Rocky Horror Sorry?


The Rocky Horror Show plays Glasgow this week.

The show of choice is the Saturday night and its a sell out as expected.

I was looking forward to going ..  I love it,  love the campness and the dressing up and taking part.   It’s great fun  .. I wrote about it somewhere on here before.

But no .. some fecking unreliable useless pr1ck of a friend who had promised to buy the tickets 6 months ago hadn’t bothered his miserable arse.

He’s apologised .. yeah that makes it alright .. only it doesn’t.

I hate that,   imagine someone punched you in the mouth and then apologised .. all very good .. but you’re still left with the swollen lip.

It’s like that ..  sorry just doesn’t cut it.

Ah yeah but it was his poor wife who is in rehab .. again ..

Bollocks .. they had 6 months since it was agreed they would book the tickets.

So you’re not getting off with it.

The least you can do is actually let people know you havent bought the tickets and not let them find out at the last minute when the show is sold out.




Tran Stories – Happy or Mental? …. #humour

5pm and I’m waiting on the train back to Glasgow from Edinburgh Park.

The sun is splitting the sky and there’s a heavy heat in the air.

Typically .. People are moaning about it being too hot.

This is Scotland fur-fox-ache!

Just think yourself lucky that it’s not pissing down all summer long as usual.

I heard him before I seen him.

It was a meerkat moment!

Continue reading “Tran Stories – Happy or Mental? …. #humour”

New York ❤️ Glasgow!

Just spotted a feature on the New York post on the 9 hottest things to do in Glasgow now. 

Got to say they were pretty accurate ranging from free venues like all of the cities museums to the occasionally expensive with the One Devonshire Gardens stay. 

Everyone I know tells me that I would love New York and I do really want to go.   I was brought up on movies featuring those famous city scenes West Side Story, On The Town, Breakfast At Tiffanys, Coogans Bluff, Midnight Cowboy, The Godfather, The French Connection etc. 

But with all this good stuff on my doorstep why would I ever want to leave Glasgow??!!  🙂

A few additional personal personal favourites  – 

The Hydro

Only opened two years ago and is the second most visited concert concert venue outwith New Yorks own Madison Square Gardens. 

That’s not including the other adjacent venues of The SEC and The Clyde Auditorum. Sometimes all three venues have events simultaneously. 

In fact Glasgow has a huge range of concert venues catering for all tastes and sizes including classical at The City Halls, raucous rock at The Barrowland Ballroom and The O2 Academy, terrific tributes at The Ferry or go see the latest unsigned acts at King Tuts where many bands were signed including Oasis. 

Glasgow just rocks. 

The Art Lovers Cafe

Lunch at House For An Art Lover the Charles Rennie McIntosh designed building and add a walk around the beautiful Victorian walled gardens in Bellahouston Park.   

Loch Lomond

 Glasgow is the gateway to the highlands and a mere 30 minute drive will take you to Balmaha on the shores of Loch Lonond.  From there a quick stroll up Conic Hill in 30 minues and if you time it right you can watch the sunset over Loch Lomond as I did recently. 

Celtic Park

When Celtic are playing at home in a  Champions League game,  you won’t get a better atmosphere anywhere.  


See comments from the Barcelona fan who took the video below. 

Ballet Or Beyoncé?

Friday night and would you believe it .. I’m double booked!!

Tonight Beyonce plays the Glasgow Hydro and I have 2 tickets, I also have tickets for Matthew Bourne’s Swan Lake at The Kings Theatre.


I’ve never seen Beyonce live although have to say I’ve fancied her since the first time I laid eyes on her .. what red blooded male wouldn’t?

She is a total babe and seems to have got better with time.

A few years ago, she did a one-off show at the BBC London and it was fantastic .. even although some of the content isn’t exactly for me .. eg Single Ladies .. err naaaw yer awright doll!

But the girl can sing, unlike Rhianna who mimed her way through T In The Park last year .. or even Katy Perry who’s performance on The Voice a few weeks ago was embarrassingly bad.

Who can forget Crazy In Love and Beyonce shaking her booty beside a fire hydrant .. apparently there was a guy in the video, I never noticed.

I promised myself tickets and bought them when they first came out a year ago.

But forgot about them until my daughter Claire reminded me last night.

