Work Stories – Objectives?

Don’t you just hate the bullshit that you sometimes have to go through as an employee?

Six monthly appraisals and annual objectives,  what a pile of shit,  a tick-box exercise designed to show that the company are making an effort,  when in actual fact they don’t really care about you or your circumstances.

It’s bullshit … and I hate bullshit.

This is my first staff job in 20 years,   Prior to taking this job I’d been self employed,  IT Consultant with various banks.

Why did I go staff? Continue reading “Work Stories – Objectives?”

Glasgow Memories – RainTown

I’ve got a love that I cling on to
And I’ll stay there til the end
Just you laugh
Cos you’re loaded
Things look different from there

My favourite Deacon Blue song,  happy memories of growing up in Glasgow in the 80s.

Christmas 1988 and I listened to that album RainTown on repeat sitting in my flat on my own while a few miles away a family party was in full swing.

Sometimes you just need to be alone.  Continue reading “Glasgow Memories – RainTown”

A small rock travelling through space ..

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The sun setting over Loch Lomond

 

Yesterday,  with holidays left to burn and no more Mondays at work this year,  I’m up in the Loch Lomond area .. isn’t it gorgeous?

A walk from the car-park at Balmaha to the top of Conic Hill,  then back down again but taking the northern ridge which brings you out around half a mile further along the loch.

It’s my favourite place in the world. Continue reading “A small rock travelling through space ..”

Stepping Stones – Education, Investment, Careers, Family.

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18 Months ago  I wrote the following about my son and his journey through education,  getting a 2:1 degree in Cell Biology from Glasgow University and his frustration at being unable to get a job and I could see that it was getting him down that all his efforts hadn’t produced a result but some of his friends who had chosen other paths were starting to make a decent living as police officers,  joiners, etc.

As his dad,  I was worried about him,  particularly as the 18-25 year age group is the highest suicide rate for males.   Possibly because at that point in their life they realise that it hasn’t quite turned out the way they expected or that it looks on tv.

So I funded him through his Masters degree at Strathclyde Business school and we were both delighted at the volume of jobs that were waiting for him as a result.

https://dancingbhoy.wordpress.com/2015/03/09/train-stories-the-journey-continues/

When he was given a few offers,   we talked them over and decided on a job in Edinburgh with less money than one in Glasgow but with better long term prospects.

Frankly the job at Barclays Bank in Glasgow might have paid a few grand more but it was a dead end,  mopping up and investigating claims but not using the business analysis skills that he learned in his masters.

So he started at a software company in Edinburgh on a lower salary of 20k and has been involved in the design,  analysis and testing of their products.  Becoming a project lead for some of their key products.

Ironically he has picked up some more technical skills like database design and SQL as part of his role.   I say ironic, as that kind of technology and IT bored him when he was younger and he wasn’t interested in learning them .. but now he sees their value,  not only in the work-place,  but also as a means to making a decent living.

After a year,  they had bumped him to 25k,   more than he would have had with Barclays.

Unfortunately 2 weeks ago,   RBS closed down their separation and sell-off of their brand Williams And Glyn as a separate business,  causing his company to lose a lot of work and he was given his redundancy notice.

As expected,  he was worried,   he stopped in at mine after work for a chat and a bit of advice and perspective.

I told him that he should view this as a stepping stone,  that he had been making progress,  that he was investing in himself,  learning to talk the talk and walk the walk and that he now had sellable skills and experience.

Did he believe me? Continue reading “Stepping Stones – Education, Investment, Careers, Family.”

The Illusion Of Glamour?

  
“The night is dark and full of terrors” is the chant she used as she held service to Stannis and his men. 

The night was certainly full of terrors in the first episode of the new Game Of Thrones last night. 

The character Melisandre is revealed to be an ancient hag using her magic to appear like a beautiful woman. 

An interesting article below on last nights final scene.    The article asks is this not what all women do with their make-up and treatments to appear younger than they are?

Melisandre is obviously an extreme case,  but the sight of a naked old lady on tv was both shocking and sad. The look in her eye as she revealed herself standing naked before the camera, empty breasts and stomach drooping,  her once thick glossy hair now thin and white. 

The illusion of glamour. 

It reminded me of someone that I used to know!

I’m not being deliberately unkind,  fake tan, botox, droopy tits in a good bra,  the works.  

She was a good looking girl, at surface level and definitely a stunner when she was younger. 

I wondered if her desperation to look younger was directly proportionate to how attractive she was in her younger day?

That because she had once been beautiful, she wanted to claw it back as much as possible. 

It took a long time to see her naked and the first time I did, she cried, revealing herself hadn’t been easy for her. 

As a guy, we are expected to accept our women as they are, yet simultaneously appreciate them putting on their public face, hair, makeup. 

It only leads to these moments of self inflicted trauma such as these when you get to see below the mask. 

I have no idea why women feel like they have to make this huge effort to look younger or more glamorous. 

Not that I don’t appreciate it. 

What I do know, is that this illusion is skin deep and shallow.  

A new guy will often be disappointed when after initial dating, his girl reveals herself.   

Make up is one thing, but the wonderbra and spandex have a lot to answer for. 

It’s the hook of keeping the guy interested long enough to buy into a deal that he won’t run away from when he sees what’s really on the table. 

That by that time he likes her for her personality not just her looks. 

Might happen for a while, but the truth has a habit of catching up with us.  

Thing is,  most guys of a certain age are realistic in their expectations,  we appreciate the effort but don’t expect perfection. 

