Can You Imagine life without her? … #humour #perspective

Can you imagine?

For some reason she’s gone from your life?

Maybe because of some stupid reason?

Something you said?

Even if you were right, maybe it was tactless, inconsiderate to her feelings. 

Something you did?


Well if it’s redeemable then redeem it. 

Apologise, confess, make retribution and don’t let it happen again. 

Imagine life without her. 

That emptiness that she fills. 

Her smile, her face, the way you think about her when you actually think about how she makes you feel, how she’s enhanced your life. 

Think of all the things she does for you, that she does this without needing to be asked or thanked. 

Maybe you took her for granted, made her feel unappreciated, created a resentment that festered and grew out of proportion. 

A small thing to you can mean a lot to her and she has her pride. 

Yes she does. She didn’t come this far in life relying on you. You’re an addition to her life and not the centre of it. 

So if you want her in it, then apologise. 

Put your hands up and ask her forgiveness. 

I can hear your protest, yeah you have a point, but stop being a prick about it. 

Just shut up and do it. 

Or you’ll miss her when she’s gone. 

It’s the last Friday of the month, I forgot to leave out the cash for my cleaner. 

She’s really pissed off with me!!

Don’t know what I’d do without her!! 🙂

Tonight The Waterboys play Princes Garden Edinburgh as part of Magners Summer Nights at the Edinburgh Festival. 

I wasn’t a fan when I was younger apart from The Whole Of The Moon.  

But life moves on, tastes changes, people can relate to songs that once meant nothing to them. 

They did the original version of How Long Will I Love You recently covered by Ellie Golding and personally I think theirs is better, rawer, conveys more emotion although I like the EG version too. 

Work Stories – Swans?

I was chatting to a colleague of mine Edward at lunchtime,   he’s a nice guy but a bit out-there.

It was his 50th last week,  he spent it on his own .. now I’m not an unsympathetic bloke,  and I woud have bought him a beer and a curry if it hadn’t been for heading down to London.

Anyway,  at lunch he tells me a story which kinda sums him up and I think was hilarious in a .. I shouldn’t really be laughing kinda way! 

He’s been staying in a Hotel in the Gyle, about 5 miniutes walk from my work.

We also have a Czech guy called Thomas working in our team,  he’s staying there too.

This morning,  Edward is walking along to the office,  a busy dual carraigeway on his right and a 4 foot wall on the left.

He notices that he needs to tie his laces,  but as he bends down he spots Thomas 50 yards behind him.

Edward carries on tying his laces,  but when he stands up and looks around expecting Thomas to be somewhere behind him,  Thomas is nowhere to be seen.

Hhhhhmmm .. thinks Edward .. I wonder where he’s gone?

So he walks back and looks over the wall, where he finds Thomas crouching down hidiing.

Edward .. Are you hiding from me?

Thomas .. errr .. No.   he says standing up and pretending everything is normal.

Edward .. Well what were you doing then?

Thomas .. his face flushing .. Err,  nothing!!
All very Pthonesque!!

Thomas actually jumped over a four foot wall to avoid Edward and then pretended that nothing had happened.    

Edward was telling me this at lunchtime and asking me if people don’t like him!

I actually do like him,  but could’t help but laughing which he wasn’t too happy.

The thing is,  he’s harmless,  just socially awkward and its one of these self-fulfilling loops that people get stuck in,   if you’re socially awkward,  make a few gaffs,   then people may shy away fr you, so you don’t really get the chance to improve youre social skills. 

Bit of a shame really,  been there,  I was that person a long time ago,  I was a square-peg in a round hole.   not prepared for the life I found myself in.

It can make or break you,  destroy your confidence,  your self-esteem,   you either wise up to the expected norm,  put a mask on to ft in or you move on to somewhere where you do fit.

In my case it was ship-building many years ago,  pretty rough environment,  before I left and went to university to change my career and life-path and found my niche and my confidence and flourished.

For Edward, aged 50, I fear that might be too late.

Rubbish,  it’s never too late,  he just needs to find people who appreciate him and what he has to offer,  people who don’t judge him because he’s a swan in a world full of ducks.

Maybe .. just maybe you can relate to that story .. maybe you were that person too.

