Wolf – 7 – Games

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She’d had enough of my shit.

I get that,  the only irony being that I’d had enough of my shit too.

I’d been a bad boy,  hands up,  I confess to all my sins .. now can we get back to our normal life?    Please? Continue reading “Wolf – 7 – Games”

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Wolf – 3 -Letting Go?

wolf

Did you know that all wisdom is contained in the Godfather?

That it has rules for life that can be applied to almost any situation.

Friends close, enemies closer?

Not letting your emotions affect your judgement?

She was gone.

After four weeks of hibernation, I eventually told my friends and family. I was hurt, broken-hearted and strangely even felt ashamed although I’d done nothing wrong.

I’d had one week of shock, then two weeks of sleepless nights full of vengeful thoughts and what-ifs.

The final week was acceptance, realising that life has to go on, letting go of the most hurtful aspects, resurfacing and moving on .. or at least trying to.

My emotions were almost a classic case of the Kubler-Ross model of dealing with grief and mostly fitted the standard grieving process for losing a partner.

Continue reading “Wolf – 3 -Letting Go?”

Wolf – 2 – Hurt

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Young love,   It makes you do crazy things.

Like marry your first girlfriend?

Yes, we were probably married too young,  but that doesn’t excuse her behaviour.

What happened?

She cheated on me obviously.

How long had you been together?

We met aged 18,  she wasn’t the first girl I’d kissed but she was the first girl I had sex with.

Why did you get married?

Because we were stupid,  full of the joys of youth and madly in lust with each other.

But that’s not a reason to get married so young?

Yes I know,  I just couldn’t believe that I’d met a girl as gorgeous as her who wanted to be with me.   I didn’t think that I’d meet any one better and after a few months we moved in together then after a year we made it official.

Were you happy?

Actually,  I was.    But my parents weren’t.   My dad had a quiet word with me and said I should be setting up on my own and playing the field for a while before settling down.

Do you think that you should have listened to him?

Obviously,  but that’s easy in hindsight,  at the time we couldn’t keep our hands off each other.

When did it start to go wrong?

It didn’t,  or if it did,  I wasn’t aware that it was.     That’s the thing,  you can’t read other people’s minds,  they can be deceitful and you never know until it’s too late.

How did matters come to a head?   Continue reading “Wolf – 2 – Hurt”

Blind-Sided – 5 – Coffee?

Ellen Barkin
It’s late-o-clock and the clock strikes three.

You’re standing in the kitchen of a strange girls home, not that she’s particularly strange … it’s just that you only met a few hours before.

She’s making tea, even although it was “coffee” that she offered in the car a few minutes earlier.

You’re standing watching her move around the kitchen, pulling out cups and getting the milk from the fridge.

You’re vaguely aware that the sun is starting to rise as you can see a faint yellow glimmer on the slither of horizon visible from her window.

You’re both playing the game of will-she-won’t-she ..

When you know full well that she will.

She didn’t let you come this far so soon to just offer you coffee.

Coffee?

A euphemism for what?

Does it mean more, or is that a presumption on your part?

Continue reading “Blind-Sided – 5 – Coffee?”

Blind-Sided – Part 4

Ellen Barkin
“Her hair is hollow gold, her lips a sweet surprise …”

20 minutes later and we are parked on the street outside her driveway.

She lives 20 minutes from the city centre, just a bit further out than my place, it seemed the right thing to do offering her a run home as she is only 5 minutes drive away.

The right thing to do?

Or wanting more of those kisses?

The song continued on the radio ..

“And she’ll tease, she’ll unease you, all the better just to please you .. ”

Would you believe me when I tell you that there were no kisses on the drive and I wondered if the moment had passed?

We spoke of life, history, why she was out with these friends she barely knows, why her husband was an ex.

Even when I parked, there was no contact, she took over her seat belt and I thought she was getting ready to go.

But she turned to face me, leaning back against the door looking at me but saying nothing.

“She’s precious and she knows just what it takes to make a girl blush .. ”

It’s another moment of truth, a decision point where polite chat about enjoying the night and it was good to meet you possibly becomes something else

I’m playing it cool, going through the niceties, waiting for her to decide.

Don’t you know that its always the girl that decides?

Continue reading “Blind-Sided – Part 4”

Kissing Like Strangers? … #poetry

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Lets just kiss like strangers
Like we used to once before
When we were young and nervous
And I walked you to your door

Lets just kiss like strangers
And smile each time we meet
I’ll hold your hand and open doors
When we are walking down the street

I used to bring you flowers
And I used to drive you home
Then in my dreams I’d kiss you
Although I was sleeping all alone

You used to make me dinner
And you used to pour my beer
But it seems like something’s changed
And I’m losing you I fear

Continue reading “Kissing Like Strangers? … #poetry”