Train Stories – Make Up Girl?

She’s sitting across from me now, the beautiful young woman with the long blonde hair and gorgeous features and fabulous figure.

It’s an hour long train journey from Glasgow to Edinburgh via Shotts and it’s difficult not to make occasional eye-contact when someone is sitting directly across from you.

Maybe that’s why so many people stare at their phones?

She is a particularly good looking girl with her tight silver fitted jumper highlighting that she has all the right curves in all the right places.

If I was 20 years younger …

She probably still be too young for me! 😀

Yeah I know, I’ve got daughters her age, so believe me that although I’m admiring her beauty there nothing untoward in my thought process.

What has caught my attention is her need to sit in a public place and plaster her face with make-up, thick foundation, blusher, ruby red lips.

Firstly is she so insecure that she has to cover her face in fake colour when she’s already a beautiful girl?

Secondly, call me old fashioned but how inappropriate is it to be doing your make up for 20 minutes on a packed train?

I’m all for personal freedom and letting people do what they like as long as it doesn’t impact anyone else, so no one is questioning that entitlement.

What I am questioning is the need and the appropriateness.


I’m somewhere between Glasgow and Edinburgh, hurtling cross country through a cold winter morning.

Early March and the sun is now appearing low on the horizon scaring away the darkness.

Spring is on its way.

Did he jump .. Or was he pushed?

The year has barely started and I’m out of one job and starting another already.

But did he jump or was he pushed?

Did he quit or resign?

A bit of both really. But when push cane to shove I got in first!

Well I was already on the look and had today’s fresh start lined up. A 6 month contract as a Solution Architect at a major financial institution in Edinburgh at a day rate that’s hard to refuse.

Yes I can be bought! 😀

Truth be told though, that last job was a nightmare.

I was bored rigid. Yet somehow squeezed between a rock and a hard place based at a demanding customer site with lack of support from the consultancy down south.

No moans, no slagging off, that’s below me and the job served a purpose of knowing what I don’t want to do but enjoying the easy commute of being back in Glasgow for 6 months.

My probation period is up this Friday coming. My manager made a point of coming up to see me last week.

I knew what was coming. So I got in first.

Now I’m on “garden leave” and they’re paying me for the month.


Shame they don’t know I already had this contract lined up.

Now I find myself heading east towards Edinburgh and looking back in time to the many occasions that I’ve worked there and did this commute before.

The train is much less stressful than the car. A breeze by comparison and gives one time to relax, a bit of browsing, reading or writing.

Looking forward to today, a little bit anxious like any new start, but I’ve did this many times before.

I’m tempted to say .. wish me luck .. but in this life you make your own.

Happy New Year!

Train Stories – Basic Instincts?

She’s a very attractive woman.

Particularly when you look past her subtle make-up and realise what age she is.

I’d guess that she’s late 40s, her long dark hair tied back showing her pretty features although the lines under her eyes give the game away.

She’s dressed to thrill, classic rather than trendy. Her dress reminds me of the one that Julia Roberts wore to the polo match in Pretty Woman, only this has black polka-dots and is fitted rather than flouncy and accentuates her shapely figure.

She sits with her legs crossed, the increased tension and her recent fake-tan, emphasises the muscle tone in her legs.

Those are great legs.

She is directly opposite me ten feet away with the entrance foyer between us.

We are both sitting on the aisle side of a bank of three seats and as the train is relatively quiet we have an unencumbered view of each other and it’s difficult not to get caught looking never mind making eye contact.

Occasionally our eyes meet as we both look up and forward at the same time then just as quickly we look away.

I mean, we are on a train, what’s going to happen?

Continue reading “Train Stories – Basic Instincts?”

Train Stories – Talking Italian?

I’m sitting on the train this morning,   two Italian guys get on and sit behind me.

How did I know they were Italian?

Cos they just looked Italian,  a couple of good looking tall tanned handsome dudes .. stylishly dressed with no sign of the Mafiosa suits.

They are in mid-conversation and I can’t help but hear one guy telling the other ..

“First Emma comes … then I come .. then 2 asses come together ..then I come again .. then the 2 asses come again ..then I come again .. then pee twice then I come again”

I wasn’t the only one with a bemused face listening in.

Then the other guy says

“So thats how you spell Mississippi?”


Good old Chic Murray jokes .. made me smile!

Train Stories – Unwanted Attention


It’s Friday night and I’ve been out after work with some colleagues, a few drinks to celebrate the end of my project and people moving on elsewhere.

By 1030pm, I’ve had enough Peroni that safety my switch kicks in and it’s time to head for home.

I wander down to Argyle Street station heading back to Cambuslang.

The train arrives almost immediately and I board and notice that although it’s sparsely populated each booth is full apart from one at the end.

That will do for me!

As I get to the booth, I notice on the opposite booth a guy about 30,  dark cropped hair,  quite tall,  just a little bit chubby.

I take my seat and face forward,  pulling out my phone to check any messages.

Someone says “How was your night?”  and I look round and the guy is looking at me waiting for a response.

It seemed rude not to reply.

“It was fine mate” and I look back at my phone.

Note the use of the word “mate” .. courtesous, friendly even although the context was brief and dismissive .. i.e. I’ll be friendly but I don’t want to talk.

“Did you do anything special?”

Continue reading “Train Stories – Unwanted Attention”

Train Stories – Einstein?


I see him every day .. well every working day for the past 6 months .. on the 8:39 from Cambuslang to Argyll Street.

People really are creatures of habit.

