Unfinished Business – Prologue

When was the last time you fucked an airline hostess?

Doctor? Nurse? Barmaid? Waitress? Teacher? Police Officer?

Do you and your mates have a trophy list?

Like kids collect cards of their favourite football players?

Do you collect their underwear and keep it in a drawer underneath your bed?

Do you talk about these women in the pub, compare notes, discuss the intimacies of what you did with who?

Did you?

Have you?

Well you ought to fucking grow up.

Women, regardless of their career aren’t toys to be collected.

Personally I like to keep my memories in my head, those treasured thoughts of what I did with whom, when, where, what we ate, where we went, what music we liked.

But thats really none of of your business.

Somehow these private thoughts have never lost their clarity and sometimes all it takes is a piece of music or the scent of a particular perfume to take me back to some other place and some other time.

Still it’s not every day you get to fuck an airline hostess,

Marie arrived straight from her shift, 7 day long haul to Barbados, most of the time her own except for a day spent on an internal shuttle to Greneda and back.

She said that she was looking forward to seeing me,  even although most of her texts had been attempts to make me jealous as she lay by the pool, or that she was out for the evening, dancing with her friends and colleagues.

The jealousy was working!

As arranged, she sent me a text from the airport letting me know that she was back in the country and on the way.

I’d had a sense of anticipation all day,  an excitement rushing through my veins,  I couldn’t wait to see her.

I had an empty house and spent most of the day preparing for the night ahead,  cleaning, hovering, changing sheets.

As the time of her arrival became closer,  I turned the lights down low,  her choice of music playing,  the fizz was already on chill.

I wanted it to be good for her,  I wanted her to feel special and desired.  I wanted her to come again.

When her text arrived I ran her bath,  but 15 minutes later as she arrived dressed in her uniform like a goddess from an airline commercial the bath was forgotten.

It was still dark at 5am as she dressed to go home,  she liked to be there for her daughter waking up.

She was looking around the room, picking up discarded clothes and dropping them on the bed  “Have you seen my thong?”

I shook my head “I’m sure it’ll turn up” hoping she didn’t see my smile in the darkness.

But I was a different guy back then.

Image borrowed from Virgin Airlines,  how hot do these girls look?

The Lion, the Judge and the Dentist! #humour #perspective

it’s curious how people react isn’t it?

The distinction between being legally right and morally wrong is sometimes blurred,  but as a person you generally know when you are doing wrong and what other people would find unacceptable.

Take this dentist  Walter Palmer who killed Cecil the friendly Lion and gets a deserved roasting ( in my opinion ) after he and his fellow poachers lured the animal outwith its National Park home.

Where’s the crime here?

Apparently the crime isn’t that he killed the lion,  its that they deliberately lured it from its place of safety and then killed it.

Does that make it any less reprehensible?

Should the crime not be wanting to kill such a beautiful creature at all?

What I struggle to believe is why would anyone pay 50 grand to kill a lion?

What kind of rich psycho are you Walter?

Too much money,  not enough morals,  what else does this fucker get up to?

Heres a question .. so Walter shot a lion, what difference would it make if he shot a cow or sheep?

Are we discrimating?   Of course we are.

So if there are lesser animals .. are there lesser people too?   ( whole other story there!! )

On social media,  Walter is being “slaughtered” forcing his dental practice to close.

Which I’m personally delighted about,   a small penalty in my opinion,  some people,  usually arrogant wealthy dicks like him just need a right good kicking to show them how the world works and what is not acceptable to the majority of society.

But that would be legally and morally wrong  .. right?

Compare and contrast with the offences of Lord Sewel,  allegedly caught with hookers and snortng cocaine.

Both legally and morally wrong?

Most people including myself would probably agree

This opens a few questions ..

Continue reading “The Lion, the Judge and the Dentist! #humour #perspective”

Unfinished Business – Pt2

The moment that i came through the door of the restaurant, I knew that it was him.

He was mid conversation and side-on to my viewpoint, but he hadn’t changed at all in the two years since I’d last seen him.

Two years since our short lived relationship ended,  it probably only lasted six months in total and we only got together once per week at most,  but it was great while it lasted.

Incredible to think that it was two years since I’d  spent a night of fun and frolics at his,  making love,  laughing and chatting half the night.   But then for some reason,  that I can’t explain, our circumstances, both of us having busy life’s,   it just never happened again.

There was no big fall-out,  no arguments or tears, our emails and calls just dried up and stopped apart from the odd email every few months,  then there would be some communication back and forth but there never seemed to be the desire to see each other again.

Even although two years puts a lot of water under the bridge, It was fairly predictable that our paths would cross sooner or later.

We both enjoyed the same music, the same bars,  it was a matter of when not if.

When it happened,  a Sunday afternoon in May,  the location was somewhere we had went together frequently,  The Oak Tree Inn at Balmaha was a particular favourite after a walk in the Loch Lomond area.

