enjoyed spending time with Gerry and was so sad heading home as he knew that it would be the last time that he saw Gerry alive.

Sadly, Gerry passed away the other day and Tom wrote this tribute before heading home for the funeral.

As the eldest of my brothers, sometime this will happen to us and I can empathise with him and his love of his brother.

Tonight, the 2 most successful teams in Glasgow, Celtic and Partick Thistle, play each other in The Scottish Premier League.

My football team, Celtic, will more than likely win the league for the third time in a row, a feat to be celebrated but hardly the same challenge since that other Glasgow team went out of business a few years ago.

· Gold Coast Tom

05:34 on 26 March, 2014

My Brother Gerry had it very tough in life, but he never grumbled, and was always there to lend support and advice to younger members of the family. My two sons, and Gerry’s various nieces, thought the world of their big uncle. He always had time for his extended family and many’s the occasion he got out of bed after midnight to drive into town to rescue a stranded niece or nephew, and even brother.

In early 1989, Gerry and his wife Dianne were very happy as they awaited the birth of twins. They already had a boy, Christopher, who was 5 and grew up to become a great friend of CQN’s very own Summa of Sammi.

On Holy Thursday 1989, Dianne duly gave birth to healthy boys – Martin and Michael – in Bellshill Maternity. Gerry was absolutely thrilled and I have never seen such a proud parent as he held those beautiful babies in his arms while an exhausted Dianne looked on with her own beaming smile.

On Good Friday afternoon, Dianne collapsed beside her hospital bed. She was unconscious and was rushed away for emergency treatment. About 20 minutes later, Gerry arrived with a big bunch of flowers, only to find an empty bed and no sign of the babies. Gerry was taken into a room to be told that his beautiful wife, the mother of his 3 children, had suffered an aneurism and was now on a life support machine in Monklands Hospital in Airdrie.

Before long, both Gerry’s and Dianne’s family were at Monklands, anxiously waiting for news. Gerry was devastated. A broken man. A lot of tears were being shed by a lot of people as we took it in turns to sit by Dianne’s bed and talk to her. She just looked like she was asleep and we all expected her to open her eyes at any time and in her customary way, ask what all the fuss is about. Dianne never opened her eyes.
On Saturday evening we were told that she was brain-dead and that there was no hope of any form of recovery. Only the machine was keeping her breathing. It was explained that by law, they were required to perform a number of standard tests on two occasions, 12 hours apart. The second test would take place at noon on Easter Sunday. At 1pm on the Sunday, the immediate family of both Gerry and Dianne were taken into the room and we watched helplessly as the machine was switched off. The doctor explained everything every step of the way.

Gerry held his wife as she slipped away. It was truly heartbreaking to watch.

On Easter Monday, the Daily Record called at Gerry’s door. I had taken it upon myself to answer the door to all visitors as Gerry sat in the house, surrounded by family, trying to come to terms with what had happened. They explained that they got the nod from the hospital and wanted to write a story about the tragic events. I told them I would speak to Gerry and that they should call back later. I spoke to Gerry and he agreed to speak to them later that evening. I told him he didn’t have to, but he said they had a job to do, just like everyone else.

The reporters arrived and they were very tactful and sympathetic to Gerry, it has to be said. Gerry said he was determined to bring his babies up in a manner befitting Dianne. He said he would not let her down and would make her proud. The reporters took away a couple of photographs of Dianne.

Gerry told them he did not want them writing a story that would frighten any women out there who are expecting twins. In the midst of all that had happened to him, my brother actually had the time to think about other people and didn’t want other expectant mothers worrying. That is the measure of the man and at that moment, I was so very proud of him and I remain proud of him to this very day. On Easter Monday the Record ran the story on the front page, basically a news feature about what had happened. They came back on Monday night and took pictures of Gerry at home with his new twins and Christopher. On Tuesday it was again front page with a big picture and the headline, I’ll bring my boys up the way Dianne would have wanted

Gerry never married again.

On Sunday last, the twins celebrated their 25th birthday. At 15 minutes past midnight on Monday, their father passed away peacefully. He saw in their birthday. He also fulfilled his promise to Dianne. His 3 boys are absolute gentlemen and have made both their parents very proud.

