Friday – Drive In Saturday!

Hey .. Friday again ..

busy week .. it was my birthday, 21 again .. too many times to count now!

Lucky me,  was taken out for dinner twice, once by my partner in fun and once by the kids.

Feeling good,  loving my new juicer.  Pop oranges in the top and juice out the bottom .. magic!

Thanks kids!

I renewed my contract at my workplace .. another 3 months of the torture they pay me for!

But its friday and I’m on holiday .. yaaaay!!

A lazy day,  ex-works night out tonight, family birthday party for my god-daughter tomorrow and a night out in Edinburgh with my new partner in fun tomorrow night.

A Bowie tribute band at the Electric Circus,  I’ve saw them a dozen times now, great band, good fun night and looking forward to it as my partner in crime is a Bowie fan too,  just as well really ..

Let me put my arms around your head, gee it’s hot lets go to bed …

She’s uncertain if she likes him but she knows she really loves him ..

It’s a crash course for the ravers,  its a drive-in Saturday …. Yeah!

Looking forward to my drive in Saturday,

Electric Circus

Have fun ..



Amsterdam – Sin City Of Europe?

What a weekend .. again!!

I enjoyed my trip to Amsterdam, it’s not as cultured as London, Paris or Rome but a great fun city, particularly when you are with close friends and family.

But can it live up to it’s title as being the Sin City of Europe?

Possibly, I can’t really vouch for anywhere else, but there was all the decadence and seedinness you could want and all readily available for a small fee.

Not my cup of tea, but it is fascinating to watch how the other half live.

We were in the red light district on Saturday evening, like most tourists, we wandered around the windows, looking at the girls on display. Girls being a fairly loose word in some cases. There were women from 16 to 60 of all shapes and sizes, the young and beautiful to the old and well not-so-beautiful.

That is if you consider beauty as skn-deep. Who knows how deep these women are, what their circumstances are? Who are we to judge?

As an average working person, it is curious to witness this human circus. Our group of mixed company sat there in a bar across the road, laughing and joking, looking at the 3 young women in the windows across the road, watching the punters come and go and counting the frequency between the curtains opening and closing as business came then came again.

Why did one young women receive more business than the other 2 put together, for a laugh and some small bets, we timed the punters. In less than an hour th more popular woman had 5 punters and not one was there longer than 10 minutes. Additionally, when the punter was finished, she was barely opening her curtain before she was closing it again.

In that same duration, one of the other women had 2 punters and the other 1 .. so what made the first girl so popular?

Does that make the other girls feel inadequate? Are there any consequences?

I have no idea. I don’t have any answers.

But sitting there with my friends, joking about the situation, it made me feel sad for them.

I wondered, Are these women empowered? Are they controlling their own destiny?

If so, is this really their choice on how to live their life’s and maximise their earning potential?

I don’t think so. What wee girl who is brought up in a loving home wants to live like that?

It really is quite a sad indictment of the society we live in.

It’s also kind of sad that the surrounding area is full of tourists who condone this circus with their presence, including me.

In conclusion, Amsterdam really doesn’t have that much to offer to the tourist in terms of culture. The popular sites such as Anne Frank’s and The Van Gogh museum can be seen in a day. So the Red Light District is a huge draw for those looking to see how the other half live.

With hindsight, although I had a great time with my friends, apart from that few hours overlooking the red light zone, we could have been anywhere.

I can’t see myself going back anytime soon.

Friday – Amsterdam Birthday Date!‏

Hello to you!!

By the time you are reading this .. my flight will just be touching down in Amsterdam

I wrote this on Thursday lunchtime and it’s scheduled to publish on Friday at touchdown time,  isn’t that clever?

I’ve been really looking forward to this weekend,  there are 10 of us flying out and 2 others meetings us over there.

A group of family and friends away for a fun weekend,  museums,  galleries, shopping and lots of food, drink and chat.

Friday,  we’re just going around the bars and see where things take us.    No doubts that we’ll end up round at the red light area for a giggle.

Saturday,  going to the Van Gogh museum and Anne Frank’s house,  I’ve been there on a few occasions,  it is quite a moving experience and difficult imagine how  those poor people survived  hiding there for 4 years before they were betrayed and sent to the concentration camps.

How any human being can justify doing that to another?    It defeats me.

On Sunday we’re booked for Moeders ( Mothers ) restuarant and we all have pics of our mums ready to put up on the wall.

A celebration of mums,  isn’t that a great idea?

