Scaring Off That Big Black Dog.

Somewhere out there,  they are there,  alone,  lonely,  miserable bordering on depressed but they say nothing and if you ask,  they say that “they’re fine.”

“It’s okay not to be okay “.. became a mantra often repeated on social media in the past few years..

But is it really okay not to be okay?

How do you know when your friend,  colleague or family member says that “they’re fine”.

Another popular one .. i would rather listen to your problems than your eulogy.

Sounds cliched,  a sound-bite to like or share on social media,  but what are you actually going to do about it?

Late one night on a camping trip,   when the drinking and singing had settled down to a chilled quiet talk round the fire,   a good friend of mine confessed to having the Black Dog of depression following him.

I’d never heard of the term before and asked him to explain.

On Laughter … The Secret Of Life!

On laughter … intelligence, seriousness, empathy, history, the secret of life!

Love this and worth a watch.

If we can laugh together,  then we can live together.

If only our politicians had more humour and empathy.

 

Musical Differences? … Change and Resentment.

Q – So why did you and the band split up Robbie?

A – Well .. I don’t know … musical differences I guess.

He was hardly going to say that he’s a bit of an arrogant selfish prick, tired of playing second fiddle to the more talented Gary and wanting more attention.

You could swap those names for Liam / Noel or even John / Paul.

But is it arrogant or selfish to want to move on to different things, to leave the old behind and try a new challenge?

If you’ve ever felt bored or unappreciated in a job or a relationship and wanted to move on because what you have isn’t working and you feel that you’d be more appreciated elsewhere, does that make you a bad person?

Of course it doesn’t.

The problem occurs because when you leave people behind they can feel hurt or let down in whatever context you’ve split.

How many times have you seen friends or family in a relationship that’s broken or stale and it goes on like that for a while because they care about what they had and have a lot of time invested in each other. But eventually something has to give.

Work Stories – Having Faith?

 

It’s 5pm and I’m leaving work. 

As i get up to put on my jacket, I notice that unusually everyone else is too, not just in my team but it seems that the full office is leaving. 

As I get to the central stairs, they are crowded when they are normally empty and it seems that the full building is leaving. 

Hmmm … I’m noticing a pattern. 

I ask one of my colleagues who is also leaving what’s going on?

It seems that there was a call within the management for voluntary redundancies three months ago and the people selected were told last week. 

Today all of the staff were emailed to attend a mandatory meeting with one of the U.K. Group directors later this week. 

Seems that there is a restructure and job losses on the horizon. 

I’m pleased to see that people are rightly voting with their feet, 5pm and we are outta here. 

Me, I’m self employed, I lost any delusions of loyalty to a company many many years ago. 

Work pays the wages, affords a lifestyle, but keep it in perspective and remember your real life is much more important. 

As I mentioned to my colleague,   If you get offered redundancy take it,  it’s not often that ordinary working class people get the chance to grab a lump sum and stash it in the bank.  

Don’t worry about being out of work,  there is lots of opportunity out there for anyone with sellable skills or determination 

Just get your CV updated and on the jobsites and the phone will ring. 

Have faith in yourself. 

Once the new job arrives spend half the redundancy on a holiday with the family or do something you always wanted. 

It’s only money.  Use it to buy time. 

—

4am and I’m wired to the moon. 

It’s cause and effect you see,   Early night Sunday,  up early yesterday,  out like a light last night and my awake switch flicked on at 3am today.  

I should sleep or I’ll probably be knackered  tomorrow but can’t. 

Better not turn the tv on!
 

Happy Valentine’s Day

  

Happy Valentine’s Day to you whether you’re in a relationship or not. 

If you’re in a relationship and you’re happy then you’re lucky.  Stay with it, cherish it,  do something random to make  them feel special and not just today. 

If you’re single and happy then more power to you.  Sometimes it takes strength to fly solo. 

If you’re single and looking then good luck,  but you need to buy a ticket to win the lottery.   So think positive and get back in the game. 

If you’re in a relationship and unhappy. .. time to change it.   Change can be painful all that emotional and financial heartache but there’s a brighter future on the distant horizon.  You need to stay focussed on that when the pain gets too much. 

Sometimes you really are better off alone. 

Using Your Noddle? .. #Money

A friend of mine was caught out last year when her husband was secretly running up large credit cards debts.

To make matters worse,  he took out an extension to their mortgage and despite upgraded banking practices he forged her signature on the loan paperwork.

I’m surprised this is possible as my understanding is that as part of “Know Your Customer”, the borrower would have to be on the banks premises to confirm their commitment to the deal.

Obviously not. Or in this case over familiarity has allowed abuse of the systems designed to prevent this fraud.

Fraud,  provable with serious consequences both directly  for the fraudster and indirectly for my friend and her family.

So what would you do?