On Saturday in Bellshill, Gerry will be buried beside his beloved Dianne. They will be together again. I know she will be as proud of him as we all are.

Again, thanks for listening.

God bless.

The Captain Of Your Soul?

It’s funny how you can sometimes find inspiration in the strangest places.

On Sunday night I was in a sports bar for an hour or two watching Barcelona play Real Madrid, two world class football teams, both up to their ears in debt ( combined bank debt over 1 billion pounds). But they put on a fantastic show with Barcelona coming from behind to win 4-3.

The bar was largely full of men, cheering the game and it got louder as time rolled on and a few penalties were given in questionable circumstances.

Before heading home, I did the necessary and standing there facing the wall came across the following poem, Invictus by William Ernest Henley, I took the time to read it and found it quite inspirational and uplifting particularly the last few lines.

You are the master of your own fate.

You are the captain of your soul.

I guess that we’ve all had experiences of relationships, not necessarily with partners, but also with friends or family, where we have allowed other people set our destinations, sometimes just going with the flow to have a quiet life. The problem with that is you end up somewhere that you don’t really want to be.

Just remember, that your destiny is contained in your own hands and depends upon the choices you make.

As we go through life, it’s important to remember that.

Hopefully you find that as inspirational as I have.

Right now, for me, I hate my job, can’t stand it, feeling like a square peg in a round hole and it doesn’t really matter to me that it pays well .. I’m at breaking point even although I’ve only been here 2 months.

My dilemma is that I’ve never broke a contract, but why put up with something you don’t enjoy?

Time for me to take charge of my destiny, quietly speak my truth and if nothing changes, move on.

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

For some background reading on the poem including its use within popular culture check the link below.

Scotland For The People?

Occasionally, i.e. whenever I can find a willing accomplice, I enjoy a hill-walk over the vast open Scottish mountains.

Not only do I enjoy the exercise of the climb, the companionship, but I find it very calming, even humbling to stand at the top of a mountain, looking over the surrounding hills, lochs and the lines of distant hills as the highlands fade into the distance.

In the past 10 years, I’ve managed to climb some 30 Munroe’s, classified as mountains over 3000 feet, that’s individual Munroe’s and not double counting the more accessible mountains such as Ben Lomond which I’ve climbed on more than one occasion.

My favourite climb so far is the Aonach Eagach ridge, which forms the complete north side of Glencoe as it runs east-west before heading north to fort William.

The walk begins with a vertical climb of around 3600 feet, then continues for the next 3 miles over contains 4 individual mountain tops, only 2 of which are deemed as Munroe’s because there has to be a specific assent and distance between tops for them to be counted individually.

This walk is famous for being the narrowest ridge walk on the mainland UK and second only to the Chuillin mountains on the isle of Skye. My favourite part of the walk is the “Crazy Pinnacles” which is a stretch of around half a mile of pinnacles of up to 100 feet with sheer drops of the full 3500 feet either side.

Quite scary but I loved it and it was my favourite days in the Scottish mountains and I’d love to do it again.

This weekend, I had a fairly quiet weekend, so watching tv sometime between Saturday night and Sunday morning it was quite interesting to come across a programme on the Scottish mountains and in particular The Chuillins of Skye.

Would you believe and this really defeats me, some Laird, ie landlord appointed historically by the English crown claimed ownership of these pieces of national heritage and attempted to sell them to the highest bidder?

How dare he?

I find this land ownership debate petty-minded and like fleas arguing about who owns the cat .. land and particularly the natural, national treasures such as these mountains should be owned by the people.

Fortunately, fortunately .. hhmm .. this greedy money grabbing aristocrat cut a deal to gift the mountains in return for his castle being upgraded at a cost of 6million from the public purse.

Personally, he would have been told that they weren’t his in the first place and took the castle of him as well.

Now if you read my recent post on Scottish Independence, I’m in the NO camp, basically because if I’m buying into something I want to know what I’m getting and I’m not convinced at the moment with the deal on offer, just because Alex Salmond says it will be okay doesn’t mean it will be so.

Frankly I find the man to be a lying, manipulative little shit, but hey he’s a politician so aren’t they all.

But watching this programme really brought out my nationalistic tendencies.

With just under 6 months until the referendum, just wait until they start broadcasting about the Highland Clearances and Braveheart is on the tv every weekend.

