Well that’s just done it ..
The train home from Anderston to Cambuslang after work.
Totally packed, but getting on at Anderston beats the rush of the city, I already have a seat in a six seat booth beside the window facing forward.
Some other people come along and grab the other three corners.
Because we humans are sociable like that!
I’m thinking thank fuck the walrus sitting opposite me didn’t sit beside me … but what was I to know!
At central, it’s rush hour and the platform is packed and every carriage is standing room only.
Two more folk approach the booth, skinny dude and a fucking hippopotamus even fatter than the walrus sitting opposite.
The skinny dude, a gentleman without an option as fatty is pushing ahead, lets her choose her seat, centre facing front or centre facing back.
She chooses front.
Now I’m sitting pinned against the window with her fat arse and elbow pressing against mine.
Now she has her phone out playing some stupid game her elbow hitting me every few seconds.
It’s not painful, just extremely annoying.
I can’t stand fat people, it’s bad enough getting caught behind their slow wide wobble when you’re in a rush.
But sitting squeezed in and pushing her not unsizeable bulk into my space is intrusive in the extreme.
I really want to shout at this person … you dirty big fat inconsiderate fuck, why don’t you lose some weight you fucking monster.
But then that would make me the monster.
Maybe I’ll just follow her home, then come back later and murder her in her sleep. 😀
I had considered writing this as a Train Story without the last paragraph which gives it an extra twisted twist!
Until that point it was going to be ironic, criticising her then turning it on myself.
But that last line is dementedly sick. I like it.
I watched Joker last night, what a performance by Joaquin Phoenix if that doesn’t win the Oscar then their fixed.