Maybe you’ve found your niche,  if you know any people like Edward,  help them find theirs.

As for Thomas,  that was just rude, cowardly,  instead of spending 5 minutes walking along the road with another human being and spending the time of day, even if it wasn’t the most scintilating conversation,  jumping a wall to avoid someone is extreme even if it is hilarious.


Right enough   that was a 100% true story,  nothing worse than feeling alone in a crowd.

Tonight one of my favourite bands James are playing Princes Street Gardens, Edinburgh.

Can’t wait, 

Born Of Frustration .. one of my favourite James songs

I’ll be the one making the Injun noises!!   🙂


Train Stories – Shades? …. #humour

Yesterday I was gibbering about the lovely young guy we met on train,  handsome, charming, articulate, confident but understated.   Turns out he’s a naval aviator,  a pilot to you and me!

We had a good chat and a few laughs on the train to London,  exchanged details as he’s hoping to visit Glasgow in the near future. 

Today sitting on the train heading east towards Edinburgh,  it’s bright but not sunny. I can see its pale yellow glimmer in front of me. 

A young guy gets on and takes the seat across from me, sitting st the aisle facing west away from the sun. 

He’s wearing dark aviator sun glasses which he keeps on his face for the whole journey. 

I’m thinking,  maybe he has a sight issue? 

But when a text arrives he briefly takes them off so that he can look at his phone. 

No sight issue, no black eye. 

Don’t get me wrong,  I’m all for people wearing or doing what they like.  

Guys wearing a dress .. Fine!

Guys wearing funny hats .. Fine!

Girls wearing short skirts .. Perfect!

The current trend for big hairy beards? 

I don’t mind a woman with a beard! 🙂

Well I do .. But that wouldn’t be as funny!

But wearing shades in a dark train?

He couldn’t look less cool if he tried!

Train Stories – Top Gun?!

It’s almost 5pm on Friday afternoon,  unusual for me, I’m on the train heading towards London for the weekend. 

Been on the train since 12, logged into my work as connectivity allows which is pretty rubbish to be honest. 

Sometimes you pass a cell, get 4G just long enough to securely login, then bump it’s gone again.  

Pisses me off,  but fortunately I did enough to warrant billing for the day. 

Remember .. I only pretend that I work for a living!   

At Lancaster, a young man joins the train, noticeably handsome in an all natural, almost too good to be true kinda way. 

Handsome, hunky, healthy bright eyes and a perfect smile. 

If I was a girl ..  

But I’m not so shut it!!  🙂

Anyway,  he sits in our 4 person booth and places The Stand by Stephen King,  on the small table in front of him, a book I read must be 25 years ago. 

A conversation ensues, he’s so young that he’s not even heard of The Shining, Salems Lot, Misery. 

But he’s articulate, charming, well-mannered,  funny in a quietly confident understated way. 

Enough of the praise .. 

Then the conversation turns to what we do,  he’s only leaning to fly jets and started his training on the F35 fighter jet. 

Now if I could live my life over and have my dream job,  that’s what I’d choose to do.  

We chatted for the next few hours, the F35, Euro-Fighter, Harrier Jump Jet etc. 

Then I asked ..  Have you ever do the song in a bar to impress a girl ..

Of course he did ..

And why wouldn’t you!!  🙂

You never close your eyes anymore when I kiss your lips …  

Dads,  Daughters, Changes And Supporting The #Celtic.

18 years ago today,  at the Glasgow Southern(  aka Suffering )   General Hospital  my younger daughter Claire came into the world.

Now I ask you seriously .. where the hell did that go?

A new baby,  divorce,  new houses, relationships,  ups, downs, transitions in most aspects of life.

18 years ago,  my ex-wife Alison and I lived in the leafy suburbs of Newton Mearns,  all was good, as it should be when you’re bringing a brand-spanking-new wee bundle into the world.

We had only just moved into a large 4 bedroom detached house,  i was recently self-employed and business was booming.    I had a couple of season books at Celtic Park and it had hurt like hell taking my son Steven along only to see his heart broken when Rangers were winning the league.   

At that time, this now defunct, liquidated Football club were on the verge of winning 10 Scottish Premier League Championships in a row beating Celtic’s record of 9.    