Now I don’t get called DancingBhoy for nothing, I’ve always enjoyed dancing, I’ve only been to the ballet once before and loved it.

This is the production which featured at the end of the film Billy Elliot which I absolutely love.

So what to do?

Actually it wasn’t difficult, my daughters were both wanting the Beyonce tickets and there was going to be a fight if one didn’t get to go and the other did.

Tonight, I’m meeting them in Glasgow and going for a bite to eat and they’re going to The Hydro and I’ll need to make do with the ballet .. bummer!!

Victims Of Love? – The Erasure Musical?

You say that I could
Show some emotion
But I’ve been
Keeping secrets from you
Cos I can see through
All your sweet talk
And all of your affection untrue
I’m gonna find you out
If you scream and I shout
You won’t break down my protection

I don’t wanna look
Like some kind of fool
I don’t wanna break
My heart over you
I’m building a wall
Every day it’s getting higher
This time I won’t end up
Another victim of love

I woke up with that song playing on my iphone in random mode, now I can’t get the tune out of my head!

I love it when I hear a song that I’ve not heard for ages, especially an upbeat uplifting song on a friday when I’m feeling good.

I’m still singing it, hopefully I’ve put it in your head too.

Erasure possibly the must overtly gay band on the planet, but does that matter?

Not at all, their songs convey every human emotion – love lust loss agony – everything you experience whether you are gay or straight.

A thought occurred to me .. Why has there never been a musical based on the songs of Erasure?

Jeez if the can do it for The Proclaimers .. then why not?

Have a look at their greatest hits, Respect, Love to Hate You, Sometimes, Oh L’Amour, Victims of Love etc

The story would more or less write itself ..

2 gay guys .. neitther of whom are camp. ( Cos unlike the stereo-typing .. not all gay guys are camp )

Andy – brought up in rough area, under-priviledged, tough, hardened, always been out, lives in crap flat, experiments with drugs and part of “the scene”.

Ben – posh guy, privledged background, gay but scared to come out. Has family expectations and sees a few guirls to keep the parents happy.

Ben on a Christmas night refuses the advances of young female co-worker coming on to him, he’s slightly drunk and wanders into a gay club by mistake on purpose.

Ben is both fascinated and repulsed by the going ons in the club, men openly gay, kissing, fondling.. never mind whats happening in the loos!

Andy approaches him at the bar, drunken chmistry ensues but no physical contact until they end back at Andys flat.

( Sometimes )

Ben wants to be like Andy, he wants to be cool and not afraid to speak his mind.

Andy likes Ben and is interested to see how the other half live and pays a visit to Ben’s house pretending to be his straight friend on Bens wishes, But Andy despises their snobbery and middle-class values and can’t help but be what he is and lets Bens parents know.

There then ensues a drama of Ben trying to live up to his family expectations whilst living a secret life with Andy.

Andy has money related issues .. so when Ben is not there, he fucks a few men for money or cash in kind.

One morning, Ben appears at his Andys flat just as some older guy is leaving. A fight ensues and Ben stomrs off hurt and in the huff.

( Love To Hate You )

The straight” hard-man that Andy was seeing comes back and beats him up and leaves him hospitalised.

( Victims Of Love -melancholic piano version )

Andy needs support which Ben offers and the relationship continues which Ben keeps secret and Andy resents this.

Andy pressurised by Ben tellis his mum that he’s gay.

His mother has always known and cries and hugs him saying that she will speak with his father.

She tells his dad who get angry and has internal turmoil as his son should be straight.

( Respect )

Finale .. will Ben come out to his family so that he and Andy can live happily ever after?

Of course he does!

His mother has always known and sheds tears of joy.

His father resented it earlier but accepts it as he loves his boy more than anything .. he just didn’t want him to be on the scene and is happier that he is with someone that he loves.

( Oh L’Amour )

If this musical ever happens as above then I’m claiming copyright!! 🙂

Anyhoo – I love dancing to Erasure and have saw them live a few times .. Andy Bell is an amazing character on stage, Vince Clarke is so talented but quietly anonymous.

Friday night and I want to dance .. as long as it moves me I’m on the floor.

But no Christmas nights out for me, its my daughters School Christmas Prom and I’m running her there and back and she’s at mine the rest of teh weekend.