I’m really looking forward to this, it’s my birthday next week and although this isn’t part of that,  well not that I’m aware of,  I’m just looking forward to spending time with people who matter to me.

Op uw gezondheid


PS – My new romance is still going strong,  another date last night,   of course as this won’t be published until tomorrow,  the date hasn’t actually happened yet.    So I may already have been dumped!!    🙂

We don’t have any big plans,   just going for a bite to eat and a chat,  she has her kids and I have my daughter so we will both be clock watching.  But I hope we enjoy ourselves as much as last weekend.

Part 14.1 – Dreams.

Do you hear what I’m saying gotta say how I feel
I can’t believe you’re here but I know that you’re real
I know what I want and baby it’s you
I can’t deny my feelings because they are true

Gabrielle – Dreams

I love the soft warmth of the water as it envelopes me, it seems to caress me, kissing me everywhere simultaneously.

The bath is big enough for two,  there’s lots of room to stretch when you’re alone. It was part of the design of the extension. A large en-suite and a bath almost the size of a double bed.

It’s late and the room is dark but seems to glow from the candles placed all around the bath, their scent a heady mix of jasmine, cinnamon and petiole. I love that scent, it takes me back to my childhood holidays in the country and the first boy I ever kissed. .

I wonder where he is now, if he made it through medical school and if he ever remembers those summer nights hiding from our parents and lying in the long grass overlooking Paignton shore.

For a moment, I’m back there, kissing him, running my hands through his long dark curls as his arms surround me, then fighting him away when he pushed his luck a little too far and crossed my limits.

Now and again I didn’t push him away, well not right away. It felt far too delicious to stop him and I was enjoying his soft kisses to my neck while he tried to slip his hand inside my bra. I knew he was trying it on but only part of me wanted to push him away. I didn’t want to stop those sweet kisses or his boyish fumbles. Not then, not now, not yet.

Those were different days, a bygone era where my curiosity as a young woman collided with the enforced morality of an all girl Catholic education.

Boys were to be avoided at all costs. Well so they said, but that just seemed to make them even more interesting.

Now those kisses come with a different manly appeal as my lover dries my skin. I stand naked before him as he caresses me with warm towels, drying me and kissing me everywhere he touches as he dries. His lips lingering for moments with every kiss and longer where he knows his lips will have the desired effect.

I guess boys need to learn too, those rushed fumbles of my first lover were so naive and hopeless compared with the subtle touch of my new lover.

Back then at the holiday club, hiding from my parents and my younger sister. Feeling brave and pretending to be grown up as we drank the cider that he’d bribed his elder brother to buy.

It was the last night of our holidays and our last night together. Somehow It just felt so right to let him make love to me, pulling him closer, feeling him push inside me. His breathing hard in my ear as his thrusts became more urgent.

His lustful cries as he came inside me. Feeling his weight shift and his head on my shoulder as he breathily kissed my ear telling me he loved me. Smiling and knowing that although he wasn’t completely lying, he wasn’t in love either.  Then kissing him, holding him close and smiling as I knew I was no longer a child.

He walked me back to my chalet, kissing at the end of the block, his hand sliding up inside my t-shirt to feel my breasts through my bra. I could feel his hardness against me and I knew he wanted more but it really was time to go.

We did have some contact afterwards. Some letters and the occasional phone-call but he was at university and I was at school and we lived so far apart. I don’t think of him often but when I do, I always smile. I hope his life turned out the way he wanted.

With hindsight, his energy was more impressive than his stamina, technique or consideration. But back in that field, I had wanted him, holding him close to me, smiling and knowing that my life would never be the same.

Now in the bathroom, I’m almost dry and his eyes hold mine as he helps me step out of the bath and leads me to the bed, kissing me then laying me down. His hands and tongue are everywhere, squeezing and kissing my breasts then moving their focus between my thighs as I hold his hair, pushing him towards me.

I’m smiling now, sleepily touching myself, feeling the intensity grow as I reach my climax. I’m thinking about my new man, his tender kisses and how he loves to pleasure me, My latest lover is so different to my first or to any other lover that I’ve had since.

I think I am probably the same, it’s all part of growing up, growing as a person, putting other people before yourself. But conveying your needs too and not accepting less than you deserve.

I think he understands that, I’ve no doubts that he does as he always makes the effort.

He’s a decent man. He’s been around the block, made his mistakes and learned from them. I’ve made mine too. It’s true what they say, what doesn’t kill you make you stronger.

I wish he was here right now beside me, lying here, kissing my breasts and touching me. His touch delicate and light and so at odds with his physical strength.

