Check that pic of my 3 kids taken on the morning of the Millennium, Laura is now 28, Claire 22 and Steven 30. All summer babies.
Things have changed in the past almost 20 years. I was divorced a few years later and they’ve grown up, All young graduates and my elder two are established in their careers and living with their partners.
A couple of weeks ago, I mentioned on here how pleased I was for my munchkin, Claire 22, to graduate and get a new job.
The only problem is that the new job is down south at one of the major banks. Thankfully its not London based, but it is a fantastic opportunity and carries an amazing starting salary.
I’m absolutely delighted for her.
But here’s the thing .. I’m somehow sad, not for her or them .. I’m delighted .. that doesn’t change. But its as if somehow its an end of an era and my purpose and usefulness has come to an end.
That’s rubbish really .. I know it .. You know it.
But its overwhelming.
I find myself making tea in the morning, knowing that she’s still asleep in bed, knowing that she’s safe and thinking next week, I’m on my own.
We had dinner last week and her brother and sister wrote beautiful messages on the good-luck cards they have her .. Their as proud as I am ,, but without the angst.
Tomorrow I drive her down south, she’s going to be living with her boyfriends parents.
I’m looking forward to meeting them and I’m pleased that she’s not going to a flat. Moving house and starting a new job in a new city is stressful enough never mind living in another unknown place.
A 6 hour drive from Glasgow and it will be like driving her down the aisle. Giving her away to a new life.
Yeah pathetic I know.
She says she’ll be back every few weeks and she’s already planned to be back on the 14th.
But how long will that last?
Indefinitely she says, her life is up her, she says.
And I want to believe her, even although she’s starting a new life down there.
I hear my inner voice saying, part of being a parent is you need to let them fly, you’ve done a good job, provided for them and gave them the tools to fly and now they are living their own lives.
It’s my proudest achievement seeing them get on in life.
But despite my brain over-ruling my heart, knowing it makes sense, it still hurts.
Jeez, I’ve had my moments of heartache or even heartbreak before.
But nothing, no nothing, compares to this.
Tomorrow her boyfriends parents kindly offered if i’d like to stay at theirs. But I booked a hotel to save any inconvenience. I’m genuinely looking forward to meeting them and going for dinner on Saturday night.
No doubt that there will be sad good-byes on Sunday before the drive back north to Glasgow.
No doubt that I’ll be choked but will try and keep a smile on my face.
On the positive site, next week, an empty nest .. I can sit about in my pants .. play my music or piano as loud as a like at any time of day or night.
It’s time to take the parental gloves off and get back to living a single life.
Give it a couple of years, the grand-kids will be here and I’m quitting this working for a living malarkey.
Bring it on!! 🙂
Sunday at 12pm, Celtic are playing Rangers at Ibrox, I may be driving up the road or might watch it down south then head for home.
I hope there aren’t any more tears on that long drive up the road.
Have a good weekend whatever you do.