No wonder women are fearful?

footballers

Lunchtime and I’m catching up on the news and came across the following two articles on the BBC news pages.

In the first,   the chairman of UKIP,  Scotland is found guilty of calling random women and sexually harassing them.    He has been released on bail with sentencing to take place next month.

Bail?  Why?   Why allow this guy his freedom when he has been found guilty?

Shouldn’t wrong doing not only be punished, but seen to be punished with immediate consequences?

In the second,  two professional footballers are found guilty by a judge of raping a drunken woman where she was in no fit state to give the legally required consent to sex.

Scandalously,  the woman in question had to take a private civil Rape case to have her two assailants brought to justice.    The first of it’s type in Scotland.

I wonder if now that a senior judge has found the men guilty,  the Procurator Fiscal,  ( the Scottish equivalent of the Crown Prosecution Service ) will reconsider and bring these animals to criminal court for summary justice and some jail time?

No wonder women are fearful of men.

With animals like these they have every right to be.

But what makes men think they can objectify and dehumanise women?

What makes them think that they have any right to treat any women like that,  whether they know them or are complete strangers.

As a man,  I find these people shameful,  no punishment is enough.

But taking a wider view,   it seems that male education is needed in what is unacceptable and the consequences need to be made tougher.

 

Footballers found guilty of Rape in private prosecution.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-38651041

Former UKIP Chairman admits Sexual Calls

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-glasgow-west-38638372

 

 

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More Strong Independent Capable #Women?

I don’t know if you  noticed it but “Clare’s Law”,  the Domestic Abuse Disclosure Scheme came into operation across the whole of Scotland yesterday. 

This scheme gives a partner or third party concerned about a friend or relative,  the right to apply for disclosure of their partners suspected history of domestic abuse or violent behaviour. 
In the six months of its trial period, there were 59 applications of which 22 resulted in disclosure.    

An indication that the majority of cases have 37 from 59 have no abusive history to disclose despite having suspicions. 

That doesn’t make them abusive,  or clear them,  it just means there is nothing to report. 

Either that or the person being reported is not actually abusive but the person applying may have their own malicious reasons to apply, possibly a third party trying to put the mix in. 

Unrealistic?  I don’t think so,  the pettiness, maliciousness and self interest of people never ceases to amaze me. 

Despite that,  having been on the receiving end of domestic abuse,  I’m all for disclosure,  it can only be a good thing.    If it saves one unfortunate soul then it’s fine it’s job. 

As a guy experiencing it,  it goes unreported because what guy would report it?    

You walk away.  Simple. 

Reporting it would only seem petty and result in lies and counter claims trying to justify the unjustifiable.   

It’s easier just to walk away particularly when you are capable of standing on your own two feet and have no ongoing dependency on the abuser. 

But here’s what I’m wondering,  at which point should a person have the right to pry into someone else’s, a partners background?

Define partner?   

Such a vague term,  clearly not someone you met last week,  so should that be based on the duration of the relationship?   

Or on the level of commitment?   I wouldn’t think you’d have to be living together to have concerns.  

Personally I think that it should it be because the person suspected of previous domestic abuse has demonstrated some dubious behaviour?
But if they have demonstrated dubious behaviour,  do you really need to apply for their history?

What if the person has no history to disclose?  

Does that make their behaviour any more acceptable?

Wouldn’t it be better just to get out of the relationship at the first sign of jealousy, controlling behaviour and/or verbal or physical abuse?

Okay,  that’s the ideal,  but it doesn’t really work like that does it?  

Hindsight is a wonderful thing and if you’ve been in that kind of relationship,  then the one thing you know for certain is that  you wish you’d got out earlier in the relationship as the warning signs were there. 

How many times have you seen a friend in a long term relationship were they can’t be themselves because of a controlling or jealous partner? 

You listen to their stories and you’d like them out of it,  but they don’t leave,  either through fear of the consequences, fear of being alone or because they have emotional and financial commitments with that person, children, house, mortgage, financial dependence. 

Having listened to people’s stories over the years,  women in particular will put up with some amount of crap from an abusive or controlling partner because they’ve bought into the situation,  had kids,  it’s about more than them. 

If that’s the case the person doesn’t need disclosure,  they already know. 

What they need is support from friends, family and social services. 

In the longer term, If we take it as a given that unfortunately most perpetrators of domestic abuse are men,  then what we need is strong women who will not tolerate that behaviour and avoid being in a dependent situation by having their own career and income. 

Strong, independent, capable women that’s what I like and want my girls to be. 

If they happen to have a man in their life’s then it’s because they choose them,  because they want them, not because they need them. 
Background Info 

http://www.heraldscotland.com/mobile/news/home-news/scots-can-ask-if-partner-has-history-of-domestic-abuse-as-clares-law-is-rolled-out.1435744749

http://www.scotland.police.uk/whats-happening/news/2015/july/national-roll-out-of-domestic-abuse-disclosure-scheme-announced

Application form

https://www.scotland.police.uk/secureforms/disclosure/

Between A Father And A Son …,

It’s my dads birthday today, 80 years young and still got all his mental faculties.

My dad is without doubt the smartest, shrewdest, most astute man I’ve had the pleasure of knowing. That includes my years working and studying in Engineering, IT and Banking.