But it’s more than that, I want him for him, I want to hold him and talk to him, I want to listen to his stories and tell him mine. I want to laugh with him and talk about life and music and all the things we would like to do.



Note to readers :-

This chapter is adding more depth to the story between existing chapters 14 and 15

13 – She’s wishing she hadn’t made one remark and is assessing what she wants from the relationship.

14 – He can’t sleep, agonising if she cares about him as much as he cares about her.

15 – He calls her in the morning for serious chat, but she turns his mind around

The new chapter 14.1 fits in there and is her fantasising about him and a comparison with her past and deciding to take the relationship forward to another level, which she alludes to in part 15.

She’s already done her agonising about moving the relationship forward. So it was written as a contrast between him agonising and her fantasising. It’s based on my experience, that you can never really tell whats going on in someones head in a relationship, you may think they want out, when really they want in, you have to communicate.

Monday – Just Like Fred Astaire!

Doctor, what is happening to me?
Palpitations, my mind is diseased
Even my vision is impaired
I’m losing my hair
Cos when I hold her in my arms
I feel like Fred Astiare

As you might guess, my weekend was pretty good, better than good, actually it was superb.

Friday night with my best mate watching some Bowie tribute band and singing evey word, apart from Under Pressure which is never a Bowie song and is total pants. As is everything after Scary Monsters until his latest album which is excellent and so reminiscent of his Berlin period.

But Saturday .. oh wow .. where to begin!!

Saturday … my new partner in fun and I arrived at Edinburgh in the early afternoon. Chatting and laughing on the train like over-excited schoolchildren. We dumped our cases at the hotel. Then went for a late lunch early dinner at The Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, a short waslk from the hotel and a great pub for food and chat.

We wanted to check out the lay of the land for going to The Rocky Horror Show at The Playhouse later that evening.

Dinner and a few drinks later, we were back in the room time to get ready for the evenings performance,

Hhhhhmmmm . evenings performance .. lets just leave it at that.

I think we looked fantastic, her dressed in a French Maid outfit and me as Doctor Frank N Furter, full make-up, basque, stockings …heels. My modesty covered with the surgeons gown and rubber gloves .. gorgeous!!!

We did look a fine sight as we walked from the hotel to the venue, where many similarly adorned creatures were out for a night of fun.

The show was everything I hoped it would be, great fun and lots of laughs. I’ve booked the Glasgow show in August already.

Afterwards in CC Blooms, the gay club next door, we just fitted in with all the other people dressed for the night, whether they were at the show or not.

Dancing til god knows when then limping home in my heels …

Confession time .. I had to take them off and walk back along York Place in my stockinged soles!

How do you girls walk in those things? 🙂

What a brilliant night.

You won’t be surprised to hear that both of were exhausted last night. Home, back into parent-mode, early nights.

I am a happy bhoy!

I believe in happiness
I believe in love
I believe she fell to earth
from somewhere high above
I believe in Hollywood
Don’t believe that love must bring despair
Cos when I hold her in my arms
I feel like Fred Astaire

This has to be one my favourite James songs .. I can’t wait to see them later this year at the Glasgow SEC, this clip is from the Glasgow Royal Concert Hall 2 years ago, fantastic show and if you look very closely I’m in there somewhere.

Friday – I’m Just A Sweet Transvestite!

Friday Again – Whoop-Whoo!!

It’s been a fantastic week so far.

Usually at this point, I look forward to the weekend, but a few quick updates first, family, friends, dating and dancing.

My daughter Claire is a wee star. and is back to her full health.

My daughter Laura changed her mind on the car, she wants an Astra rather than a Corsa and is a real pain in the ass, but she’s my pain in the ass.

My son Steven has applied to join the police and is going back to university for his masters if that doesn’t work out.

Last night was my uncle Eddie’s, 70th birthday party, a big family party, all my aunties and uncles at my dads club. My aunties up doing the slosh and my uncles telling stories then up singing.

I was sitting with my brothers and wifes and slagging each other off as usual.

It was a great night .. you just can’t buy that.

So …. back to the dating … whats the news?