I’ll use the time she is at her dance to get started with the Christmas shopping.

T In The Park Residents!!

Sooo … how was T In The Park?

Fan-add your explitive of choice -tastic!!

T In The Park 2013 was the most amazing experience.

Just home and feeling so chilled out that I can’t wait to do it all again!

4 days in the Scottish sunshine, can you believe that . no rain for 4 days?

I’m golden brown and smiling like a trippy hippy.

My only disappointment was it took me all these years to go to a music festival.

Right .. serious time.

The pod we booked was shit and I mean shit, a glorified dog-kennel. Much smaller than it looked on the web, we should have checked the measurements. But lesson learned, we won’t be doing that again.

To be fair, the pod staff were nice, lots of free tea and coffee, it was just that we couldn’t stand up in the place and that the beds were tiny.

There were lots of people who were happy with that set up, probably still good value for money and far superior to the tented experience I’ll describe below plus having access to all of the facilties of The Residence.

Fortunately, as we arrived on Thursday night ahead of the curve, we were able to upgrade to a huge Belle Tent with proper beds, Egyptian sheets and normal electrical plugs, which wasn’t much use to us as we hadn’t brought anything, but those nice people at Yurtel supplied us with a kettle.

Yurtel website

The Residence .. as the posh camping area is known .. is a fantasticlly wonderful, chilled out place with most imporantly lots of space to lie around sunbathing in the grass listening to the DJ mixing the tunes.

All the basics were covered, proper toilets and showers, no queues and great food at prices lower than the main arena.

In addition to the above, purchasing a ticket to The Residence gives you access to the VIP area at the far end of the main arena near the main stage with its proper loos, decent food and sheltered grassy area away from the mad crowds outside.

By contrast, my friends son was staying in the camping site which looked like a Cambodian Refugee Tent Village only worse.

At first it looked fine, then as more people arrived there was no space between the tents, overlapping guy-ropes etc.

Thats okay, if you’re 20 something and don’t care .. until someone steals your sleeping bag while you are in the main arena and later while you are sleeping on the ground, you are rudely awakened by someone pissing on your tent.

But worse, the toilet and shower facilities were shocking, huge queues to go in a smelly box .. lets not go there.

If you ever go … Reside .. do not camp.

Oh yeah .. there was a lot of music playing too .. see the link in my previous blog. but my personal highlights are …

Friday .. the show was opened by The Proclaimers .. the proverbial Scottish band often wheeled out for these occasions such as football or rugby cup-finals, anything where you want the crowd fiured up behind the team … but you know what .. these guys havne’t lasted the dinstance for nothing. They know how to get a crowd going and having not heard it for a long while Sunshine on Leith brought a tear to this old somewhat cynical eye.

“Your beauty and kindness, made tears clear my blindess
While I’m worth my room on this earth, I will be with you”

Quickly followed by Texas doing lots of hits and plugging the nerw album.

Emili Sandie, how many singles must have that girl have off her album? Go buy it. She can sing, play and looks beautiful.

Staeve Mason at the smaller Transmission stage was impressive, will probably buy his album. Or at least give it a listen on iTunes and then decide.

The closing acts all simulteneously were Mumford and Sons, CAlvin Harris and Kraftwerk. My choice was Kraftwerk but was outnumbered!

Calvin Harris .. light show. .. huge bass .. could have been a club anywhere .. personally I found it boring and full of neds/yobs/chavs .. but they seemd to enjoy it .. so we left them to it.

Mumford and sons .. talented musicians but far too same-ish for me. But a few great songs in there that had the crowd jumping.

Guess how drunk I was on the way home … 3/10 .. just chilled was a good day.

Saturday .. lay iun the sun .. first act James Arthur from the X-Factor on at 1ish. So we skipped that.

The Fratellis another fine Scottish band got the crowd going, all my favourites including Whislte For The Choir and Chelsea Dagger.

Then Deacon Blue .. too many hits to list here, but my favoruites were Loaded, Fergus Played The Blues and Dignity, .. Rikki Ross made a point of thanking the young crowd for being so welcoming, but in reality, the youngsters were down the front, the oldies ( like me) were up the back and we sang every word. Even the yougsters beside us were singing and dancing along, so many forgotten hits from these Scottish Legends.

