Both Sides Maybe? …. #Poetry #Humour

Saturday morning and I’m up before the Monday to Friday 630am alarm.

Love the new painting Another Married Man by Jack Vettriano.

I met him once, he smiled and called me a “dirty bastard!”

Takes one to know one! 🙂

Truth be told, I think we both just appreciate the female form.

Question – What would Donald Trump say about that ladies derrière?

I’d have to agree with him.

https://www.jackvettriano.com/shop/another-married-man/

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Wolf – Blood?

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Have you ever noticed how far a single drop of blood spreads?

Maybe you’ve accidentally scratched yourself or cut yourself shaving, but the blood doesn’t easily stop and the vivid colour permeates everything it touches.

Why is it that when you cut yourself shaving, it’s always when you’re in a hurry?

Or do you cut yourself shaving because you are in a hurry and not being as careful as you normally would?

The worst part is that it won’t stop and as you get dressed, a piece of loo-paper stuck to your chin, it drops off and a drop of blood hits your white or blue work shirt spreading through the material and spoiling your look just before you leave the house.

That’s trivial. So you can imagine what it’s like when someone has a major trauma injury, the red stuff oozing or gushing from their wound all over your brand new flooring.

Inconsiderate bastards.

You’d think that they would have been more careful.

But was it really their fault?

Was it?

Are you sure?

I’m sure.

I have my story and I’m sticking to it.

I looked at her lying there unconscious, blood seeping from her head, running down the kitchen unit and already creating a small but growing puddle on my new flooring.

I assessed the situation in an instant, there was no way that this would clean up with Mister Muscle. Continue reading “Wolf – Blood?”

Wolf – Red Card?

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It didn’t take much, it was the smallest of small things, or so I thought at the time, but then she was gone.

Was it me?

Was my understanding so different to hers that what I perceived as trivial, she perceived as a sacking offence?

A straight red-card, sent off the field of play for ungentlemanly conduct without as much as a goodnight kiss.

I thought about it later, obviously not that night as I was drunk at the time, chatting to someone on the last train home and driving up the short journey from the station because the normal laws that apply to everyone else don’t apply to me.

What?

Does that offend you?

Do you think I’m some sort of arrogant psycho? Continue reading “Wolf – Red Card?”

Wolf – Consent?

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As I said, I didn’t mean to kill her.

I didn’t know her, there was no malice, I was only defending myself.

Okay, maybe I did defend myself more than I should have, but it wasn’t meant to happen.

She kept hitting me for fucks sake. What was I meant to do?

As I told the other officer, we had only met that night although we had been chatting on the phone for a few weeks.

No sex wasn’t mentioned, not on the phone and it wasn’t even mentioned in the pub, but to be fair, there was some implicit undertones when I asked her if she wanted to come back to mine.

Yes I was surprised when she said yes. Quite taken aback to be honest. We’d had a few kisses and then a bit of a snog, but I didn’t think she’d come back to mine never mind spend the night. Continue reading “Wolf – Consent?”

Wolf – Unintentional?

I didn’t mean to kill her.

Honestly I didn’t mean it at the time and I didn’t have any plans to do so before we met or at any point over our short time together.

I had only met Katy that night for heavens sake. I barely knew her, why would I want to kill her?

Yes I wanted to fuck her, she’s an attractive woman. But this was a first date. I didn’t even have sex on my mind never mind murder.

We had been speaking for ages before we met. Getting to know each other.

Chatting on the phone most nights until we fell asleep. Chatting most mornings while she lay in bed and I was on my commute.

I think that was over a period of about three weeks since our first online hello on match.com to our first date

No there wasn’t any sex talk. I’m not like that. I think if you’re looking for a relationship rather than a fuck then sex talk is inappropriate before you meet.

Not that I’m against it. I like sex talk and mutual masturbation while you can’t be together.

But most decent women would probably be offended and run a mile if you asked them if they liked it up the ass before you’d even bought them dinner.

Why did it take so long to meet? Continue reading “Wolf – Unintentional?”