I’ve never met a man so selfless, with the ability to see past himself, so the greater good and take the appropriate action, sometimes to his own personal detriment.

If I’m half as smart as him, then I’m twice as smart as most people.
Continue reading “Between A Father And A Son …,”

#Glasgow Spirit

Took a trip into Glasgow City centre yesterday, got off the train at Argyll Street and walked up Queen Street towards George Square.

Both streets were closed to traffic and the square was cordoned off with barriers.

There was a slightly eerie silence in the city with no traffic in these normally busy streets.

There was flowers at each entrance point to the square and small crowds gathered paying their respects. People were laying flowers expressing their grief showing their solidarity.

I’m not ashamed to confess that I was choked and had a small tear at one point myself, I’m sure most people did as the reality of the incident hit home.

In the other shopping streets, people went about their business, friendly but there was a sense of humility in the air.

This hurts, this could have affected any one of us. There but for the grace of God.

At the Glasgow Royal Infirmary Hospital, my mate Jim was there giving blood, he regularly donates both blood and platelets.

Apparently, the donation centre was so busy and they had collected so much blood that they were turning people away.

People Make Glasgow is a current motto of the city promoted by the recent Commonwealth Wealth Games.

Good times or bad, the people of this city aren’t slow to step up to the mark and play their part.

I’m very proud of my city.

Someone sent me the following poem by a Glasgow Cabbie. Good for him, couldn’t say it better.

Merry Christmas to you whoever and wherever you are, may your festive season be filled with love and joy and all my best wishes for 2015.

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Train Stories – Pushy?

Do you know what I used to love about playing football?

Apart from scoring the occasional goal obviously!

The physicality of it.

Me and some other guys, deliberately pushing at each other,  knowing the other guy is pushing back,  exerting our will and physical strength in as basic a form as possible without doing any physical harm then having a beer and a laugh about it later.

It’s always good to win,  but even if you lose then I tend to focus on the positive parts,  beating a guy  making a pass, scoring a goal, saving a goal,  making a tackle, blocking a goal.

Love it .. and miss it since I did my ankle in a couple of years ago.

What I’m getting at is I love a wee bit of physicality now and then ..

Have you ever had some guy walking into you deliberately?

You know the type .. you’re walking towards each other on a narrow pavement,  you make eye contact,  then silent negotiating whether you should move left or right?   It’s all about compromise.

Mostly you both go your own way and smile a little acknowledgement

Sometimes,  the negotiation fails and you do that little dance thing face to face at the last moment .. then pass with a smile at the stupidity of it.

But sometimes,   there is no negotiation,  as you get closer he doesn’t move .. he sticks to his chosen path and will walk straight through you as if you weren’t there.

In his head,  he’s decided that he’s somehow above you,  that you pose no threat,  that you will back down to his superior  .. errr  … what?

Normally,  I don’t play those games,  I take evasive action,  it’s just not that important ..

But sometimes,  just because at that point of silent negotiation,  the guy looks like an arrogant dick,  I drop the shoulder, tense the muscles and skeletal system, make sure your opposite foot is anchored and if he chooses to do the bump he’s going to feel it more than me.

This usual grabs their attention,  they had made some sort of presumption that you’d move but it hasn’t worked out the way they had planned.

That can go one of two ways.

Either the guy is a poser and all although his face might be upset,  he’s not going to do anything.

Or the guy fancies his chances .. and he says something until you turn and he backs down.

You see the thing is,  guys with any substance about them,  don’t need to walk into other people.

This only happens with obnoxious arrogant pricks who have some high opinion of themselves.

Real men aren’t pushy,  they don’t have to be,   but they will not be pushed.

At Haymarket last night, the platform was busy,   when the train heading back towards Glasgow showed up,  the doors of the carriage just happened to be directly in front of me.

I stepped forward with the crowd,  front and centre,  noticing the two elderly ladies to my right who had been waiting just as long as I had.

The train was already busy from Waverley,  so I stood aside to let them board and give them a better chance of grabbing a seat.

Then it happened,   the dickhead with the laptop tries to push his way past despite there clearly not being enough room to squeeze past and get on the train while the ladies are boarding.

I’d felt his approach,  the presence behind me,  but why try and push past when there’s no room?

As he pushed,  I tensed,  can’t help it,  I’m a contrary bastard sometimes,  don’t push me cos I’ll push back.

So he’s stuck behind me but he’s still pushing,  but not getting anywhere.

The ladies are on-board and I shrug him off and turn to greet him “Are you in a hurry mate?”

He momentarily stares at me, but says nothing and I let him past with a smile on my face.

When I take my seat he’s seated across from me still glaring.

For a moment our eyes meet,  I smile at him and he looks away,  pulling out his iPhone and playing his game.

I pull out mine and type a few notes,  then call home.

I wonder how he would tell the same story ..  tried to get on the train,  this bloke pushed me,  so I pushed him back,  then I got past him and he sat staring at me .. dickhead!

It’s all about perception really, but there’s no need for rudeness and pushing only pushes away.

Anyways it’s Friday,  no train stories for a week as I’m off to Lanzarote for a bit of winter sunshine.

Really looking forward to having dinner cooked in a volcano.

http://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Attraction_Review-g187477-d1007046-Reviews-Mirador_del_Rio-Lanzarote_Canary_Islands.html