But Wim Jansen had just became Celtic’s manager and all that was to change,  this was the year that Celtic came back winning the league for the first time in 10 years on May 10 1998, what a day that was.

Since then Celtic have been the dominant force in Scottish Football winning the league on 11 years of Claires 18.

Last night,  we had a family dinner to celebrate Claires birthday.

Tonight, we are at Celtic Park supporting the team in The Champions League,  we can’t wait to hear those tones of Zadok The Priest belting out at Celtic Park and the crowd going wild.

Maybe Claire’s birthday has made me reflective,   but what it’s made me realise is that some things in life  change, but somethings will always stay the same.  

 I hate to say it because I have had so much fun winding my Rangers supporting pals up,  but even although their club died as a business,  even although the new team is a shadow of the old one,  my mates will always be fans of the team hat plays in blue at Ibrox .. call it what you will .. but they will always be Rangers fans 

Take my good pals Ian and Jim, when we played football in the park Jim was always John Greig or Davie Cooper .. I was always Billy McNeil or  Kenny Dagleish or Davie Hay.    I was never good enough to be Jimmy Johnstone,  but i wasn’t too bad at putting the ball in the net or the boot in when necessary.

Jim and Ians daughters are a mix of Celtic and Rangers fans .. thats fine .. all lovely kids.

But their grand-kids will be Celtic fans!   🙂

Bring on the Malmo.

Tran Stories – Happy or Mental? …. #humour

5pm and I’m waiting on the train back to Glasgow from Edinburgh Park.

The sun is splitting the sky and there’s a heavy heat in the air.

Typically .. People are moaning about it being too hot.

This is Scotland fur-fox-ache!

Just think yourself lucky that it’s not pissing down all summer long as usual.

I heard him before I seen him.

It was a meerkat moment!

Continue reading “Tran Stories – Happy or Mental? …. #humour”

Work Less, Live More!

A friend of a friend came home from holiday last week,  48 years of age and full of the joys of life.

She went to work on Monday and took a massive heart-attack and hasn’t recovered.

On Wednesday she was pronounced technically dead and they switched off her life support.

Today her body is still functioning even although she’s brain dead.

Obviously the family are devastated, it must be awful for everyone who cared about her.

But it just brings it home,  that life is precious and we don’t know the moment that it will be all over.

So get out there and live every day as if it’s your last.

On a personal note,  its made me do a rethink,  I work too hard,  spend too much time commuting.

Okay I work hard and play hard,   but why not work less?

I want a holiday .. in fact .. whats still left on my bucket list?

I just want to live while I’m alive!

The Half Full or Half Empty bottle of Prosecco!! … #humour

A dad goes into his almost 18 year old daughters bedroom to leave a parcel that arrived for her birthday.

As he places it on her bed he spots a half full .. Or is it half empty ? .. Bottle of Prosecco on her bedside cabinet.

He texts her a pic and the following.

“Good morning my darling daughter,  can you please tell me exactly why a half full bottle of prosecco is sitting beside your bed? 🙂 x”

She replies …

“That was from me and adele last week, just didn’t move it😇”

Him ..

“So … A number of issues with this

1 – underage drinking
2 – drinking at home
3 – not tidying up for a week
4 – not finishing the full bottle
5 – not sharing with your dad! 🙂

Get it sorted!! :-)”

She replies …

“1. I won’t be young forever
2. Better at home than anywhere else!
3. I did tidy up, just didn’t move that!
4. If it was a full bottle there would be no issue
5. Be my guest!!


That’s my girl!! 🙂

The Platform Lovers – Savages?

Charles was showing Alistair his phone.

A photograph of Monica dressed in red,  more than a little cleavage on display.

Her red glossy lipstick in contrast with her lightly tanned skin and jet black hair.

“Niiiiccce” .. Alistair hissed a rather lame description of this particularly attractive vibrant woman as he sipped on his beer.

“Nice?   You are wrong there my friend,  She is fucking gorgeous .. I  just wouldn’t get fed up fucking the brains out of that.”

Don’t you hate how some men refer to women as “that”?

The objectification of women .. you’ve read the blurb from all the usual suppliers,  Women’s Lib,  Anti-Porn Campaigners.

Here’s the thing that they miss.
Continue reading “The Platform Lovers – Savages?”