Well first of all, earlier this week I wrote a new part to my dating story. I’ve been reviewing and editing adding in new chapters where I felt something was missing. This chapter was adding more depth to the story between exisintg chapters 14 and 15

13 – She’s wishing she hadn’t made one remark and is assessing what she wants from the relationship.
14 – He can’t sleep, agonising if she cares about him as much as he likes her.
15 – He calls her in the morning for serious chat, but she turns his mind around

The new chapter 14.1 was a fantasy of hers, she is fantasising about him. She’s already done her agonising about moving the relationship forward. So it was written as a contrast between him agonising and her fantasising. It’s based on my experience, that you can never really tell whats going on in someones head in a relationship, you may think they want out, when really they want in, you have to talk.

The chapter is without doubt the darkest thing I’ve ever written, it would take the book to a new level verging on controversial. I’ve really swithered about publising it on here or elsewhere. That in itself tells you something.

I sent the chapter out to a few people who know me to varying degrees, one of whom I’ve known on the most intimate level for years,

So although all of the feedback was very positive, a few wows etc. I don’t think I could publish as my close friend says that this is so not me. Even although its written from her point of view as her darkest fantasy and feeds in later at chapters 18 and 19 of the book.

Was there any need to mention that? Maybe not, but this is my diary, my scratchpad of ideas and thoughts on life. Writing is such a cathartic process. I’m going to rewrite the chapter, a different fantasy, not as dark. Maybe save the darker stuff for somewhere else.

So back to the dating, some good news, I’ve met someone really nice, nice isn’t the word .. that a pale insipid apology of a word.

Rephrase – I’ve met someone who is beautiful, bright, intelligent and a joy to be with.

Isn’t she lucky meeting me? 🙂

Okay, so its early days, a coffee date, a couple of drinks, some late night phone calls.

We’re getting on like a house on fire. Hhmmm …thats not sounding like a happy ending!

We are getting on really well, it’s early days.

So how come, we are both stilll making visits to POF?

Are we keeping our options open? Chatting to friends that we’ve never met? Fellow travellers who have too much time on their own?

But Is that not just wrong? That is if you want to move a relationship forward?

As I said, its early days, no lines have been crossed or promises made, so why not?

But as she has said if we’re off, then we’re both off .. thats only fair, so watch this space.

She will be watching this space too .. for some strange reason, she seems to enjoy my gibbering.

The weekend .. aaah the weekend.

Tonight, meeting my best pal and going to see Absolute Bowie, a Bowie Tribute band at The Renfrew Ferry, I’ve saw them before and they are fab, highly recommended. If you like Bowie, go see them.

Tomorrow night – my new found beautiful equal and I are going to The Rocky Horror Show at the Edinburgh Playhouse.

It is certain to be good fun, I am so looking forward to this.

Whatever you are doing .. enjoy yourself, but I bet you won’t be having as much fun as me!!

I’m just a sweet transvestite!!


Keeping The Balance Right?

A good friend of mine sent me the following video, have a look, isn’t it inspirational?

Not just the words. His voice, the images and the music make it even more resonant.

Modern day philosophy at it’s best.

I’ll be making sure my kids watch it.

Funny enough I was at Claires one-on-one parents night last night, assessing her choices for the future, what she wants to do, what highers she needs, her prelim results and her progress along that route. This was different to last weeks meeting which was more about what the school does for the kids in 5th and 6th year than for Claire specifcally.

For her chose profession of medicine .. she needs at least 5 straight A’ her highers . fortunately she’s a wee worker, has a fantastic school and is currenly on target, but it could all go pear shape on the day.

Watching the video, I asked myself, is it wrong to encourage Claire to go down the medicine route?

To encourage her become a clone, trapped in the world of compliance alluded to in that video?

Yes and no.

Yes .. it would be undoubtedly wrong to manufacture kids and push them into mind-numbing careers. Working in an office, doing reports or accounts or some other shit has to be one of the most mind-numbing experiences in the world.

But No .. what we have to do is educate them to the best standard that we can provide, direct them to a career of their choosing which they think they will enjoy, that will be rewarding both in itself and provide the financial rewards that allows them to have a more enriching life than working in some mindless role.

The video is very inspirational, but as it says, living as a painter/poet/writer doesn’t pay.

Unfortunately we all need to make a living .. FACT.

We need food and comfort and all the necessities, after that we go and have fun and do exactly what we please.

Hopefully you have a career which pays well, that covers your needs, provides for the future and leaves some cash to spend today.

If like me, you’re fortunate enough, to have reached that zenith, then good for you, you’ve made it, enjoy yourself and the life you’ve created.

Currently. I see my job in life as making sure my kids have a better start in life than I did, after that it’s up to them.

Hopefully we/our children make a good living and then go live the life we/they choose.

Life is a balance, looking after our kids future, looking after ourselves, having fun.

