September Blue? #ChrisRea

Your head spins round on a Monday
And the daylight’s in your eyes
How you laughed and cursed tomorrow
Now he’s standing by your side
You touched the stars at midnight
The whole world seem to shout ‘Hello’
Now your throat is tired and heavy
And only one can go

I’ll be all right though I may cry
The tears that flow they always dry
It’s just that I would rather be with you now
And every time I see that star
I will say a prayer for you
Now and forever September blue

I’ll be all right though I may cry
The tears that flow they always dry
It’s just that I would rather be with you now
And every time I see that star
I will say a prayer for you
Now and forever September blue
‘Cos I’ll always love you
September blue


Last day of September, sitting on a train with the low sun brightening up the beautiful Scottish countryside.

Sometimes a song comes into your head for no reason, or because someone else has seeded an idea.

I love that song, so sad and touching, it gets me every time.

It takes me somewhere else, to memories of losing loved ones, my mum particularly as she passed in September a few years ago.

But also of lost love, to mistakes made and lessons harshly learned.

You’ve probably never heard it as it was never a hit or single but give it a listen and I’m sure you’ll love it too.

Ps – writing that has put the tiniest glimmer of a tear in my eye, the guy sitting across from me in the 4 seat booth is probably wondering what the feck is going on with this plonker!

I will always love you September Blue!

She Calls Me Handsome …

I had a friend, a lover who always called me handsome ..

I’d always smile and reply .. Who me?

Or turn my head around and pretend that I was looking for the good looking guy standing behind me!

I don’t accept praise easily.

Once upon a time after a particularly close encounter … She called me handsome again.

Now call me cynical …. ( you’re cynical – Ed )

But I wondered if she called all of her partners handsome, not that she was the promiscuous type, I mean more in the way of a pet name

Or worse … Like guys referring to women as babe … So that they can send the same anonymous text to the three women they are seeing

But it was a particularly intimate moment and I was feeling very open so I asked .. Why?

She says … Because you are ..

To which I replied that I was really very ordinary and nothing special.

There then ensued a conversation of perception and self doubt.

How others see us and how we see ourselves and the gulf that can exist between these two viewpoints.

Don’t get me wrong I’m flattered by the compliments, but the hole in myself perception will never allow my ego to become inflated.

Anyhoo it’s 6am and browsing the web dreading the thought of getting up for work in Edinburgh when it’s a Glasgow bank holiday and everyone else is off.

I just came across the following pic on Michael Mosleys site.

It got me thinking about how others see us and how we see ourselves.

Some people have a very high opinion of themselves which is totally unwarranted.

Some people are the opposite and have low opinions of themselves and are full of self doubt even although they have nothing to worry about.

But as they say, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so If someone genuinely thinks that we are handsome aren’t we blessed?

Blessed enough to drop the self doubt?

Only time will tell … But kinda doubt it!! 🙂


The Platform Lovers – Collections?

Charles closed the door of his den and sat on the leather captain’s chair,  pulling the laptop from its bag and waiting for it to jump into life.

This was his private place,  the one room in the house where Michelle or the kids hardly ever ventured,  largely because they were actively discouraged not to.

This was his room, full of the toys and memorabilia that a man with cash to spend had bought over the years.

The shelves were full of the toys that he’d collected as a boy,  then added to as a an adult.  The full Star Wars collection,  Hans Solo and Luke Skywalker standing either side of The Millennium Falcon aiming their blasters at Darth Vader while Princess Leia shelters behind them.

It was a childish pose,  didn’t he know that Leia was a strong , feisty, independent woman and would have blasted him in a second if she knew half of what he’d been up to?

The walls were adorned with photos from his boys weekends,  fishing, shooting Grouse and playing golf on a weekend at Gleneagles.   The fact that the boys were only there for the day and Geraldine had joined him in the evening for an intimate dinner and they’d stayed up half the night making love in each corner of the four-poster bed in their stateroom was strangely omitted from his collection of displayed memories.

There were photographs of his Harley Davidson which largely sat in the garage unused since he had found more stimulating toys to play with.  He liked to take it out and polish every now and then,   ride it to the end of the street and never further than round the block.

The Harley was just another toy,  another object to add to his collection,  just like the new collection he had started since he had gave Geraldine the push.

The room was never locked,  that would have drawn too much attention.

But he was aware that Michelle had become suspicious of his late nights,  sitting in his den until the early hours or out with “clients”.

She had been in the room a few times recently, looking through the few papers on the desk and in the drawers but there was nothing to see.

Or more accurately there was nothing to see unless Charles deliberately wanted her to see it.

