Dads, Daughters and Palative Pride.  

Some day,  I’m going to be giving my daughters away .. Which is a weird phrase because I’ll always have them with me,  right at the core of my heart. 

My two wee girls are growing up,  Laura, 24, the nurse came home from work tonight, tired after a 12 hour shift looking after old people at the end of their life’s at the hospital where she works. 

We sat and had dinner and she told me what it’s really like watching people get closer to dying every day,  being close to them,  watching them fade away then crying for their loss or working 3 12 hours shifts, a couple of days off and the person is gone replaced by someone else and the pattern repeats. 

She told me of the pain that people suffer,  the ridiculous things that the doctors do like issuing antibiotics to prolong the persons life when in reality there is no hope and what the nurses do to provide that last few days of comfort. 

Having lost my own mum a few years ago,  unaware of what was happening when they moved her to a private room,  hoping she was on the mend when what was really happening was they were giving the family some privacy in those last few days as they turned the morphine up and mums breathing got shallower and faded away. 

I’ll tell you this,  I couldn’t do what Laura does and be close to that every day,  watching people fade away, families lose their loved ones. 

She does this for a fraction of what people like me get paid in banking or IT where what we do has no consequence whatsoever. 

But that’s a different story for another day. 

I’m just proud of my son and my daughters, growing up,  making their own way in the world and standing on their own two feet. 

Some day,  my girls might choose to get married and when they do I hope I can give as good a speech as this guy. 

Ps – it’s now 4am, I’m now wide awake,  she’s upstairs sleeping,  today is another day, another 12 hour shift.     I couldn’t be prouder.

Count your blessings …

5am and awake when I should be sleeping. 

Today is the funeral of my good friend Ian’s 14 year old daughter Megan. 

Megan suffered from severe physical and mental disabilities since birth and needed constant care and attention  from Ian and her mum Gillian. 

Technically Ian is not Megan’s dad,  well not in a biological sense but he’s been the only father figure in her life since he and Gillian got together when Megan was aged two. 

Even since the family divorced a few years ago,  Ian has continued to look after,  care and pay maintenance for young Megan.     Everything that a proper dad should do. 

I’m sure you’ll agree that there’s a huge difference between being a father and a dad. 

Sometimes the amount of constant attention that Megan needs has been to the detriment of their other kids when he can’t take them on holiday or the movies as Megan isn’t able to go. 

But that’s what families do,  sometimes your situation isn’t ideal but you get on with it,  do what you need to do and make the best of everything you can.   Knowing that Megan’s time was limited you just try and appreciate them while they are here and do your best for them. 

Today will be unbelievably sad,  it’s against the natural order for any family to bury their child. 

The messages being put out by both Ian and Gillian are that Megan is now in a better place,  im sure that there is some relief that she is no longer suffering.   Then some guilt for even thinking of that relief. 

God bless Megan,  the purest of hearts,  if there is a heaven she’ll be there. 

As a father of three healthy kids,  all 3 at mine last night,   loving, funny, occasional pains in the ass. Sometimes you just don’t know or appreciate how blessed you are. 

Put Your Lights On ..

Hey now, all you sinners
Put your lights on, put your lights on
Hey now, all you lovers
Put your lights on, put your lights on

Because there’s a monster living under my bed
Whispering in my ear
There’s an angel, with a hand on my head
She say’s I’ve got nothing to fear

She says: La illaha illa Allah
We all shine like stars
She says: La illaha illa Allah

We all shine like stars
Then we fade away

How cool is that song .. just love the vibe.

I also like the contrast between the sinner and the lover, the monster and the angel.

Now 2am and can’t sleep .. nothing on my mind, quite happy with life.

There’s an angel, with a hand on my head

She say’s I’ve got nothing to fear

Got my lights on! 🙂