When I get on at the left hand side of the carriage,  he’s always standing guard on the closed right hand doors.

He’s oblivious to the world,  headphones on and staring at his smart phone.

But he’s guarding the doors on that side because he likes to be first off the train at Argyll Street then rushes to the stairs and the ticket barriers before any of the crowd gets there.

If anyone gets in his way he jostles past them,  then rushes out and off up Miller Street.

He never smiles.

Mid-40s,  quite a fit looking guy,  bald on top and shaved at the sides to finish the look.

Better than than being bald on top and a comb over .. right guys?

Ask any women if you are in doubt,  get it shaved,  don’t be a bald top, hairy sides.

I wonder if his baldness is why he never smiles?

Better grey hair than nay hair?

I usually sit on the first bank of seats,   on the aisle as the windows seats are taken.

I’m a creature of habit too.

But what I’ve noticed about this guy is that he wears the same suit every single day.

I mean every single day .. isn”t that just bizarre?

Not even a dress down Friday like today were most of the office punters are wearing jeans.

His suit is showing fair signs of creasage ..  he’s defintely been wearing it all week.

Do you think he is doing that thing Einstein that did?

According to the urban legend,  he bought all his suits to be the same and didn’t wear socks,   so that he didn’t waste valuable brain-power thinking about what to wear and his socks only got holes anyway?

Nah can’t be .. he’s wearing socks .. I wonder if these are the same ones too?

It’s Friday,  thank feck .. meeting the boys after work .. they want to watch the football.

I’m a Celtic fan,  I really couldn’t care less about the Euros.



Train Stories – Shades? …. #humour

Yesterday I was gibbering about the lovely young guy we met on train,  handsome, charming, articulate, confident but understated.   Turns out he’s a naval aviator,  a pilot to you and me!

We had a good chat and a few laughs on the train to London,  exchanged details as he’s hoping to visit Glasgow in the near future. 

Today sitting on the train heading east towards Edinburgh,  it’s bright but not sunny. I can see its pale yellow glimmer in front of me. 

A young guy gets on and takes the seat across from me, sitting st the aisle facing west away from the sun. 

He’s wearing dark aviator sun glasses which he keeps on his face for the whole journey. 

I’m thinking,  maybe he has a sight issue? 

But when a text arrives he briefly takes them off so that he can look at his phone. 

No sight issue, no black eye. 

Don’t get me wrong,  I’m all for people wearing or doing what they like.  

Guys wearing a dress .. Fine!

Guys wearing funny hats .. Fine!

Girls wearing short skirts .. Perfect!

The current trend for big hairy beards? 

I don’t mind a woman with a beard! 🙂

Well I do .. But that wouldn’t be as funny!

But wearing shades in a dark train?

He couldn’t look less cool if he tried!

Train Stories – Top Gun?!

It’s almost 5pm on Friday afternoon,  unusual for me, I’m on the train heading towards London for the weekend. 

Been on the train since 12, logged into my work as connectivity allows which is pretty rubbish to be honest. 

Sometimes you pass a cell, get 4G just long enough to securely login, then bump it’s gone again.  

Pisses me off,  but fortunately I did enough to warrant billing for the day. 

Remember .. I only pretend that I work for a living!   

At Lancaster, a young man joins the train, noticeably handsome in an all natural, almost too good to be true kinda way. 

Handsome, hunky, healthy bright eyes and a perfect smile. 

If I was a girl ..  

But I’m not so shut it!!  🙂

Anyway,  he sits in our 4 person booth and places The Stand by Stephen King,  on the small table in front of him, a book I read must be 25 years ago. 

A conversation ensues, he’s so young that he’s not even heard of The Shining, Salems Lot, Misery. 

But he’s articulate, charming, well-mannered,  funny in a quietly confident understated way. 

Enough of the praise .. 

Then the conversation turns to what we do,  he’s only leaning to fly jets and started his training on the F35 fighter jet. 

Now if I could live my life over and have my dream job,  that’s what I’d choose to do.  

We chatted for the next few hours, the F35, Euro-Fighter, Harrier Jump Jet etc. 

Then I asked ..  Have you ever do the song in a bar to impress a girl ..

Of course he did ..

And why wouldn’t you!!  🙂

You never close your eyes anymore when I kiss your lips …  

Tran Stories – Happy or Mental? …. #humour

5pm and I’m waiting on the train back to Glasgow from Edinburgh Park.

The sun is splitting the sky and there’s a heavy heat in the air.

Typically .. People are moaning about it being too hot.

This is Scotland fur-fox-ache!

Just think yourself lucky that it’s not pissing down all summer long as usual.

I heard him before I seen him.

It was a meerkat moment!

Continue reading “Tran Stories – Happy or Mental? …. #humour”

Train Stories – Habits? #Humour #Perspective

He’s dressed very smartly,  elegantly even,  casual business style,  open neck shirt,   fitted navy blue jacket which looks as it’s part of a suit,  blue chino trousers and the ubiqitious tan brogues that are popuar with all men of a certain age and style,  lending a sense of purpose despite the otherwise casual look.

He’s sitting diagonally opposite me in the 4 person booth heading towards Edinburgh,  age 38, slim,  recently cut and styled dark hair.

If I was a girl,  I’d say he’s quite handsome.

That’s because he is quite handsome and you don’t have to be a girl to say it .. okay!!

I wonder if the young woman currently sleeping and half leaning against me would think the same?

Continue reading “Train Stories – Habits? #Humour #Perspective”