Charles knew that Michelle occasionally spied on him,  he could feel her growing curiosity in the questions she occasionally asked about his client-nights,  asking where he had been and who he had been with.

That was a mistake,   it showed her hand too soon.

Friends close,  enemies closer,  that was how Charles liked to play it.

His father,  despite his general coldness had taught him well.

Back when he was a child,  his father had taught him not to do what the other boys do.

Never ever forewarn your enemy.

He’d seen this behaviour on many occasions since,  two boys fighting  in the playground,  more recently grown men making the same mistake of telling their opponent what they were going to do.

This was usually a sign of a fight being handbags at fifty paces .. and not going to come to anything.

I’m sure that you’ve saw this routine many times before?

Where both parties tried to threaten their opponent with bullshit hoping that the other guy would back down.

Then the pushing would start,  “I’m going to …”

Actually they weren’t.

What they were doing was hoping that either the opponent was a bigger coward or had more to lose than them and would back down or a passer-by, friend or accomplice would break things up before things had gone too far and a physical battle ensued.

I mean really?

Seriously .. who really wants a physical battle?

Do you think that grown men acting like kids over some stupid incident really want that?

Even if you win,  you lose,  no-one wants a black eye or an assault charge.

So it’s really all posturing, bravado and bullshit.

Charles was different,  he didn’t fight,  he didn’t get into trouble,  he spoke quietly, confidently and If there was a reason to do battle,  he chose his moment and hit his opponent with everything he had when they least expected it.

Until then,  schtum,  nothing,  bite your lip, smile and quietly make plans.

The lack of outward emotion would have made him seem cold-hearted to anyone if it wasn’t for the fact that he balanced this internal coldness with charm and humour at a surface level,  but he was only charming when it suited him,  when giving something up,  got him what he really wanted,  his black heart was as cold and ruthless as steel.

He logged into the laptop,  business first, pleasure later.

He started a browser and logged into the bank account for the new company he had started.

Somewhere upstairs in the darkness,  there was an almost imperceptible click as a record was written to a hard disk.

The contracts had been signed last year at Gleneagles,  reselling insurance was simple,  you buy  a package form the bigger company, form relationships with clients and they sign up to pay at a premium for a service that you front but the risk is mitigated elsewhere.

Michelle’s father, Robert,  had taught him the business,  he was disappointed that he hadn’t had a son and being an old-school gentleman, he didn’t think that his daughter and pride and joy Michelle would be interested or capable of running the business.

Charles was happy to learn and be part of this,  it offered him more rewards than he had ever dreamed of and his charm with Michelle’s fathers contacts had grown the business over the years.

Being a member of the right golf club and being able to give the right handshake helped,   it didn’t guarantee business but it always got you in the door.

Again Robert,  had been invaluable,  opening doors for him which would have remained close to him if he hadn’t met Michelle and chose a path towards a bright future rather than finding a boring job in an office somewhere.

The fact that he didn’t love her was neither here nor there,  he was always capable of picking up a bit on the side,  something to keep him amused until they became too close and he had to kill it off.

But people talk and he knew that Robert was aware of this,   that he didn’t condone it,  but as long as he didn’t bring it home and it was just a bit of fun then he’d turn a blind eye.

After all,  Robert had conspiratorially whispered late one Christmas day over a bottle of malt,  that he had done the same in his younger years stating that it was okay as long as it was meaningless it didn’t matter.   Robert leaned closer and whispered that he was sure that his wife knew about his affairs but turned a blind eye to it as long as everything was okay at home.

Then they laughed when Charles called him a crafty old bastard and Robert said that it takes a one to know one.

But time had moved on,  the kids were old enough now and it was time for him to break free from Michelle but first he wanted to ensure that his future was secure and the next years contracts were in place,  keeping the money rolling in while the divorce process runs its course.

Now he checked his emails,  waiting on the communication that the contracts would be renewed,  but there was nothing.  He’d give Alistair a friendly call in the morning asking if he wanted to join him for a round of golf on Saturday.  This may just stimulate the offer or at least get the last few points straightened out.  Alistair had already given him the nod that the contracts would be renewed,   it was just a matter of going through the process.

Alistair was head buyer for global company,  a valuable contact who had become a good friend over the years as they both enjoyed the high life and were always willing to provide alibis for each other.

They were like grown up teenagers telling their parents I’m staying at their friends house and vice versa.

Alistair had even borrowed Charles apartment on a few occasions for secret liaisons with whatever woman he was seeing.

Charles didn’t ask,   the unspoken rule was that you can never tell what you never know.

When Charles had explained the situation with Michelle and that he was thinking of starting divorce,   Alistair had been sympathetic and a good confidante.

