Silly Games … 

She’s in there banging pans
Louder than she needs to
Loud enough to disturb my slumbers
From the couch last night

Fuck off …  I think
Stay or go
Just get fucking on with it
And stop banging my pans

It’s part of the game
Should she stay or
Just fucking go!

Why is she cleaning my kitchen anyway?
Emptying the dishwasher at level 11
She’s somewhere between anger and goodbye
Between stupidity and remorse

Continue reading “Silly Games … “

And Then There Were None …

Merry Christmas to you!

I hope you’re day was as good as mine,  a house full,  8 for dinner and 4 other visitors,  a long drawn out meal, wine,  the new Beatles 1+ video playing in the background,  music of my early childhood and singing along with my dad.  

One of my earliest memories is being in a cafe in Govan with my dad,  eating sausage and chips while Hey Jude played the on the radio.  Early summer 1967 just after Celtic won The European Cup. 

Yesterday,  me and dad had a wee singalong … Moments like that you can’t buy … Priceless. 

After dinner all of us settled down to watch The Queen … Aye right!

We all settled down to watch the new king of Scottish comedy Kevin Bridges on DVD,   Hilarious outrageous crude rude and irreverent. 

Like Kevin says, I used to be Catholic but now I don’t give a fuck!

Today everyone went home,  my kids are at their mums for dinner and dad is back at his … The house is quiet,  but feels empty,  vacant  

And then there none …

Coincidentally is the name of the Agatha Christie novel being dramatised on BBC with the first episode starting shortly. 

I’m looking forward to it as I remember being scared watching an old black and white version when I was about six … Although I think it was probably our old to that was black and white not the film. 

The movie was renamed from the original title of Ten Little Indians as this was deemed as racist.      Although I can’t see why myself,  that’s like me being offended because someone called me Scottish. Don’t get it. 

Anyway,  like the movie,   the countdown is over,  the mystery has been revealed and Christmas is all over for another year.  

I love it!

The Opposite Of Tourettes? … #Humour

You know what Tourettes Syndrome (TS)  is .. right?

Well maybe you don’t know the detail of this neuropsychiatric disorder.

But like me,  you probably think of those poor individuals who can’t help utter random expletives at random moments.  However in fact,  these symptoms only affect a small number of cases and TS is more likely to be symptomised by tic’s or OCD or other random behaviour.

However the diagnosis of Tourettes is complex as these symptoms may be associated with other conditions and not TS related.

For the majority of us,  TS is when someone opens their gob in public and says something entirely inappropriate and carries on as if nothing happened.

I do it all the time.

Continue reading “The Opposite Of Tourettes? … #Humour”

Taking Control. @HiveHeating

It’s been seven hours and 15 days …

Since I had hive active heating installed by British Gas. ..  Yep I hear you yawn but stay with me!

I’m a dad living with my 18 year old daughter in a large detached home.  Quite often I come home from work and the house is so warm that it takes my breathe away the moment I open the front door.

This is most annoying during summer when my daughter wants a bath but has turned on the heating on upstairs and downstairs just so that she can have hot water.

As a consequence, my gas bills during summer were almost as expensive as last years cold winter.   It’s been the same for years but only recently I’ve bothered about it as the bills are outrageous.

Continue reading “Taking Control. @HiveHeating”