Keep the balance right and life is good.


Monday – Breaking Bad and Buying Cars

Hello, Monday again!!

Another busy weekend .. I was so shattered last night that I was sleeping at the back of 9, been up since 4 this morning, drinking tea, playing my keyboard with the headphones in and watching Netflix.

Friday .. excellent show .. Priscilla Queen Of The Desert was fab .. just good fun.

I was up on my feet dancing to all those old 80s classics again .. . love it.

The rest of the weekend, spent with family .. pretty good.

Saturday with my dad, set him up with my Netflix account .. then came across a series called Breaking Bad totally by accident.

It’s a darkly funny American drama series, quite controversially set in the drugs wolrd where the main character, a brilliant, dying, financially struggling chemistry teacher becomes involved in the manufacture of Meth Anphetamine to fund his treatment for Lung Cancer and hence leave his limited funds to support his pregnant wife when he goes.

The journey of the main character from hen-pecked, provider to unwilling druglord is rivetting, but there are many other sub-plots, his disabled son, his over-powering wife, her obnoxious sister who happens to be a doctor, her husband a seedy. stupid DEA agent, the drugs characters, the business-educated mexican pusher, the over-privileged failed middle-class users.

If I’d read the above, then I would have flipped on to the next show .. but it really is very good, funny, sleazy at times and exceptionally clever as it plays one moral dilemma off against another and all the time we find ourselves rooting for the dweeby chemistry teacher as his world falls apart and he careers from one crisis to the next, even although he is undoubtedly in the wrong.

I’ver now watched the first 5 episodes, the second episode and the bath scene is cringeably classic, even Tarantino didn’t go this gory in the Bonny Dilemma in Pulp Fiction. Not that there’s actually much to see, it’s eyes closed but still humerous.

The show has been running since 2008 and is now in its 6th series, Okay I don’t watch a lot of tv, but I haven’t even saw this advertised.

If you have Netflix, have a look.

Sunday – car shopping with Laura, ideally she wants a 1.2 Vauxhall Corsa .. so we ent to Arnolds.

We looked at a few options including a 5k, 5 year old car with 53k miles, 1k down and payments of 110pm over 4 years. The won’t take her old car as a dposit on this one as its got a bit of a history.

Compare this with a brand new car of similar spec, 8.5k, they will take her old scrapper as a trade-in for 600, again 1k down and payments of 140pm over 5 years.

It’s a no-brainer really.

Crazy world when buying a new car, makes more economic dense than buying a used car. It’s all in the interest rates on offer.

So I went home with a happy girl, who can’t wait to pick up her brand new Corsa later this week.

But did she treat me to a chinese for paying the deposit and the first year until she’s qualified and working as s nurse.

Did she heck!


ps – New David Bowie album downloaded from iTunes, loving it so far, sounds like something between the albums Heroes and Scarey Monsters.

Friday – I Will Survive!

Hey .. Friday again!

It’s been a bit of a week, my daughter Claire ill, my other daughter Laura coming over to help out and then being upset because her car broke down. My ex-wife on the sauce and being her mad self, the sale of the matrimonial home finally going through today after a short delay.

All that and trying to work, do parents nights and do my company tax returns for the end of the year.

Ask a busy man!

So .. Claire is much better today, she is still off school, no results back re the Glandular Fever, but she has some colour in her face and she’s on her feet again and thats all that matters.

Her mum called me at 7am this morning, going on about a dental appointment, I spoke to Claire about it before I left work, she doesn’t have a dental apointment. Her mum is losing the plot .. I feel sad for her. I’d like to help or or get her help, she needs it.

But I’m at a loss on what to do and is it my job anyway?

Not really, but you can’t leave another soul in such pain, particularly not someone that you have 3 kids with.

Bit of a dilemma.

Claire, Laura and I are meant to be meeting with my aunt, cousin and kids s in Edinburgh tonight to see Priscilla Queen Of The Dessert.

Not sure if its a good diea but she wants to go. Just called home .. we are good to go.

It’s been great to have Laura over, of course she’s delighted that we are going car shopping for her at the weekend.

Personally I’ll just be glad to sit down with a beer at some point and kiss this week good-bye.

But then I always believe, that life does through you problems, its how you deal with them that’s important.

However your week has been I hope its been better than mine.

Tonight, Priscilla, the girls loved this on Comic Relief, so lets do it and have some fun.

It’s been a shit week but as Priscilla says .. I will Survive.

Wish I was wearing my sparkly dress!! 🙂