When Charles suggested to him that he could provide the service that Michelle’s company currently provided,  with no cost difference to the company,  Alistair was more than happy to help a friend particularly if that helped him through a difficult situation and they carried on with their fun and games.

And so it had begun,  contracts had been signed,  Michelle’s loss was Charles’s gain.

When the new contracts came through,  he’d pull the trigger and get the divorce process under way.

He closed the browser and opened an explorer window,  browsing to his secret folder,  even although the laptop was kept under lock and key,  he didn’t like to take a chance.

He browsed past the meaningless rubbish and opened the encrypted zip file,  keying the password to access his latest memories.

The next 5 minutes he spent flipping through the images,  each one a memory from his recent past and more than enough to generate the necessary stimulation.

It was never as good as the real thing,  but if you can’t get it at home,  then it was a good second and he looked forward to more of the same after he had broken the matrimonial ties.

When he was finished,  he closed the laptop and put it back in the bag and pulled a couple of receipts from the coffee shops that he had visited,  meeting clients,  or meeting women,  it didn’t really matter,  as long as Michelle read them and he passed them to his PA later then he was playing the game of being seen to be doing the right thing.

He liked to think that he was meticulous in his deceit.

But there’s always a trace, particularly if you know how or where to look.

Michelle knew that there was no possibility of accessing Charles lap-top which he kept under lock and key most of the time, locking it in his desk drawer at night or the boot of his car when he wasn’t using it.

This had only made Michelle more suspicious and keen to determine what was on the disk and what he was up to.

She’d passed Alex from the investigations agency a spare set of keys and gave him the go-ahead to set up his equipment on a day that she had made sure Charles would be in the office all day.

Alex had been busy.


I enjoyed writing that,  writing about an out and out bastard is good fun .. and its going to get worse .. I’ve already started on something but saving that as its maybe a bit too much!

But right now I want to go and wash my mouth out with soap!!  🙂

Have a good weekend whatever you are up to!

Ryder Cup Gala Review

Hey, hello, how are ya?

Standing in the rain at a godforsaken train station in the middle of nowhere

Or half way between Glasgow and Edinburgh if you prefer!

Last nights Ryder Cup Gala Performance is still playing in my head!

Maybe should have stayed off the fizz on a school night .. But had a fantastic time.

My personal highlights were as expected …

Danny Wilson reform for Mary’s Prayer, I’d pay money to see that again.

Midge Ure belting out Vienna with the backing of a fifty piece RNSO orchestra.

Texas back on tour with the gorgeous Sharlene showing that she can still rock the place and even managed to get the surrounding golfers and golf widows on their feet.

The man I wanted to see most, Nile Riodgers didn’t disappoint. That 1960 Stratocaster guitar of his isn’t called the Hitmaker for nothing.

With limited time, the set was too short but I particularly loved the mash up of I Want Your Love and Get Lucky.

How that girl Kimberley Davis can belt out the tunes while shaking her rather large but sexy ass was pretty mesmerising!

The surprise of the evening was the very talented Amy Macdonald’s version of Bruce Sprinsteen’s Dancing In The Dark. I absolute loved how she slows it down and made the lyric more meaningful.

That’s the tune in my head today.. Check it out in the link below.

Other highlights include an appreciation of Eddie Reader that I never had previously. The wonderful Elaine C Smith comes across as such a warm caring person and I’d like her to be first minister as she cares about people not politics.

Oh yeah and there was something about golf!

Just kidding, that was more memorable than I expected with both teams on stage and as a non-golfer, it’s stimulated an interest and I’ll be sure to tune in over the weekend.

Got to say tho, that if the Ryder Cup was based on the attractiveness of the WAGs then sorry Europe but the USA have won it before a ball is played!! 🙂


Mistakes And Regrets – Mary’s Prayer?

Everything is wonderful
Being here is heavenly
Every single day, she says
Everything is free

I used to be so careless
As if I couldn’t care less
Did I have to make mistakes?
When I was Mary’s prayer

So when you find somebody who gives
Think of me and celebrate
I made such a big mistake
When I was Mary’s Prayer

I love that song,  always have, always will and recently taught myself how to play it on piano.

Does it have special meaning?

Not particularly,  but I dare say we’ve all made mistakes and can relate to it one way or another.

Do mistakes, imply regrets?

I think they do and with hindsight, I could probably have handled something’s better than I have.

Couldn’t we all?

But the trick is to learn from it.

Don’t let the mistakes of the past cloud your future and don’t spend time regretting things that you cannot change.

Just try not to make the same mistakes again.

