Facebook Stalkers!

David Bowie

4am and wide awake, browsing the web and checking social media.

A cousin of mine shared the following potentially scary post –

This is creepy. Go to your Facebook account settings, then blocking, then block users, and type in “following me” without the quotes into the text box then hit the “block” button.

You will find 15-20 or more people

FOLLOWING YOU that you do not know! I just blocked about 17 accounts from random Middle Eastern and Asian countries that were following me, who I do not know. You have to block them one at a time.

Check your followers and tell your friends and family to check theirs as well. Feel free to share this or copy/paste.

This is not a joke. How many foreign “followers” did you have?

Try it yourself. You’ll be surprised.

At first I was a bit concerned, I followed the instructions above and sure enough there were all sorts of weird foreigners following me.

But why? .. I thought.

So I checked a few of them out from different parts of the world.

All strangers with no reason to follow me.

Then it clicked that it was a hoax or someone was being really stupid.

Here’s why!

It’s a hoax. FB doesn’t work like that as there is no “following me” keyword built into the system.

Try doing the same search only using “following”. You’ll probably get one user with name “following the lights”.

Now do the “following me” again and look at the list of names.

They all have “me” in them.

These people are not following you.

Basically you just did a name search and they happen to be first on the list.

If you blocked them , then searched again, you’d have another list of “me”‘s.

Keep blocking and searching. You’ll be there a long long time.

And nobody is that popular! 🙂

It’s a hoax, a wind up or originally posted by someone who doesn’t know anything about search systems.

A bit fit? #fitbit

So ..  it was my birthday last week.  My kids bought me a Fitbit Blaze   Basically a smart watch which monitors various aspects of your health and wellbeing.

I’ve got to tell you I was somewhat cynical to the claims made in its reviews of accuracy and functionality.

But hey I was born cynical!
However ..  I’m happy to report that after a week of wearing my device, it’s my new favourite toy.

I’ve found that it accurately monitors the number of steps, floors climbed, daily exercise routine or a lack of.

A personal highlight is that it produces an accurate assessment of my sleep pattern.  See screenshot above.

My sleep pattern is pretty awful, prior to starting this new job I’d be up until 1am most nights or sleeping at 10 then awake at 4.     That may still be the case as I need to start waking up at 630 and out at 730am and have been tired most nights.

But this records the sleep I’m getting.   Friday night and I’m out at 1030 and get over 7 hours sleep.  I’m amazed at that.

The best thing I’ve found though is that the Fitbit isn’t just a monitoring tool but is also a motivational tool.  Continue reading “A bit fit? #fitbit”

A Band Of Angels?

A band?

Naah … You’re having a laugh mate!

His argument is that a band is any group of musicians with 3 members or more and there happens to be 4 of us sitting in my house trying to put a few tunes together.

But it’s that definition of musician which is a bit of an issue!

Okay,  I’m downplaying it a bit,  but we aren’t really a band,  more a collection of loosely-coupled pals who would like to do better than we are at the moment.

Isn’t that the same for every “band”?

Not that we want fame or fortune,  not even on the horizon or in my most secret dreams to imagine myself playing to an adoring audience.

I just like being able to play a few tunes.

We started off last year as what can only be described as a rabble,  a collection of guys trying to play the same tune in the same key and keep time.

It isn’t as easy as it first appears.

All i needs it for one guy to be out of time,  or have forgot to adjust the capo  on his guitar so that he is playing in a different key and it sounds hellish.

What you have to learn is that someone has to lead,  keep the central timing and others need to fall behind and play rhythm or lead,   not all playing the same thing at the same time.

Individually,  the guys are all talented,  to one degree or other.

But what I’ve learned is that individual talent isn’t enough when you play together.   You have to be prepared to take a back seat and let the other guys take the lead.

But that has to be reciprocated or it falls apart.

The problem with any group of people is pleasing everyone,   thats were most bands fall apart with “musical differences” .. that could be that you want to play Simon and Garfunkel and I want to play Stone Roses.

There have been times when the journey has been tough,  I personally don’t see the point in playing out-dated crap like “The Letter”, “Homeward Bound” or “The Streets Of London” .. just because its all that one of the other guys knows how to play.

It’s a group thing,  you play to your strengths,  music you like and what you think your market is and will get a positive response from a mixed crowd.  If someone doesn’t shape up then they need to ship out.   Thats really up to them.

But its coming together and we have another wee charity gig coming up.

Thats going to be a hoot,   fortunately its a few months away yet so there’s lots of time to practice and most importantly in my book agree on the arrangements of who is playing which part, without that,  its a nightmare and I’m out.

My backing piano track for Angels.



