Work Stories – The Hills Have Pies?

Pies.png

The fat family.

Two men and a woman,  all mid-50’s,  white hair,  podgy faces and bodies.

They moved up to my area recently,   currently seated directly facing me two banks of desks away.

I don’t know anything about these people, I’m sure they are lovely, intelligent,  hard-working,  all that good stuff.

But here’s what I noticed .. they all look exactly the same .. like some sort of clones who have been fed a strict diet of McDonalds.

Face,  body,  hair  … All very similar.

Demeanour?

Absolutely no idea .. apart from the fact that they talk non-stop and are constantly stuffing their already fat faces.

Do you think that they are good people are bad people?

Get real for fucks sakes!

How can you possibly make such a decision on so little information?

Of course they are good people,  holding down a job,  earning a living for their families.

Even if it is just the one family!    🙂

But don’t confuse being fat or old or grey with being incapable.

That would only say more about you than them.

 

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A Prayer For The Living? #Oasis

 

I’m sure like me,  you have many songs that take you back to people and places in your life,  happy times,  sad times,  the best and worst of times.   Moments that we treasure and wish that we could live again and moments that we wish we could forget.

Sometimes,  years after the event,  we are getting on with our day,  the radio on in the background and a song comes on that reminds us of happy times,  it makes us feel good and we smile at the memories that come flooding back.

Sometimes,  it’s the opposite,  a song that reminds us of sad times.  That takes our breath away and puts a tear in our eyes. Continue reading “A Prayer For The Living? #Oasis”

Musical Differences? … Change and Resentment.

Q – So why did you and the band split up Robbie?

A – Well .. I don’t know … musical differences I guess.

He was hardly going to say that he’s a bit of an arrogant selfish prick, tired of playing second fiddle to the more talented Gary and wanting more attention.

You could swap those names for Liam / Noel or even John / Paul.

But is it arrogant or selfish to want to move on to different things, to leave the old behind and try a new challenge?

If you’ve ever felt bored or unappreciated in a job or a relationship and wanted to move on because what you have isn’t working and you feel that you’d be more appreciated elsewhere, does that make you a bad person?

Of course it doesn’t.

The problem occurs because when you leave people behind they can feel hurt or let down in whatever context you’ve split.

How many times have you seen friends or family in a relationship that’s broken or stale and it goes on like that for a while because they care about what they had and have a lot of time invested in each other. But eventually something has to give.

Continue reading “Musical Differences? … Change and Resentment.”

I Hate Cyclists!

Cyclists

I hate cyclists.

No really,  I absolutely hate them.

Now you know that if you’ve read any of my gibbering’s that I don’t tend to hate people and it’s not a word that I used very often.

But cyclists?

They are a torn face bunch of moany bastards and always complaining about X, Y or Z.

Their latest offering is because of the number of cyclist killed on the roads because car drivers or passengers have opened their doors.

In the few cases that I’ve heard discussed,  notably on Radio 2,  it’s not the door opening that kills the driver,   it’s the collision with the door causing the cyclist to fall into the path of another vehicle which then causes the fatal injury.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-41219977

Now that’s obviously it’s a tragic accident. Continue reading “I Hate Cyclists!”

Supply, Demand, Fear And Loathing in the UK Software Industry

Fear And Loathing

John and I have worked together a few times over the years.

The first time was back in 1998 during the halcyon days of deregulation when the government was throwing money at the utility companies in an attempt to open the energy and telecom markets and make buying electricity, gas or telephone services more competitive.

That was the party-line anyway but the real reason was in making money for the people who already had the money to invest, i.e. the Tory Party demographic and the banks, pension companies and institutes which could make huge profits buying the UK infrastructure at bottom-dollar prices and their share prices doubling over night.

As individuals working in software development, there was lots of money to be made on that gravy train and even although John and I were comparative bottom-feeders, we still made a relative fortune on obscene hourly rates, but that’s supply and demand for you.

Deadlines were tight, the date at which the market was set to open was fixed in stone and our employer Scottish Power was desperate to be one of the first PES’s with its foot in the door and it’s grubby little hands in your wallet.

Of course the reason that deadlines were tight was because the early days of analysis and design had been undertaken by some of the major consultancies of the time, IBM,. Logica, Cap Gemini and they were too busy lining their own pockets with the freely available money directed from the public purse to actually give a t0ss about getting the job done.

They talked a good game, as they always do, the project managers and analysts were the kind of guys who were good at drawing boxes to represent systems or data sources and then drawing the lines between them to represent processes and data flows.

You know the type, all talk, all confidence and delivered nothing.

I hear on the grape-vine that these guys are still out there now, 20 years later working in banking and the privatisation of Scottish Water, the latest gravy train to come along offering free money to those who talk a good game.

It’s not really strange to find that these guys all know each other, a cabal of frauds masquerading as leaders when all they are good at is leading any unsuspecting PLC up the proverbial garden path.

Of course by that time, budgets have been agreed and half spent, lots of documents have been produced with diagrams of boxes and lines but not a lot of actual detail and no infrastructure or software architecture which will implement the new business requirements.

That’s when they call us bottom-feeders in, the mercenaries who drift from contract to contract getting the work done on a decent daily rate extending the contract as long as we can to keep the dosh rolling in as long as possible or until someone else makes us a better offer.

1998 and Scottish Power went live with half-@rsed systems that didn’t work, that had been badly designed and sparsely data-populated.

Let me elaborate, some @rsehole who will remain nameless had been so focused on the data flows to communicate customer comings and goings with other market participants that he had completely missed any changes to the customer service screen to deal with the new data flows and the changes.

Another @rsehole in charge of data population decided that half the customers weren’t in scope for initial population. So on day-1 when these customers decided to get their electricity elsewhere, their data content fell down the cracks between the systems never to be seen again.

