The First To Say Good-Bye?

 

The First To Say Good-Bye?

Well she actually said,  “Fuck Off”   .. delightful I’m sure!   🙂

It’s not that I haven’t said the same thing to her before,  because I have,  even although I didn’t mean it.

It was more a “Seriously?”  than a “Get out of here”.

Where as hers was more a ” Get out of here asap and never come back”  🙂

But the big difference is,  somewhere inside,  this time I knew she meant it.

This time I thought,  you really are pissed off with me.

What is it that I do to make piss her off so much?

How can I simply be out with friends and family enjoying the day,  then get a rattling angry text from her.

Truth is,  I was enjoying spending time with my closest brother before he goes through a major operation,  enjoying the football,   the sunshine and his last few days of freedom before going under the knife with life changing results and I don’t even want to think about the worst case scenario.

So we got caught up,  I hadn’t contacted her until 8:30,  but it was only 8:30 for fucks sake,  hardly the end of the night.

Yeah,  maybe I should have contacted her earlier to finalise arrangements,  let her plan ahead,   I get that,  but it takes 2 to tango,  does it not?

So what next?

Let it go?

Apologise?

Look for some middle-ground between eating humble pie and maintaining a huff.

You know I miss her,  she knows I miss her,   I know that she’s hurting,   probably waiting on a call  ..  or maybe not.

Here’s the truth,   good-bye isn’t always a one-sided decision and fuck off isn’t always the end.

We’ve came this far and its a lot to throw away for trivial reasons.


 

Anyway,   my closest brother is genuinely under the knife today,    they found a 4cm long tumour in one of his kidneys and are removing the kidney completely.

Only this time last week, we met for a curry and some beers before going to see Bryan Ferry at The Royal concert Hall in Glasgow.     He’d only just heard the bad news.

He’s a different kind of character to me,  he’s  more “get it done” where I’d be worried sick.

But you’ve really got to love the NHS for taking care of business so quickly.

So it might not be perfect,  budgets are limited,  but when you need it,  it’s there.

Last night,  I went over to see him ..  strange thing ..  I don’t see him every week,    we aren’t in constant contact,    but he’s my oldest friend,  a close confidante,  I just can’t imagine him not being around.

Right now,   waiting on the news from the hospital,  it’s a strange situation,  a pregnant pause,  when life is out of your hands,  big things are happening and there’s absolutely nothing you can do about them.

I’m not really religious,  but I will admit to having said a silent prayer.

I never ever want to say goodbye.

Advertisements

Dating Dilemma? The need for positive affirmation.

Imagine, your dating for a month and have an amazing time and then you are invited into his/her home and you find this.

What would you do? 🙂


I came across the above dilemma on Facebook, two of my aunties and a few female cousins had commented.

I scanned the comments, most were from women, with a mix from :-

1 – They have mental issues, help them by calling social services.

2 – They have mild mental issues and can’t manage a household. Help them by tidying the place up.

3 – They may or may not have a mental health issues but they have a chaotic lifestyle, leave and end relationship.

4 – They have mental issues, potentially dangerous, run away.

Clearly whoever it is, may or may not have mental heath issues, But they do have lifestyle issues.

The fact that they function normally in public but have a chaotic home life is an indication of much deeper issues, clearly lazy, unable to manage their time and you bet a bad financial history.

Would you get your kitchen gloves on?

Really? That’s not going to help the deeper issues going on here.

Besides, you’ve known them a month, So why would you even considering spending time with such a loser?

Perspective people. Sometimes you need to recognise that people are their own worst enemies and it’s not your problem.

But why do people feel the need to comment on Facebook?

Is it something missing in themselves that they need to give an opinion?

That they need that opinion to be ratified by the number of likes they receive?

Did their comment change anything?

No it doesn’t, it’s a completely pointless waste of fucking time.

Personally I’d go with option 3.

Oh shit, I’ve given a pointless opinion.

Both Sides Maybe? …. #Poetry #Humour

Saturday morning and I’m up before the Monday to Friday 630am alarm.

Love the new painting Another Married Man by Jack Vettriano.

I met him once, he smiled and called me a “dirty bastard!”

Takes one to know one! 🙂

Truth be told, I think we both just appreciate the female form.

Question – What would Donald Trump say about that ladies derrière?

I’d have to agree with him.

https://www.jackvettriano.com/shop/another-married-man/

Wolf – Last Christmas?

wolf

Of course I miss you, it would be stupid to think that I didn’t.

A couple of years together thrown away a puff of anger, hurt feelings and faux outrage.

Faux?

Because we are both proud people and although we were both in the wrong, our pride doesn’t allow us to apologise and climb down from our moral high ground very easily.

I know that I upset you, you know that you upset me, but is worth throwing away a bright future for the sake of some relatively petty issues?

Probably not.

So why are we allowing this to continue to fester and the distance between us to grow?

I’ve already said sorry. I don’t think I can do anything more.

How many apologies does it take? Continue reading “Wolf – Last Christmas?”

Life Moves On, Like it or Not!

IMG_0570

Sometimes, as you get to a certain age, you realise that life is moving on.

My world seems pretty static, I’m single, kids now 28, 27 and 20 and only the youngest is still with me.

Most of the time, nothing really changes, I go to work, go home, eat dinner, play piano, watch tv, fall asleep on sofa, repeat.

It’s Friday and I’ve just did my latest invoice for the company who currently employs my service.

That’s a straight 34 weeks I’ve worked without a break, that pretty bad .. huh.

In August, I was hoping for a family holiday, I was picking up the tab, but the kids all have busy life’s and partners/boyfriends/girlfriend ( delete as necessary)

Trying to get them all to agree to a week or two in the sun at the same time just wasn’t happening.

So unfortunately I didn’t get away and I’m missing the sunshine no my bones.

But I digress, life is moving on whether I like it or not.

The kids considering their partners more than their dad was inevitable, it’s part of life but it still hurts when they don’t want a family holiday. Continue reading “Life Moves On, Like it or Not!”

Good People, Bad Things, Right Reasons?

Trump

Check out my face.
I’m no George Clooney or Brad Pitt.
I’m not exactly handsome.
Am I?

Check out my body
I’m no Arnie, Beckham or Federer
The diet coke guy
I’m not.

Check out my mind
It’s not Mandela or Thatcher
And Stephen Hawking
Has nothing to fear

Check out my heart
You’ll see that it’s big
That its full of love
And it’s in the right place

Check out my soul
It’s mostly pure
Mostly
But I have sinned
I have stolen
Cheated
Lied
But only to survive
And provide

A sinner, a liar, a cheater, a thief
It doesn’t make you a bad person
Sometimes good people
Do bad things for the right reasons

Continue reading “Good People, Bad Things, Right Reasons?”