Wolf – Patience?


She’s fucking dead. 

She just doesn’t know it yet.  

Does she think she that she can steal from me and get away with it?

Really?

I mean, we aren’t talking a trivial amount here,  a full 6 figures is not to be sniffed st. 

That was my retirement fund. 

So how do you think I feel?

A fool and his money?

Too right I do. 

I trusted her,  helped her out in her time of need and this is the payback. 

The point being there is no payback. 

Not from her. 

A gift she says,  a fucking gift?

Who gifts six figure sums to ex-lovers?

Yeah maybe fucking Rockerfeller,  but not any ordinary working pleb. 

Not fucking me. 

Look at her sitting there smugly, brazenly,  holding hands with her new dick and lying her ass off. 

He’s got a smirk on his face. 

They  know that they have me at an advantage.  

It’s hard to prove a negative. 

It was a gift. 

No it wasn’t. 

Yes it was. 

Repeat. 

Things were running along nicely until this dick came on the scene.   We had an agreement and progress was being made. 

Now that counts for nothing.  So they say. 

Not with me it doesn’t.  My word is my fucking bond.  Good or bad. 

Do they think that they are going to steal from me and get away with it. 

No fucking chance. 

They’ve took advantage of my good nature and the fact that I still cared about her and abused my  trust. 

Yes I should have made it legal.  But I trusted her.  

Now do you see were trust gets you?

Trust fucking no one. 

There’s a life lesson for you. 

Not with your heart and definitely not with your money. 

Do they think that they can get away with this?

My lawyer says that I should have came to him sooner,   That I should have made a formal agreement at the time. 

Yeah fucking yeah.   Tell me what I don’t know. 

I already feel stupid.   

A fool and his money.  

But here’s the thing,    

Do they think that they can steal from me and get away with it?

That just isn’t going to happen. 

Even if legally they win,  morally they have stolen from me and there has to be retribution.   

My pride won’t allow it any other way. 

Anything else would be weak. 

Even if I win today,  they have attempted to steal from me and for that there has been retribution. 

Win or lose. They die. 

It’s just a matter of when, where and how. 

We already know the why. 

I’ve already gone to the mattresses,  shut myself off,  cut ties with the people I care about.    I don’t want them involved in this if it goes wrong. 

If they ever read this, then I hope they know why.   It’s not because I don’t care.   It’s because I need to sort this. 

I work and go home, live a quiet life. 

On the face of it. 

But that’s not me. 

That’s when I’m at my most dangerous. 

I’m planning and stalking.  This can’t go wrong.   There can’t be comeback or consequences.   It has to be planned. 

Last week, I watched him kiss her goodbye from a street away.   Followed him to his work. Later I followed him home. 

Then drove away.  

Thus can’t be obvious.  If something happened to either of them today where is the first place that they are going to look?

Patience is a virtue. 

Patience and planning make the difference between spending those retirement years with your grandchildren or Big Bob the axe murderer. 

Patience. 

No warning shots, no threats, nothing to give yourself away.   Nothing to let them see you coming. 

You’re a wolf.   Be a wolf. 

Patient, relentless, ruthless. 

Stalk your prey,   stay silent until you move in for the kill with power, aggression and surprise. 

She’s dead.   

She just doesn’t know it yet. 

 —

4am and wide awake. 

Wrote this, made tea, played piano.   

Teaching myself Half The World Away by Oasis.  Such a great song.   

I love the sentiment of checking out of the planet cos you just can’t stand it.  But not feeling down and at the end asking the listener not to feel down. 

I’d imagine that it would make a good funeral song,  leaving the planet in your old age because you can’t stand it,  but not being down about it and telling your loved ones not be down either. 

No I won’t feel down. 

Don’t feel down …

6am and still awake but eyes feeling heavy. 

The worst thing is when the alarm kicks in at 645,  I’ll not be able to keep my eyes open. 

Don’t feel down!  🙂

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Wolf – Blood?

wolf

 

Have you ever noticed how far a single drop of blood spreads?

Maybe you’ve accidentally scratched yourself or cut yourself shaving, but the blood doesn’t easily stop and the vivid colour permeates everything it touches.

Why is it that when you cut yourself shaving, it’s always when you’re in a hurry?

Or do you cut yourself shaving because you are in a hurry and not being as careful as you normally would?

The worst part is that it won’t stop and as you get dressed, a piece of loo-paper stuck to your chin, it drops off and a drop of blood hits your white or blue work shirt spreading through the material and spoiling your look just before you leave the house.