Tonight the band Danny Wilson reform for a performance as part of the Ryder Cup Gala Evening at The Hydro.

Can’t wait to see this with the full RNSO orchestra.

I’m also looking forward to seeing Midge Ure doing Vienna with the Orchestra Jake Bugg and Amy Macdonald

Then to finish,  Nile Rodgers from Chic to finish off the dancing.

Can’t wait to see my favourite of theirs I Want Your Love and that fantastic strings and trumpet section.

Just a shame that’ it’s a Wednesday night.

More details and video links here ..

The Future Belongs To Hope! #IndyRef

A “friend” of mine .. no not that kind of friend .. put a post on his Facebook page yesterday.

The gist of it was,   now that Scotland has had a demographic vote and decided NO,  can all the YES voters please shut up and accept everything as it is.

Actually no Joe,  that just isn’t happening.

Even as part of the UK,  we will not be silent.

Not because you want it,  because you’re a crabbit faced old bastard and you are scared of your pension and the value of the pound in your pocket.

Not because you’re actually English and arguably shouldn’t have had a vote in the first place.

Not just because you’d prefer us YES voters to go away like the subservient race you’d like to think we are.

Not because we are intimidated by the misguided Anglicised Thugs that believe they are Northern English rather than Scottish.

The No voters did win .. this time .. but there’s a momentum now,  independence will happen at some point in the future.

Take a look at the demographics below.

 The young and the poor were more likely to vote YES because they feel disenfranchised from the UK.

Time changes everything,   the older generation who voted NO will die off,  the young will lead the way.

The future belongs to Hope.


Polls And Demographics On Why Scotland Voted No

The Man Who Sold The World! #DavidBowie

Tonight Toni Visconti and Woody Woodmansey play the ABC Glasgow.

A Bowie festival with two of the original Spiders From Mars, Glenn Gregory from Heaven 17 on vocals and Steve Norman from Spandau Ballet on sax and guitar.

They are playing Bowies early and most underrated albums The Man Who Sold The World from start to finish then finishing on a load if hits from the Ziggy period.

Check the setlist below.


Beauty Speaking? #IndyRef

Last night on the train home from Edinburgh,  I sat in a 4 seat booth facing backwards and diagonally opposite probably one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen.

As I stood,  taking my jacket off,  I took a moment to drink her in.

Late 20s,  long blonde hair carefully cut,  Black fitted dress showing her shapely figure, just the top of her breasts showing over the high sweetheart cut,  very tasteful, feminine yet discreet.

As I sat diagonally opposite her .. well it would have been weird to sit beside her and invasive to sit directly in front of her.

Don’t you know the unspoken rules of train seating etiquette?

Continue reading “Beauty Speaking? #IndyRef”

So It’s A No Then? #IndyRef

 So Scotland voted No.

Well actually 55% of the people who voted said NO,  45% said YES on an 86% turnout.

That’s an outstanding turnout and I believe that it set a new UK record.

What happened to the other 14%?

Disinterested,  apathetic,  couldn’t care less?

I happened to be speaking with my ex-wife yesterday,  her and her new man couldn’t be bothered voting and were happy to go with the flow.

I didn’t comment but what a waste of an opportunity to make a difference.

Would the other 14% have made a difference?

We will never know but it’s indicative of the volume of people who feel disenfranchised with whatever government run the UK or an independent Scotland.

What about the 45% who got off their arses and said YES.. are they feeling disenfranchised now?

I’m sure that there will be disappointments to various degrees,  but personally I’m taking the positive from this and viewing it as a step along the way to what will eventually happen.

Working in Edinburgh’s financial area,  anyone that I spoke to that voted NO did so either because they are actually English by birth and reside here,  immigrants who now reside here and want to remain part of the UK or Scottish people who voted because they feared for the value of the pound in their pocket.

Should these people who are non-Scottish by birth have had any say in this election?

Personally I don’t think so ..  I don’t care what passport someone holds,  what colour of skin they have,  but residing in the country just isn’t enough to understand the issues.

This isn’t about money or personal circumstances,  this is about a nation controlling it’s own destiny.

It would be interesting to see the demographic of who actually voted when country of birth is considered

What does the future hold?

Well you know that I’m not a fan of Alex Salmond,  but I think his speech this morning was pretty magnanimous in accepting defeat but working for more powers to the devolved Scotland.

Mr Cameron,  also magnanimous in victory reiterated that the plan to work with the Scottish Parliament to devolve more powers,  very generous of him,  but my cynical side is telling me that it won’t happen and will be shot down by a southern English conservative vote who have been hostile to Scotland’s desires to control its own destiny.

