Wolf – The Last Goodbye?

It wasn’t the first time she’d said goodbye.

Maybe it won’t be her last.

Maybe?

Over the past 15 years the relationship was ..On .. Off .. On .. Offffffffff .. On .. Off .. On and now finally Off .. or so it seems.

She wasn’t happy that I wasn’t paying her enough attention.

How dare I have the audacity to have a life that doesn’t revolve around her!

Like Galileo or even Copernicus, I was found guilty for highlighting what now seems obvious.

Continue reading “Wolf – The Last Goodbye?”

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Flying The Nest?

2 down, 1 to go!

Well it’s finally happened, My kids are all growing up and leaving me to start life’s of their own.

Laura 28 left first, just over a year ago, buying a house with her partner. She called me last night to tell me they are getting married next year. I’m delighted for them both.

Steven 30 leaves this weekend, moving into rented accommodation with his partner. They’ll be buying soon but giving it a try first

Both of these were expected.

What wasn’t expected is that my munchkin Claire 21 would be moving out so soon.

She recently graduated from Strathclyde with a first class honours degree. I’m very proud of her. Even more so that she has her first job working for a major bank on an amazing starting salary.

A salary that many of my own extended family couldn’t hope to earn despite working for many years.

There’s the proof that education and guidance makes the difference to people’s starts in life.

What wasn’t expected is that she’d be leaving home so soon and moving south to their headquarters.

Coincidentally her boyfriend lives in the same city.

What’s the chances eh??!!

I’m pleased for her but can’t help feeling a bit sad.

This place we live isn’t just a house, it’s home.

Soon I’ll be rattling around in it on my own.

The thought of downsizing crossed my mind, maybe renting it out and using the money to see the world.

But truth be told I’ve seen as much as I want to see with the exception of New York, Vegas, Washington DC and the California coast

I’ve no desire to backpack across Vietnam or experience food poisoning or malaria in less civilised parts of the world.

So what next?

I’ve no idea really, keep working, no mortgage to pay so just enjoy life.

Truth be told, I think it’s time I found a new partner and settled down.

Life’s too short and too precious to live it on your own.

2am on Monday morning. This new job comes with bank holidays.

But if truth be told I’m not convinced if being staff rather than self employed is for me.

Especially with a daughter getting married next year!

It’s going to be costly. 🙂

Please Just Fuck Off!

It’s the half night

The half light

I’m wide awake

When I should be sound

 

She’s been texting

Her anxiety increasing

With my lack of response

But I was asleep to be fair

 

She wants me

She misses me

She wants me to fuck her

To do anything I want

 

She asks

Do I miss her?

Do I not love her?

Why don’t I love her?

 

All that angst and anxiety

While I was in the land of nod

Dreaming about nothing at all

And certainly not her

 

Continue reading “Please Just Fuck Off!”

Wolf – Last Christmas?

wolf

Of course I miss you, it would be stupid to think that I didn’t.

A couple of years together thrown away a puff of anger, hurt feelings and faux outrage.

Faux?

Because we are both proud people and although we were both in the wrong, our pride doesn’t allow us to apologise and climb down from our moral high ground very easily.

I know that I upset you, you know that you upset me, but is worth throwing away a bright future for the sake of some relatively petty issues?

Probably not.

So why are we allowing this to continue to fester and the distance between us to grow?

I’ve already said sorry. I don’t think I can do anything more.

How many apologies does it take? Continue reading “Wolf – Last Christmas?”

Life Moves On, Like it or Not!

IMG_0570

Sometimes, as you get to a certain age, you realise that life is moving on.

My world seems pretty static, I’m single, kids now 28, 27 and 20 and only the youngest is still with me.

Most of the time, nothing really changes, I go to work, go home, eat dinner, play piano, watch tv, fall asleep on sofa, repeat.

It’s Friday and I’ve just did my latest invoice for the company who currently employs my service.

That’s a straight 34 weeks I’ve worked without a break, that pretty bad .. huh.

In August, I was hoping for a family holiday, I was picking up the tab, but the kids all have busy life’s and partners/boyfriends/girlfriend ( delete as necessary)

Trying to get them all to agree to a week or two in the sun at the same time just wasn’t happening.

So unfortunately I didn’t get away and I’m missing the sunshine no my bones.

But I digress, life is moving on whether I like it or not.

The kids considering their partners more than their dad was inevitable, it’s part of life but it still hurts when they don’t want a family holiday. Continue reading “Life Moves On, Like it or Not!”

Good People, Bad Things, Right Reasons?

Trump

Check out my face.
I’m no George Clooney or Brad Pitt.
I’m not exactly handsome.
Am I?

Check out my body
I’m no Arnie, Beckham or Federer
The diet coke guy
I’m not.

Check out my mind
It’s not Mandela or Thatcher
And Stephen Hawking
Has nothing to fear

Check out my heart
You’ll see that it’s big
That its full of love
And it’s in the right place

Check out my soul
It’s mostly pure
Mostly
But I have sinned
I have stolen
Cheated
Lied
But only to survive
And provide

A sinner, a liar, a cheater, a thief
It doesn’t make you a bad person
Sometimes good people
Do bad things for the right reasons

Continue reading “Good People, Bad Things, Right Reasons?”

A Prayer For The Living? #Oasis

 

I’m sure like me,  you have many songs that take you back to people and places in your life,  happy times,  sad times,  the best and worst of times.   Moments that we treasure and wish that we could live again and moments that we wish we could forget.

Sometimes,  years after the event,  we are getting on with our day,  the radio on in the background and a song comes on that reminds us of happy times,  it makes us feel good and we smile at the memories that come flooding back.

Sometimes,  it’s the opposite,  a song that reminds us of sad times.  That takes our breath away and puts a tear in our eyes. Continue reading “A Prayer For The Living? #Oasis”