Freeeedom!! J

Dilemma – Don’t Get Me Wrong??!!

Don’t get me wrong
If I’m looking kind of dazzled
I see neon lights
Whenever you walk by

Don’t get me wrong
If you say hello and I take a ride
Upon a sea where the mystic moon
Is playing havoc with the tide
Don’t get me wrong

Don’t get me wrong
If I’m acting so distracted
I’m thinking about the fireworks
That go off when you smile

Don’t get me wrong
If I split like light refracted
I’m only off to wander
Across a moonlit mile

Once in awhile
Two people meet
Seemingly for no reason
They just pass on the street
Suddenly thunder, showers everywhere
Who can explain the thunder and rain
But there’s something in the air

Don’t get me wrong
If I come and go like fashion
I might be great tomorrow
But hopeless yesterday

Don’t get me wrong
If I fall in the ‘mode of passion’
It might be unbelievable
But let’s not say so long
It might just be fantastic
Don’t get me wrong

Just heard that song for the first time in ages, sitting at my desk, headphones on pretending that I’m working!!

I’d forgotten how good it is, so uplifting, it conveys the buzz of a new romance, how wonderful to have that feeling?

That lyric .. Feeling kind of dazzled each time he/she walks by .. magic!

There’s a girl I know, kind of, I’ve known her on/off for years, We know about each other’s histories, children, life’s but we don’t really really know each other.

We got chatting on an online dating website a few years ago, she disappeared quickly. I don’t think she was too taken by me when I told her that she was a no-nonsense kind of girl.. c’est la vie .. but I still think that I was right!!

Anyhoo .. we’ve had the odd contact over the years and she reads my gibbering on here, so she knows more about me and the way that I think than I know about her, although she does keep a blog and posts very rarely.

I like her, she’s bright and caring, hard-working and honest. She’s had her own cross to be bear but she carries it with pride. She’s a survivor.

Now as fate would have it, she sits 50 feet from me in the same office .. we’ve had kitchen conversations and lunch at the cafe across the road … she’s a lovely girl and even nicer in person.

I walk past her on the way to the kitchen to make my hourly cup of tea.

As I pass her, I deliberately keep my head straight, it would be wrong not to, but often find myself sneaking a glance.

Now and again, she looks up and she smiles and I like the sparkle in her hazel eyes.

Don’t get me wrong!! 🙂

I wrote that the other day, a bit of dilemma about posting it .. I wouldn’t want to create an awkwardness.

But I write what I feel, its open and honest, and is well intended and if she reads this I hope she takes it as a compliment.

Just cos you like the sparkle in someone’s eyes doesn’t mean anything else .. right!!

And now I’m justifying myself like a pure tube!! 🙂

It’s Friday, its 3pm and looking forward to the weekend although I have no plans.

I now have both of my daughters living with me since Laura fell out with her boyfriend and moved in during the week.

She wasn’t working yesterday and the wee darling had my dinner ready for me coming home and had ironed 10 of my shirts.

What a girl .. I wonder what she wants!!! 🙂

Whatever you are doing, have fun!

The Platform Lovers – Tricks?

Mari knew that she’d messed up, she just hoped that it was fixable that they could quickly forget her comment and move on.

She had already apologised, what more could she do? What else did he want from her?

Mari liked Graeme, she enjoyed spending time with him, he was intelligent and funny in his own quiet dry-humoured way.

Did she fancy him? Well she found him attractive, but that’s not the same thing.

He’s a lovely guy, gentle, reliable, willing to please, the sex was good, enjoyable, he made the effort to please her but the truth was that he just didn’t set her soul on fire.

When they were meeting, she always looked forward to seeing him, but if she was honest with herself, she didn’t get butterflies in her tummy when she thought of him.

She didn’t sit at her desk dreaming about him, feeling herself wriggling and squeezing her thighs together just to relieve the pressure. She hadn’t once been wet thinking about Graeme that only happened after they started kissing or caressing. Only when they were active, then nature took its course.

Even on the nights on her own, before Lily would come through for a cuddle or after she was sleeping silently, when she masturbated she didn’t think about Graeme,, she would never admit it, but it was either faceless or she still thought of Mark, Mark with his hard torso and the jeans that sagged around his skinny butt, but she knew what was underneath.