That’s trivial. So you can imagine what it’s like when someone has a major trauma injury, the red stuff oozing or gushing from their wound all over your brand new flooring.

Inconsiderate bastards.

You’d think that they would have been more careful.

But was it really their fault?

Was it?

Are you sure?

I’m sure.

I have my story and I’m sticking to it.

I looked at her lying there unconscious, blood seeping from her head, running down the kitchen unit and already creating a small but growing puddle on my new flooring.

I assessed the situation in an instant, there was no way that this would clean up with Mister Muscle. Continue reading “Wolf – Blood?”

Wolf – Consent?

wolf

As I said, I didn’t mean to kill her.

I didn’t know her, there was no malice, I was only defending myself.

Okay, maybe I did defend myself more than I should have, but it wasn’t meant to happen.

She kept hitting me for fucks sake. What was I meant to do?

As I told the other officer, we had only met that night although we had been chatting on the phone for a few weeks.

No sex wasn’t mentioned, not on the phone and it wasn’t even mentioned in the pub, but to be fair, there was some implicit undertones when I asked her if she wanted to come back to mine.

Yes I was surprised when she said yes. Quite taken aback to be honest. We’d had a few kisses and then a bit of a snog, but I didn’t think she’d come back to mine never mind spend the night. Continue reading “Wolf – Consent?”

Free Fallin’. #TomPetty

He’s gonna free fall

Out into nothing

Gonna leave this world

For a while

Now he’s free, free fallin’

Sad to hear of the sudden death of Tom Petty today. I can’t honestly say I was his biggest fan as he was a little before my time.

But good music lives forever, it’s melody and message touches people in ways they never expected.

Take me and the boys playing Free Fallin’, such a simple tune to play, repetitive but mesmerising.

It’s the kind of song that you get lost in and when you find your groove you never want to end and we’d play on well past any reasonable duration just because it feels good, looking at each other and knowing we’ve overdone it but don’t want to stop.

To create that magic so simply takes a special kind of talent.

Free, free fallin’.

A Prayer For The Living? #Oasis

 

I’m sure like me,  you have many songs that take you back to people and places in your life,  happy times,  sad times,  the best and worst of times.   Moments that we treasure and wish that we could live again and moments that we wish we could forget.

Sometimes,  years after the event,  we are getting on with our day,  the radio on in the background and a song comes on that reminds us of happy times,  it makes us feel good and we smile at the memories that come flooding back.

Sometimes,  it’s the opposite,  a song that reminds us of sad times.  That takes our breath away and puts a tear in our eyes. Continue reading “A Prayer For The Living? #Oasis”

I Hate Cyclists!

Cyclists

I hate cyclists.

No really,  I absolutely hate them.

Now you know that if you’ve read any of my gibbering’s that I don’t tend to hate people and it’s not a word that I used very often.

But cyclists?

They are a torn face bunch of moany bastards and always complaining about X, Y or Z.

Their latest offering is because of the number of cyclist killed on the roads because car drivers or passengers have opened their doors.

In the few cases that I’ve heard discussed,  notably on Radio 2,  it’s not the door opening that kills the driver,   it’s the collision with the door causing the cyclist to fall into the path of another vehicle which then causes the fatal injury.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-41219977

Now that’s obviously it’s a tragic accident. Continue reading “I Hate Cyclists!”

Wolf – 8 – Whodunnit?


How do you go about killing someone?

Well that kinda depends if you want to get caught or not.

Let’s imagine for a moment .. or as long as it takes to read this .. that you wanted to murder your ex wife or former partner.  

Reason?    

We aren’t talking reasons. .. that’s up to you .. let’s talk practicalities. 

Statistically most murders of women are stabbings committed by their partner or former partner in the women’s home or partners home.

So in most cases Miss Scarlet does gets murdered by Mr Green in the Living Room with the dagger.

The implication of these statistics is that regardless if you consciously plan to murder or in a moment of passion react violently and kill your partner then no matter how you try and hide it, Inspector Cluedo will already have a good inkling that it was you and it’s just a matter of collating the evidence.

Do you remember all those old episodes of Colombo, still being broadcast on satellite channels?

Typically some woman is killed, usually in glamorous locations in unglamorous circumstances.

The inspector turns up like a bad smell in his grubby raincoat. He’s the little guy, the underrated underdog that nobody wants hanging around embarrassing them in their perfectly imperfect lifestyles.

He takes one look at the scene, It’s not obvious who killed the poor woman but Colombo knows a liar when he sees one.

Continue reading “Wolf – 8 – Whodunnit?”