Train Stories – Shades? …. #humour

Yesterday I was gibbering about the lovely young guy we met on train,  handsome, charming, articulate, confident but understated.   Turns out he’s a naval aviator,  a pilot to you and me!

We had a good chat and a few laughs on the train to London,  exchanged details as he’s hoping to visit Glasgow in the near future. 

Today sitting on the train heading east towards Edinburgh,  it’s bright but not sunny. I can see its pale yellow glimmer in front of me. 

A young guy gets on and takes the seat across from me, sitting st the aisle facing west away from the sun. 

He’s wearing dark aviator sun glasses which he keeps on his face for the whole journey. 

I’m thinking,  maybe he has a sight issue? 

But when a text arrives he briefly takes them off so that he can look at his phone. 

No sight issue, no black eye. 

Don’t get me wrong,  I’m all for people wearing or doing what they like.  

Guys wearing a dress .. Fine!

Guys wearing funny hats .. Fine!

Girls wearing short skirts .. Perfect!

The current trend for big hairy beards? 

I don’t mind a woman with a beard! ūüôā

Well I do .. But that wouldn’t be as funny!

But wearing shades in a dark train?

He couldn’t look less cool if he tried!

The #Glasgow Melting Pot!

If you go in to a pub in Glasgow and see an item at the foot of the menu saying A Glasgow Salad.

Do not for one moment think this is a beautiful concoction of fruit and veg lovingly dressed and prepared for healthy consumption.

Glasgow working class tradition, dictates that we don’t do salad.

Our diet is historically influenced by tough working conditions and terrible weather, giving the need to eat carbs for energy or stay warm.

Salad?   No chance!

A Glasgow Salad is a plate of chips .. Or as you may know them fries .. not to be confused with crisps, which come from bags in the supermarket.

We really are an unhealthy lot, heart attack capital of the world, but it’s changing, we are improving, it takes time, generations for the old to die out to be replaced by a more educated youth.

As a bhoy in Glasgow, we were poor .. Not going to blab on about it, but 5 boys, mum and dad all living in one bedroom apartment with no indoor toilet facilities is barbaric by today’s standards.

Food was mainly the Scottish traditions of mince and tatties, stovies, or in the summer, chips and corn beef.


We didn’t need no stinking salad!

Well occasionally, my dad would have salad, Lettuce, tomato, onions, carrots and maybe some ham or a boiled egg .. And no dressing in sight.

Definitely not exciting in a gastronomic sense!

But things change .. Not only do our tastes change, but the availability of food from other parts of the world, influenced by people who have migrated to our city has improved the choice significantly.

Take today lunch .. Pictured above .. A delicious combination of Moroccan chickpeas, noodles, sweet potato and coleslaw.

We would never had that when I was a kid, it wasn’t even available then and is so much more nutritious than the traditional working mans lunch of a fish supper from the chippy.

I spent lunch with a Sikh colleague of mine, just the two of us, so I took the opportunity to ask about the traditional Sikh five articles of faith and if had any difficulties getting his Kirpan through airport security on his weekly commute from London.

Like us Scot’s he still holds to his Punjabi traditions but embraces the culture he lives with, loves a beer and wants to go to see Celtic play in The Champions League.

I love that, celebrating the old and embracing the new.

Like my lunch, Glasgow really is a great big melting pot.

Train Stories – Fa-Fa-Fashionably Uncool!

She’s sitting directly in front of me now ..

This young woman, mid 20s,  fat faced, her thighs popping out of her deliberately ripped leggings.

She’s wearing black from top to toe.

Of course she is … because¬†don’t you know that¬†it makes her look thinner?

Only it’s fooling nobody.

With her dyed metallic green hair and her thick foundation plastered across her face this girl is the something of fashion,

The what?

Substitute you’re choice of adjective as necessary – epitome, height, opposite ..

Personally I really don’t give a fuck how she looks.

She’s sitting there now,¬† her currently trendy high heeled sneakered foot on the seat beside me,¬† her makeup bag spread across her thighs,¬† applying blusher, mascara, lip liner etc ignoring the people standing in the aisle.

She’s been doing this for the past 20 minutes and making a real big show of it.

The train’s busy in the rush hour, so putting your bag on a seat to maintain some personal space is selfish,¬† but putting your feet up is arrogant and inconsiderate.

All that attitude,  all that effort to look fashionable and cool.

But it just isn’t working.

Always loved the guitar in this song by Bowie