Game Of Thrones – Brothers, Sisters, Lovers?

Don’t know about you,  but I’m loving this new series of Game Of Thrones. 

Last night Jon was reunited with his sister Sansa at The Wall,  then threatened by Ramsay Bolton to hand her back to his evil control. 

In the Iron Islands,  Theon who helped Sansa escape from Ramsay is reunited with his sister Yara. 

Yara,  not the shrinking violet reminds Theon that she has already been sent his private parts by Ramsay when he tortured and broke Theon. 

At Kings Lamding that incestous brother and sister Cercei and Jaime Lannister are courting the Tyrell’s assistance for their revenge against the High Sparrow. 

The Tyrells are initially hostile to this approach but share a common loathing for the Sparrow religious sect who are currently holding the queen Margaery Tyrell wife of King Tommen Lannister. 

Meanwhile in the captivity of the High Sparrow,  Margaery is reunited with her brother Loras in his cell,  offering him hope when all seems lost. 

In another part of the world,  Daenerys is captured by the Dothraki,  held within the Temple of Dosh Kaleen,  the home of the widows of the Khals( Dothraki Kings) until her fate is decided. 

She is reunited with lover Daario and longtime advisor Loras who clearly has a lot of affection for her. 

Does Loras want to be her lover or does he love her as a father truly loves his daughter and wants nothing but the best for her? 

Last nights ending was fantastic,  Daenerys looking vulnerable, helpless yet determined in the face of her enemy. 

It was only going to go one way. 

Loved it. 

On a personal note,  have you ever met anyone named Ramsay that you like?

I’ve met two people called Ramsay in real life,  not as bad as the fictional one above,  but both arrogant self serving little pricks that if I wasn’t so civilised I’d liked to have kicked square in the balls. 

I’m looking forward to the fictional Ramsay getting his comeuppance.

Wouldn’t it be great if it was Theon who gets his revenge? 

Take my advice and never trust anyone called Ramsay. 

Game Of Thrones Returns!


After much anticipation and speculation, Game Of Thrones returns to tv in the UK this evening. 

Actually it returned at 2am this morning, simultaneously broadcast with the first screening in the USA. 

But what kinda saddo stays up for that on a school night?

Not me!

But I did think about it for a nanosecond. 

I was up bright and breezy at 630 and watched before I went to work. 

Was it worth the wait?


Did it answer any big questions? Is Jon Snow alive or dead?

No, it answered nothing and kept us guessing, but isn’t that what part one was always going to do?

I don’t want to spoil it for anyone but be prepared for a few surprises. 

One of them reminded me of a scene from The Shining.  

You’ll know it when you see it. 

Train Stories – Battles?


So .. I’m on my usual 1707 from Argyll street to Cambuslang.  

A ten minute journey and the trains packed. 

There’s one seat left, rear facing and I grab it. But as I do, I notice the guy sitting in the adjacent seat is playing the territory game.  

He’s not the tallest guy but he’s broad. His shoulders take up the full seat, but it’s his elbow and knee position that are positioned to prevent anyone sitting in the seat next to him. 

His legs are wide and his elbows are out, infringing on the space of the adjacent seat .. ie mine. 

Now convention, manners, common courtesy dictate that you at least try to accommodate your fellow passenger, making some effort to pull your legs in, at least letting your them take the space that’s theirs. 

But not this guy!

Not even when I caught his eye as I sat down and said excuse me, that seemed to make him all the more determined to stand his ground.  

So I’ve sat down and typed this, ignoring him completely. 

Well as completely as you can with an elbow protruding towards your chest!  

My elbow is on top of his protecting myself. I’m sure he can feel the pressure as much as I can.  

A battle of wills ensues in a silent war of attrition. 

I love it. 

Now he is using the wall of the carriage to push against me.  

I’m not really pushing against him just making a point of sitting within my space. 

I’m still typing, headphones on, head slightly nodding with the music, a smile on my face. 

But its fake, purely for show, the look of I’m not bothered, I haven’t noticed you pushing me .. Honest!

But I’m ready to go to battle ..  

Or I would be if I was that bothered about it, I’m just enjoying the battle of wills. 

This guy is a dick, all he had to do was pull his knees and elbows in and avoid any conflict. 

It’s my stop in a few minutes ..

I wonder if the guy will get off at the same stop. 

If a more physical battle will ensue?

Will I leave without saying a word?

Maybe give him a knowing smile?

Or should I accidentally on purpose stand on his toes then apologise profusely?

Just home from work,  as I open the door,  the talking heads are blasting.  

My daughter making dinner,  a cup of tea ready for me.  