It had happened again last week, Mark standing outside his car waiting for Lily to run out, smiling at her as she opened the door and waving with Lily as they waved good-bye. She smiled and waved back, but then went inside and cried, she missed him, she couldn’t explain and she knew that it didn’t make sense, but she missed him, missed the life they had together.

She no longer cared that Mark had cheated on her, she wouldn’t forget it, she’s not even sure if she can forgive it, but she wanted him back.

She tried, she dropped enough hints, they’d been together for family events, putting up a common front at Lily’s school panto, going to parent-teachers nights together.

Afterwards, she’d even invited him in to the house, back where he belonged, but he refused, saying that he had to be somewhere but not saying where.

She knew that he was over her, even if she wasn’t over him, he’d moved on whether she liked it or not and she had to do the same, dreadful as it was.

She’d joined the dating site, met a few guys, been affronted by the sleaziness of some of the comments from complete strangers, she wondered if they would say the same things to women that they meet in a bar? Or show their private parts without expecting to be arrested, so why should they be able to do it online?

By comparison, Graeme was a breath of fresh air, quiet, funny, studious and he actually looked like his pics. That in itself was a bonus, he wasn’t fake, he was there open and honest and having met a couple of out and out liars she really was relieved to meet someone genuine, funny, interesting, generous and loyal/

But was it enough?

She couldn’t answer that and Mark was gone, maybe she had to give this new relationship some time. Maybe?

She moved her hand to his cock, lifting it from his thigh, it always amazed her how this soft piece of flesh could change into an instrument of pleasure.

She gently squeezed it knowing that it usually jumped into life, but nothing changed. She knew Graeme was quietly upset, but her comment had obviously hurt him harder than she’d thought..

Without saying a word, she pushed the covers down the bed, wriggled down after them and holding the base of his shaft she took as much of his flaccid soft cock in her mouth, holding it there for a few moments, letting him feel her breath warm his skin then moved her lips to its head and began slowly licking round the rim.

Funny how that always seemed to do the trick!

The Platform Lovers – Stiff?

Graeme closed his eyes as Mari lay her cheek against his, but her words still echoed in his head.

They lay in silence, but his thoughts were bouncing around his head like a broken pin-ball machine, occasionally illuminating him then hitting all the wrong spots and crashing into nothingness.

He’d never been a jealous man, he asked himself if he was jealous now?

But why should he be, the keyword here was that Mark was her “ex”, her past, history, over and done with,, well at least that’s what she had told him.

They’d spend many hours chatting on the phone, those early days where they spoke about music, concerts, then their histories, their children then meeting and the conversation taking a new turn, becoming more sexual as they got to know each other better and complete hot after they had been naked that first time.

He knew it was the honeymoon period, it was only months for fucks sake, it is still the honeymoon period and at no point did he have any doubts about Mari still holding a candle for her ex, not until now.

He knew that Mark took Lily quite often, always on a Wednesday and every second weekend, he respected that, no dad worth his salt wouldn’t make the effort to see his child and play a part in their life.

He told himself that was a good thing, even if it did mean that there was still some occasional contact. Mari had never mentioned anything more than Mark parking outside and Lily being ready to go, there didn’t seem to be any conversation or love lost between them, so what was he worrying about?

But his thoughts were eating him, gnawing at his synapses, he had fitted his life in around Mari, made time for her, arranging sitters for his own kids so that he could be free when she was free.

Now he wondered if he wondered if he had allowed himself to fall too fast, to get in too deep too soon, placing his hopes and dreams on lust rather than love?

Mari moved her hand slowly to his cock , gently lifting its flaccid length from his thigh and beginning to stroke slowly..

He wished it would stiffen, but it wasn’t happening quickly. Stop thinking he told himself, just enjoy the moment, because whatever is going to be is going to be, but right here, right now, you better just make the most of it.

The Platform Lovers – Money Love?

I saw her on the train today, our eyes met briefly as I sat directly facing her on the corridor side of the 6 person booth.

There was a moment of acknowledgement as I made sure that I made no physical contact with her, silently and subtly negotiating the position of our legs, knees almost touching but not quite as long as I tilt mine slightly to the side and she tilts hers the opposite way.