Today,  we’re in the UK for the foreseeable future,  but 45% of voters aren’t going to disappear,  they are energised and active.

I absolutely believe that independence will happen,  it’s just a matter of time.


For the record,  I’m apolitical,   I do not trust or agree with any political party and find their petty bickering wasteful.   They are more about retaining their own power than doing what is right for the people.

That doesn’t mean that I don’t care about politics or social issues,  I believe that people are far more important than political parties.

My personal preference would be to end unconstructive party politics and get the people voting for the big issues and having the politicians become administrators working for the will of the people.

We already have the technology to make that happen.

The Platform Lovers – Velvet?

I was just about to put my lips to hers but paused …

Anticipation is every …  thing!

I savoured the moment, breathing her bouquet like a sommelier before she sips that first taste of nectar.

Soft, sweet, delicate, a slightly glistening rosé that tastes like nothing else on earth.

Something primeval makes me want to drink her in, to cover my face in her wetness and shortly I will

But a memory intrudes and I wonder why some guys don’t enjoy this?

They say that they don’t see the point of it, that they don’t like it, that it’s for faggots …

The obvious irony of that comment is lost on these Neanderthals.

Maybe it was the guys I knew at the time, but then I’ve heard the same proclamations made with youthful exuberance and 40 year old adolescent bravado.

Men of any age can be so … vulgar!

If you believe the nonsense spouted from these connoisseurs, apparently all women are the same ..

In my experience and having spoken to my female friends,  most men really are ignorant when it comes to pleasing the woman in their life.

I’ve listened to them generalise,  telling me their preconceptions about something they have spent little time try8ing to understand.

Take poor Michelle here,  her bastard husband Charles trying to fuck every woman that breathes.

But Alex and I had spoken to his lovers,  not just Michelle,  but Geraldine his ex-PA,  who had confirmed that he’s a sad pathetic loser of a man with very little consideration or knowledge of what a woman really needs.

Why do you think that is?

Is it because they treat woman as objects,  toys to be picked up,  used and dropped?

Is their need to fuck as many woman as possible because they can’t pleasure one?

There’s a psychology degree thesis and a fortune waiting on anyone who can fathom the insecurities of the male ego.

But forgive me, its rude to keep a lady waiting ..

Monica holds Michelle’s eyes for a moment,  just long enough to let her know that she’s relishing the occasion, thinking how different she looks from this angle,  her face just visible beyond her breasts as she lays back on the pillow.

Monica can feel the tension in Michelle’s limbs,  the nervousness and uncertainty of what is about to happen.

At least she kept herself neat and trim and hadn’t let herself go completely or maybe she had just trimmed for the occasion?

Monica moistens her lips,  salivating, then running it round her lips with her tongue,  the first touch could often be dry but that never lasts.

She remembered the first time that she had made love to a woman,  although that not exactly true,   the first time Monica had been a passive participant and scared of what lay ahead.

She’d been a mum at the time,  afraid to show her body with its stretch-marks off to a man never mind a woman.

It had taken weeks and a few bottles of wine before she allowed anything to go beyond kissing,   but Elaine had been so gentle, and caring,  demonstrating a touch more delicate than any man that she had ever been with and she’d never looked back.

Now it’s Michelle’s turn and Monica had enjoyed getting to know her over the course of their investigation into Charles’s affairs.  Long chats on the phone, and a few meetings at the family home while Charles conducted his business elsewhere,  they became friends,  now lovers.

Underneath that prudish exterior,  Michelle was quite a beautiful woman,  she just needed to be made to feel feminine, desired and appreciated.

Monica hoped that their friendship would give her the confidence to be the woman that she had always wanted to be.


I cribbed this for something that I’d written earlier,  I like the idea that although its sexual there’s nothing explicit.

I have a few lesbian friends,  one particular couple would appear to be the stereo-typical type.

You might thing that they are butch.

But they are not.  That’s a popular misconception,  it’s just that they hide their feminity,  strapping their boobs down and wearing clothing to hide themselves from the gaze of men.

The other couple are different,  one is exceptionally feminine and the other is quite “manly”,  from the outside,  the roles in their relationship are more typical  of what the majority of straight people would perceive to be in a male-female top-bottom connection.

I have no idea if that’s true or not.    What I do know is that people have much more depth than you or I can ever imagine and usually do not fit into conveniently stereo-typical pigeon-holes .. so you really never can tell!

With that in mind,  I liked the idea that the gorgeously feminine Monica that every man fancies is more complex than you’d first perceive.

Just had a thought,   both of the couples I mention above have been in two of the longest relationships that I know of and are deeply committed life partners that work as a team.

There has to be something in that don’t you think?