From first glance, I could tell that this was his new girlfriend and his daughter from the pictures that I’ve seen of her over the years.

They were looking at the menu and sharing a joke,  it was obvious that they are close.  I doubt that this is the first time that his daughter has met his new girlfriend.

How did I feel?
Continue reading “Unfinished Business – Pt2”

Modern Day Neanderthals? #Football #Perspective

I happened to came acoss the following page about the Sentilese tribe who live on the North Sentinel Island somewhere in the middle of the Indian Ocean.

This tribe are one of the last Stone Age cultures in the world.  They are highly aggressive and will kill anyone who attempts to come ashore.

Following the Tsunami around 10 years ago,  the Indian govenment who fomally own the island sent a helicopter to investigate and ensure that the island wasn’t damaged,   however when the helicopter arrived at the island it could not land due to a barage of spears, stones and arrows.

I like that there are primitive groups out there who refuse to be part of  the “civilised” world.

It’s just a shame that some of these Neanderthals live among the rest of us!  


How ironically despicable that this animal is a director with the World Human Rights Forum.

Read more on Sentinel Island


Unfinished Business – Pt1

He  hadn’t seen Marie in 10 years,  apart from a brief awkward conversation sitting in a restaurant with his daughter and his partner of the time.

If the truth be told, back then, they still had occasional emails,  was it because they had so much in common?

Was that the only reason that they retained contact?

Or was it because there was an attraction and unfinished business between them?

Even although there had been a few years since they had last seen each there hadn’t been a fallout or angry parting words.

So where was the harm in an occasional innocent friendly conversation?

Continue reading “Unfinished Business – Pt1”

The 4am Pee and Avoiding the Cold Porcelain Cuddle … #humour

Let me set the scene .. you wake up during the night with your good lady beside you.  its dark,  but you really desperately need to pee.

At this point most guys would wander in to the loo and either ..

A – Turn the light on so that they don’t miss the bowl

B – Leave the light off and hope their aim is good

I’d like to think that most will lift the seat before doing the necessary.

And there’s the problem ..

When the lady of the house goes for her bleary-eyed pee.

She wanders in to the loo in darkness,  takes her seat,  only to be rudely awakened by the cold wet feel of porcelain on her butt rather than a relatively cosy plastic or wooden seat.

You’ve heard it all before,  girls complaining about guys leaving the seat up.

And .. you’ve heard guys respond .. if its up just put the fucker down.


In theory yes, but not at some random time during the night when you’re still half asleep and your bladder is telling you to get up or its going to take matters into its own hands.

Heres the solution ..

Continue reading “The 4am Pee and Avoiding the Cold Porcelain Cuddle … #humour”

Train Stories – Habits? #Humour #Perspective

He’s dressed very smartly,  elegantly even,  casual business style,  open neck shirt,   fitted navy blue jacket which looks as it’s part of a suit,  blue chino trousers and the ubiqitious tan brogues that are popuar with all men of a certain age and style,  lending a sense of purpose despite the otherwise casual look.

He’s sitting diagonally opposite me in the 4 person booth heading towards Edinburgh,  age 38, slim,  recently cut and styled dark hair.

If I was a girl,  I’d say he’s quite handsome.

That’s because he is quite handsome and you don’t have to be a girl to say it .. okay!!

I wonder if the young woman currently sleeping and half leaning against me would think the same?

Continue reading “Train Stories – Habits? #Humour #Perspective”

Nothing important …

We walked along a while
Like we were old companions
But I could feel the gap between us
Yawning like a canyon
She with her church and code
Her extravagant beliefs
Me a creature of the road
A child of dust and grief


how are you?

Wherever you are, whoever you are,  I hope all well in your world.

Midnight here,  I”ve had a busy weekend of work and domestic duties ..

Yes work, Friday till midnight,  Saturday night and Sunday but that was cancelled as what was supposed to work didn’t.

Glad that it’s nothing to do with me as someone is going to get their arse kicked big style tomorrow.

I’m taking no joy from that .. that would be wrong.

But the person involved said they had tested this when quite clearly they hadn’t.

I’m still claiming the time tho .. gave up my weekend for it!

No concerts or parties this weekend for a change.

Just a quiet weekend, had all three kids for dinner tonight and a good catchup with my boy.

Midnight and 30 minutes and I can’t sleep,  even although I’m tired.

No doubts I’ll be fecked in the morning!

night night


Oh yeah, lost that half stone I wanted to lose,  feeling good about it .. when my breeks were tight and I was bursting out a 34 and almost needing a 36 inch waist something had to change.

11 weeks to go to The Great Scottish Run .. considering signing up for it ..   hmmm … maybe!  🙂

Been playing this track by The Waterboys and looking forward to seeing them in Edinburgh this August.