Here’s a thing guys learn as they get older ..  that they aren’t perfect either. 

It gives a perspective we didn’t have in our younger day, a willingness to accept less than perfect because we aren’t perfect ourselves. 

But there’s truth,  there’s limits,   You either find someone physically attractive or you don’t.    

You can’t force attraction. 

She gets up in the morning and goes to the bathroom,  as she walks round the bed,  you open sleepy eyes and watch her move,  her breasts jiggle, you subconsciously appreciate her hip to waist ratio even if she is carrying a few extra pounds. 

Who wants a skinny chick anyway?

While she’s in the bathroom you awake,  you’re cock rising to the occasion,  you casually stroke it, feeling the pulse of blood pumping in that thick blue vein. 

You’re waiting on her coming back to bed,  ready to make love or fuck her brains out quickly between now and the alarm going off. 

That either works or it doesn’t. 

If it works for you then great,  you’re lucky to be in a relationship where you’re appreciated by your man regardless of how you might feel about yourself. 

So enjoy it. 

The say that time is a great healer but time can be cruel too. 

If you happen to be a 40+ year old woman with the body of a girl half your age then you’re very lucky and a very rare exception to the rule. 

The article mentioned above. 

http://www.theatlantic.com/amp/article/479760

Making Changes Sooner Than Later? 

  
Do you know that how your life turns out is really all down to you?

Good choices and bad choices at various stages all contribute to who and what we are today. 

I’m a big fan of education and hard work. 

Neither of these did anyone any harm and personally made a difference for me from working as an engineer in shipbuilding to designing systems for a bank   

This brought financial rewards,  but as I’m sure you know life isn’t all about work and money. 

In fact never be a slave to either of these fake gods. 

Spending too much time at work is to the detriment of your real life and time with friends and family. 

Similarly focusing on money causes people to lose perspective of what’s really important in life. 

A couple of people I know are caught in this trap,  they know the cost of everything but the value of nothing.   

Their life’s are as shallow as this weeks fashion item or must-have gadget. 

Quite sad really. 

The only things we have that are really important is our love and our time and both should be spent wisely. 

My advice,  love people not things and spent time with people you love, who love you back and enhance your life.   

Don’t spent your valuable time with losers,  or people who drain the life out of you.  

What you learn with experience is even if it’s painful,  with hindsight the sooner you make the break the better and the less valuable time you waste on something that’s already fucked. 

That may be  a little idealistic,  as the problem is often that people in a damaging one-sided relationship are too close to see that it’s destructive and holding onto it is only hurting themselves further. 

It’s not necessarily even a love relationship, but any friendship which has became one-sided should be dropped. 

Why did I mention this?

I was with friends at the weekend,  a very one sided relationship,  were he has a great life and she sucks the life out of him and has become steadily worse over the years.  

After the weekends happening I’ve decided that I won’t be in her company again.    That means I won’t be inviting them for dinner at mine. Nothing. I don’t have wasters in my life,  not even by association. 

A bit harsh?

I dont think so.  Read on. 

Truth is I’ve never liked this person and always wondered what she brings to the relationship.  She doesn’t work,  smokes at least 30 a day, drinks heavily and is a walking medicine cabinet,  constantly depressed and moody,  making a scene of herself and adding nothing if any value to their relationship. 

Why would anyone want to hang around with someone like that?

Personally I think it’s a weakness not to have the balls to cut the garbage from your life. 

I’ve been there,  married to an alcoholic and stayed in the relationship longer than I should have for the sake of the children and hoping it would change. 

When somewhere deep down I knew that it wouldn’t.  That they would continue in their spiral of self destruction and drag me down with them until eventually I had to let go. 

That hurts,  divorce is a world of pain emotionally and financially. Even if you are the one who chooses it. 

But hindsight is a wonderful thing and the one thing I know for absolute certainty is the sooner you make the change the better. 

Get your life back,  get your time back and spend it with people who make you happy. 

—-

Not long now til the new series of Game Of Thrones hits the screens. 

What was I saying about getting your life back?   Or death by BoxSet!  🙂

Eight From The Eighties – Day 3

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Day 3 of my 8 songs from the 80s as nominated by Alan.

In 1984, I was a daft boy ( what’s changed??!! 🙂 ) working in the shipyards in Govan, Glasgow. 

But there was no work.

So they transferred a few hundred workers of various trades to work at Swan Hunters shipyard in Newcastle.    

I spent the whole of 84 working in Newcastle on the Ark Royal aircraft carrier and a replacement for the Atlantic Conveyor container ship which had been requisitioned by the government to carry troops and equipment to the Falklands war where it was destroyed by two Exocet missiles 

We were all put up in cheap hotels and B&Bs in Whitley Bay, out of season and freezing cold with the winds coming off the North Sea. 

There were wild times on the weekends we stayed down, the bars in the hotels were open all night for us residents and some guys made full use of it. Some went over the top by distracting the night porter so that others could raid the bar.

The place I stayed in had a couple of bars and this song was popular then, the bar full of people singing its anthemic chorus, but nobody really knew who Nelson Mandela was. 

I believe in his quote in the image above that education changes the world both globally and personally.  

Education freed him,  education freed me from shipbuilding and a cycle of boom and burst and living just above poverty. 

I think this song is the proof that music raises public awareness and that changes the world. 

Just as well it was a catchy tune or Nelson might have stayed locked up! 🙂