I wonder what she wants?  🙂

Be Like Felix …

This is Felix. 

Felix can fly at fantastic speeds. 

But only in a downward direction.  

Felix is slightly mad. 

He does crazy things because he wants to know what it’s like. 

Just because they’re there. 

Felix lives life to the full. 

Be like Felix .. Except for being totally mental.

Hardly topical as this was released one year ago. But still wow. 

The Sportsmans Threesome?

I met an older lady in a bar last night,   She was about 60 years old but still very attractive.  She clearly looked after herself,  great figure,  high cheekbones, classically styled long blonde hair.

We chatted for a while and she flirted with me,  holding my arm and telling me how handsome I was.

I thought she wasn’t too bad looking herself and wondered if she had a really hot daughter.

After a couple of drinks she asked me if I’d ever had a “Sportsmans threesome”?

I’d never heard the expression before so I asked her to elaborate.

She explained with a smile,  that it’s a mother and daughter threesome.

Wow .. Though I,  if her daughter looks as good as she does then that would be amazing.

A couple of drinks later, she leaned in closer and whispered in my ear “tonight’s your lucky night”

Fantastic,  I thought and paid for the drinks.

Her hands were all over me in the taxi and I couldn’t wait to get back to hers.

When we got there,  she turned on the light and shouted up the stairs “Mum are you still awake!! 🙂

Made me smile!

Once upon a time,  not long after I separated from my ex-wife,   I was in a club in Glasgow,  Arta, bar restaurant and pick-up joint for people of a certain age,   This older woman started speaking to me.

Now I hadn’t been on the scene in a long time and wasn’t really aware that she was flirting with me.   Her hand was on my arm as she gazed up in to my eyes.

She says .. “A handsome young guy like you wouldn’t be interested in an old thing like me”

My reply .. “don’t be too hard on yourself,   You’re not too bad .. For your age”

Cringe …  And with that the lady disappeared!

But a valuable lesson was learned .. 

You got to know when to hold them,  know when to fold them!

Songs To Have Sex To?

Woke up at 3am,  feeling awake, wide awake.   

You know that way when it’s as if someone has flicked a switch and you’re ON?

On .. Binary 0 or 1 …  You’re good to go or you’re not. 

Vague memories of yesterday,  a meeting in town,  stressful,  but fuck that, done now,  what will be will ..

I switch on the tv,  always a mistake when you’re sleepy and need to go to work in the morning,  but I’m not and I don’t. 

Flipping channels and come across Edith Bowman from BBC on Sky Arts with a program Songs To Have Sex To?

It’s very well researched,  scientific,  investigation of the relationship between music and sex in the brain and that both stimulate the pleasure centres releasing dopamine, sorratonin and other happy chemicals.  

According to the research from author Zoe Cormier music is the only thing that stimulates the Corpus Collusum which connects both sides of the brain and when listening to music you like you’re synapses pulse in harmony. 

According to Edith here are the top ten songs that people like to get down and dirty. 

10 – Patti Smith – Gloria

9 – Jane Birkin and Serge Gainsborough – Je T’aime

8 – Air – Sexy Boy

7 – Donna Summer – Love To Love You Baby

6 – Relax – Frankie Goes To Hollywood

5 – Moments In Love – Art Of Noise

4 – Sexual Healing – Marvin Gaye

3 – Silly Games – Janet Kay 

2 – Between The Sheets – The Isley Brothers

1 – Let’s Get It On – Marvin Gaye

You weren’t really expecting Marvin to be numbero uno now were you?   

I mean that wasn’t predictable at all!
But a couple of surprise inclusions and omissions there.   

Patti Smith …  Love the song but in a top ten sexy list?

The Art Of Noise moments in love is complete dirge .. More likely to put you off to sleep than get the heart racing. 

Jane And Serge – sexy when it was released and caused an outcry because it was about people having sex …  or if you’re 13 and have ever heard of the Internet!

Air – Sexy Boy repetitive in a groove but not exactly sensual. 

Silly Games –  If you’re 12 and a girl maybe.  Then you grow up and realise it’s just about unrequited teenage lust.  Not sexy at all. 

The show is worth a look and is available on Sky Arts catchup. 

Not the kind of music you want to listen to when it’s 5am and you’re on your own!!  🙂

But what was missing?  

Off the top of my head … In no particular order … 

Sam Smith – Stay With Me

Minnie Ripperton – Inside My Love

Jennifer Lopez – Baby I Love U

Barry White – Can’t Get Enough Of Your Love Babe

Aretha Franklin – Chain Of Fools

Groove Me – Fern Kinney

Loads more and I’m sure you’ll have your own .. Feel free to suggest in the comments!