Yeah, of course it caused a stushie, there were customer complaints, OFGEN were involved, but the consultancies didn’t care, the @rseholes didn’t care and the bottom-feeders like John and I aren’t weren’t paid enough to care.

If the truth be told, what John and I did, with most of the development team was party hard on the money we earned on the gravy train that seemed that it was never going to end.

Every time our contract was renewed there was another £200 per week thrown on the deal, a sweetener to keep us motived and interested, sticking with the project to get it over the finish line even although we knew that it was fecked. We were paid to fix the bad software, write the missing parts and cleanse the data, all of which should have been complete before the system went live.

Here’s a unobvious truth, a software developer will earn more money from a bad project than a good one and I can assure that we made a fortune.

There were quite a few marriages ended in that period. But that’s another story for another day.

That was then, this is now.

But back to John, he’s a good guy for a hun. ( Rangers Supporter )

Continue reading “Supply, Demand, Fear And Loathing in the UK Software Industry”

The Rebels Have Won … The #SPFL Is Dead. 


The SPFL premiership started a few weeks ago and Celtic are already on top on goal difference from St Johnstone and Aberdeen. 

In the same period, our closest perceived rivals Rangers have lost more points than they have won gaining a poor 4 from 9. 

Last weekend with last nights Champions League match pending,  Celtic played a largely second string set of players and still comfortably overcame Kilmarnock by two goals. 

Does anyone doubt that this Celtic juggernaut will continue?

The bookmakers certainly don’t and have reduced their odds on Celtic winning the league accordingly with best odds dropping from 1/8 on to 1/33 on.    In percentage terms,  a poor 12.5% return has now dropped to meagre 3.33% return and not worth the money. 

Essentially,  the bookmakers are saying that it’s all over already. 

What is worth noting in the numbers that Aberdeen are now second favourites,  with Rangers best return increasing to 25/1 from 20/1 before the league started. 

To put things in perspective,   I’m a Celtic fan,  I love my club for more than football,  it’s not about 22 men chasing a ball round a park,  it’s bigger than that.  

It’s about rivalry,   about historic repression, being the underdog, standing up to bigotry and not letting the establishment club or its supporters regard us as second class citizens. 

Football is just the medium in which that message is expressed.    
And bhoy have we expressed it. 

Celtic are better run, better managed, more financially astute and generate much more revenue than any other team in Scotland. 

But let’s not be arrogant,  it’s not our way.    20 years ago that arrogance eminated from the other side of Glasgow.   They thought they were untouchable,  they spoke of floating pitches, world class hotels and casino complexes. 

It was all moonbeams. 

They reality was that they refused to pay their social taxes and look where they are now,  in a box in a liquidators office going through the process of stripping the last flesh from their rotting carcass. 
It’s quite sad really. 

Even worse is that the new entity which purchased those assets are a shadow of the former club. 

My Rangers supporting friends don’t care about administration, liquidation, assets etc.   They just want to put their fingers in their ears and support the team in blue that plays out of Ibrox.   

I get that,  they want the joy,  they pay their season ticket and support their team.  

But they don’t  want to think about finances, management or governance.  That’s someone else’s responsibility. 

That attitude is why their club was liquidated and why they are in their current predicament. 

Meanwhile,  I miss them,  I don’t miss their songs of hatred,  but I miss a genuine rivalry.   I miss the banter with my mates and the excitement of playing our closest rivals knowing that we could lose. 

Actually I don’t miss them,  it’s the genuine challenge that I miss. 

Sport is meant to be competitive and winning the SPFL without it is pretty dull and not good for Celtic or the other clubs who are more restricted financially. 

Do I have a solution?

Not really,   Celtic is a big club in a small pond but we can only play what’s in front of us.   

The EPL would provide a challenge but they don’t want us. 

The Champions League provides our only real challenge and we look like plucky minnows compared with other giant clubs with huge tv revenues. 

Thankfully we made the group stages again this year,  generating an additional £35 million in revenue and increasing the gulf between Celtic and the other Scottish clubs. 

That gulf is only going to keep getting bigger and the following thought occurred to me. 

Back in March 1994 when Fergus McCann, John Keane and others saved the club from being foreclosed by the Bank Of Scotland,  Brian Dempsey famously stood on the steps at Celtic Park and proclaimed that “The Rebels had won”. 
The rebels have won,  but at what cost when you’ve outgrown all other clubs and killed the SPFL as a competition. 

For Celtic and for the good of Scottish Football we need to find a different challenge. 
Original Stats 

https://dancingbhoy.wordpress.com/2017/08/03/more-free-money-celticfc/

Current betting

Flashbacks Of A Fool?

I would do anything for you
I would climb mountains
I would swim all the oceans blue

I would plant roses at your door
Reveal my secrets
More than enough for me to share

Nah you’re alright Bryan,  I’m just having a good time and enjoying life.

Secrets are for keeping and should never be told.

Well unless you have a blog and can write about them anonymously.

So how’s your weekend looking?

Should I tell you about mine?

As it happens,  two of my favourite bands are playing Glasgow this weekend.

Roxy Music and David Bowie,  my favourite artists as a boy growing up in the mid-70s grey slums of Glasgow.

These guys provided images of glamour and decadence to the unrequited lust of my youth.

The clip above asks … how could you choose between Bryan Ferry and David Bowie?

Personally Ud choose Bowie any day of the week.    But maybe she meant in a fldifferent context.  

Of course this weekend bands are both tribute acts,    they aren’t the same as the real thing,  but both are pretty good,  particularly the Bowie tribute and if you close your eyes or have just enough drink to let your mind wander,  you can imagine being in a club in the 70s listening to these guys raw and passionate before they got famous.

Or is that just another flashback of a fool?

Have fun!