She’s old and slender but not frail, she’s 80 if she’s a day, her hair grey and whispy and a far off look on her face, but there’s a light shining in her dark brown eyes.

We smile for a moment as we relax back into position. Her teeth are all her own and well looked after,

This lady is going to be with us for a while yet, good for her.

Now seated, I take a moment to review my surroundings, somewhat limited facing the back of the train in the second last booth, but I have a look because that’s what you do.

The blonde at the window is what 30? 40? She’s quite shapely and fashionably dressed, her skirt a few inches above her knee, heavy material for the winter and dark thick tights to beat off the chill.

She has a nice set of pins, even although she’s wearing dark knee length flat boots, I can tell how long they are as she tilts them slightly in my direction avoiding contact with the bearded student sitting in front of her. There’s a few inches gap between the top of her boots and her skirt, just enough to see the muscle on her thigh protruding, she doesn’t work out but she’s naturally shapely.

I pretend to look out the window for a moment, sneaking a glance at her face, She’d definitely older than 30, still has a little of that baby-fat or is that post-baby fat around her chin, but she’s quite pretty “for her age”.

There you have it, the phrase that must never to be uttered to any woman that you want to sleep with, that you have slept with, or that you know in any context .. even your mum .. take my advice, just don’t!

I open The Metro that I’d picked up at the station, headlines are those bankers awarding themselves bonuses again, even although they declared massive losses last week .. how does that work?

Seriously .. how can a business declare such major losses last week and then issue their bonus statements this week?

I flick through the paper, looking at the pics, the usual celebrity crap. Sad news of some poor designer woman running up debts of 6 million and committing suicide while her aged rock star boyfriend of the past 10 years was in another part of the world.

How sad, that the poor woman killed herself in shame. Kind of indicative of what’s wrong in this celebrity world, people putting up a front, running shows all over the world, but not paying their debts until it ends in tears.

I feel for her, feel for her loss, but what happened to her boyfriend, this majorly rich rockstar?

Apparently, they were together for over 10 years, which begs the question, when does boyfriend become partner?

Over 10 years of living the life, doing the celebrity parties and shows and you can’t speak to each other and share your problems, help each other out?

When the party was over didn’t they share some intimacy and talk about life and what they needed?

Or was it all parties and no substance?

I wonder if he will miss her and regret not helping her while he could?

Seems to me, that it’s not just ordinary people that have money or relationship problems.

Celebrities just have it on a bigger scale, largely because it’s all just front.

It’s a fecked up world and I put the paper down refusing to be part of it.

The lady coughs, and our eyes meet for a moment, she asks if she can have my paper.

“No problem” I say as I pass it across to her wondering if she enjoys reading the celebrity gossip.

“Thank you, my husband used to work for that bank and he would be disgusted with the state that it’s in now, I’m so angry that I’m going to move my account to another bank”

And I honestly wished that was true, but she just folded the paper and put it in her big brown bag.

A Healthy Free For All?

Hello …

I love writing my stories on this blog, usually about family, love, life, football, internet dating, occasionally sex.

Sometimes I even mention work … a necessary evil in my book, but if you want to live the life, you’ve got to pay the going rate.

That going rate is 37.5 hours of my time to keep me and the kids in the style to which we’ve grown accustomed ..

Yes I know that it’s a sell-out, yes it does go against my grain .. that’s why I can only work on a self employed basis .. I don’t do corporate bull.

I’m a punk/hippy/anarchist at heart, completely rebel without a clue .. or as James Dean replied to the question “What are you rebelling against?” .. “What have you got?”

I think a little rebellion is healthy, it’s what keeps governments and corporations from running rough-shod over society.

It protects the innocent, the infirm, the people who are too weak or poor to look after themselves.

Because make no mistake, if it wasn’t for rebellion, if people didn’t stand up and be counted, there would be no social services in this country, no NHS, no-one to look after you when you are old.

Can you imagine that in this day and age?

What kind of 3rd world country doesn’t have free health care for ALL of their citizens?

Ask yourself is it only 3rd world countries that don’t have free public healthcare .. or is it just the countries that don’t care about their citizens?

Health care is a basic human right and should be free for all and you might not need it now, but someday ..