Involve the police?  Let him be arrested? Prison?  Loss of earnings?  Loss of family home?

Or sort it out between yourselves? 

Making Yourself Happier? #inspiration #science

I came across the article below where a neuroscience researcher,   has investigated the brain and its responses using the latest medical techniques during various states of emotion including happiness, sadness, anxiety, empathy, etc.

It’s a fascinating article and well worth a read.

I particularly like the third action of being decisive as sometimes when in a quandary about an issue and wondering whether you are making the right decision can be very stressful,  but just deciding and accepting a better solution and not necessarily the best solution can help you remove that anxiety.

I hope you find it as interesting and helpful I did.

Here’s a summary of what the researchers say will make you happy.  I’ve attached the more detailed article below.

• Ask “What am I grateful for?” No answers? Doesn’t matter. Just searching helps.
• Label those negative emotions. Give it a name and your brain isn’t so bothered by it.
• Decide. Go for “good enough” instead of “best decision ever made on Earth.”
• Hugs, hugs, hugs. Don’t text — touch.

So what’s the dead simple way to start that upward spiral of happiness?

Just send someone a thank you email.   If you feel awkward about it, you can send them this post to tell them why.

This really can start an upward spiral of happiness in your life. UCLA neuroscience researcher Alex Korb explains:

Everything is interconnected.
Gratitude improves sleep.
Sleep reduces pain.
Reduced pain improves your mood.
Improved mood reduces anxiety.
Reduced anxiety improves focus and planning.
Focus and planning help with decision making.
Decision making reduces anxiety and improves enjoyment.
Enjoyment gives you more to be grateful for, which keeps that loop of the upward spiral going.

Enjoyment also makes it more likely you’ll exercise and be social, which, in turn, will make you happier.

— The full article can be read at the following link

http://www.businessinsider.com/a-neuroscience-researcher-reveals-4-rituals-that-will-make-you-a-happier-person-2015-9?IR=T

Not Getting Any Younger? #poetry #humour

Oh God please hear my silent plea
And bring my princess here to me
Shes good and kind for all to see
And I’m not getting any younger

Her long dark hair and smile wide
Her touch that thrills me deep inside
I think I’d let her be my bride
Cos I’m not getting any younger

But alas my God he didn’t hear
And now I’m stuck with you I fear
I think I’ll cry a pool of tears
Cos you’re not getting any younger

Family Isn’t Always About Blood. #Scotland

Just had a fantastic weekend starting on Thursday night with a visit to Balmaha on the shore of Loch Lomond then a trip to Ardlamont Point south of Tigbnabruich with its fantastic views to the isles of Arran, Bute and The Mull Of Kintyre. 

There’s just something fundamental about wild camping,  no electricity or running water that brings you back in touch with nature and makes you realise what is important in life. 

The most important thing in life isnt money, clothes, music, concerts or everything that city life in Glasgow or Edinburgh provides.  All of wlich I enjoy to one degree or other. 

But it’s about having friends and people that care about you.  Having them around doing all the basic things like cooking together, helping set up tents, finding firewood,  sitting chatting about life rather than watching tv. 

It’s very grounding. 

New friends and old friends including  Jim and Tommy, my two best pals from childhood. 

People that know you from your earliest age,  like having another two brothers that know you inside out and will back you or give you it straight as real friends should. 

I love my 4 real brothers but family isn’t always about blood. 

—

A few pics below.   

How beautiful is the west coast of Scotland?

I count myself very blessed to have been born here. 

Balmaha Bay   
Loch Lomond

  

The Rest And Be Thankful   
Argylls Secret Coast – Kyles Of Bute

  

Ardlamont with Arran in background   

 Portavadie Marina

 

FREEEEEDOM!!!!  🙂  

Because we can-can-Cannes!

Cannes playground of the rich and famous certainly lives up to that description. 

It’s a gorgeous place,  the marina lined with huge luxury cruisers,  the promenade a list of every top brand designer. 

It’s not too bad for a wee boy from Govan either, even if I can’t afford Cartier or Gucci! 

There’s nothing like seeing or imagining how the other half live to make you feel …

What?

Jealous?  Small? Poor? Insignificant?

If that’s the case then you my friend need to reevaluate yourself.    Money,  or the lack of it does not make you who you are. 

If you’re reading this,  you’re probably already quite fortunate in the grand scheme of things. 

Probably at home, work or you’re commute killing a bit of time browsing the crap available on the Internet. 

You and I really are quite fortunate. 

Enjoy what you have. 

If you don’t believe me, look at the news it could be a helluva lot worse. 

—

On a personal note lying here in the sun just had a call and an email cancelling my contract and giving me a few weeks notice. 

Should I worry?

Maybe?

But why bother, life throws these curve balls,   It’s more important to focus on dealing with it than worrying about it.