Which reminds me …. Deacon Blue are playing The Hydro when it opens soon .. they just put their tickets right up my priority list.

If you happened to be Scottish and were around in the 80s for their Raintown album .. go get them!

The Lumineers – a band I’d never heard before .. chilled proper musicans and a cool experssive lead singer, I’m downloading their album later.

Paloma Faith .. cool lady, saw her before, she’s whacky but the girl is talented.

The Script .. were never favourites, I had thought they were over hyped and wondered what all the fuss was about. But I was wrong, Danny can rock a crowd, he’s a mix between the Robbie Williams and Bono. Serious, fun, audacious and completely self assured. When he asked for some girl with an ex-boyfriend to pass him their phone then called the guy and sang to him .. some song about not needing you and having moved on … fantastic .. he had the crowd going wild. Especially the women but thats not hard with his Celtic good looks.

Headline time .. the crowd waited .. and waited .. Rhianna was due anytime .. anytime.

And was it worth the wait .. Was it feck!

She lip-synched or at least as the mike was live she appeared to be singing over her own vocals on backing track. Okay so we get that it can be hard to sing in tune while your dancing but you were only shaking your ass and every other person was doing it.

The first 40 minutes were boring, Rhianna being overtly sexual, pleasing the wee girls next to me with her childish lyrics about licking the cream of the lollipop .. but simultenously the least sexy women in the venue.

Sexy isn’t being overt .. its being discreet, mysterious, anticipating .. she has a lot to learn including how to sing properly.

To be fair .. the last 30 minutes of her singles had the place jumping.

If you don’t want to dance to We Found Love in a Hopeless Place .. then check your pulse and call a paramedic.

Saturday was a fab day .. came home chilled, tired and was out like a light. Drunk factor 3/10 again.

Sunday .. for me Sunday was always going to be the biggie based on the line-up and it didn’t disappoint.

The day start of with the soul and funk legends that are Earth Wid and Fire .. 3 of the original members who have been together playing for 41 years and wow can they still play some grooves. Lead vocalist Maurice White still has a wonderful gravelly soul voice which has probably only got better with time.

We got there slightly late, quite a big turn-out for them so were at the back, dancing aroudn with a mix of oldies and youngsters alll having a ball and singing along with all the hits. Maurice had the crowd going, just a favbulous feel good experience and was delighted to hear September .. it made my day.

We sat in the grass at the back of the huge crowd for Ocean Colour Scene, Rita Ora and Two Door Cinema club,.

Ocean Colour Scene, 25 years on the go, know how to rock a stadium.
Rita Ora, still can’t in awe that she’s attained fame so soon, grateful to be here and put on a show.
Two door Cinema Club. I only knew one of their songs, but found their songs too similar and written ot a formula.

Then it was time to head down to King Tuts Wah-Wah Hut for the act I was probably looking forward to most of all. Johhny Marr, guitarist with The Smiths, The The, Electronic, The Cribs, Johnny Marr And The Healers.

He’s on his own now, but this man has played guitar r produced too many songs to list, personal higlights from last night include, Getting Away With It, Stop Me, Big-Mouth Strikes Again, There is A Light That Never Goes Out, How Soon is Now

The crowd singing along to the latter song there … was a near religous expoerience.

“I am human and I need to be loved
just like everybody else does”

Love it.

Then back to the main arena for the closing headliners .. Stereophoinics and The Killers.

Steophonics were fab, I’ve saw them a few times, maybe to many times, but they had the huge crowd singing along with Have A Nice Day and up on their feet dancing for my favourite of theirs Dakota.

The closing act The Killers … hhhmmm fantastic and disappointing. I I saw them twice last year as noted in this blog at the time. both time then they were fantastic .. but this time they seemed to play a few fillers which had the crowd slump a little.

Loved their slight acoustic version of Human before it came back and hit us full on and the crowd were on their feet.

All the hits were there for the big finish and e went home smiling .. drunk factor .. 0/10 .. I was driving.

Fortunately the other benefit of being at The Residence is you have a separate exit and on the motorway in 5 minutes and back home in under an hour.

Sooo .. in summary .. I had a wonderful chilled-out time, great food, just the right amount of booze, dancing and singing to lots of my favouite music.

if you are 40+ and thought that music festivals were for youngsters.

Sure they are .. but they are for us oldies too .. so get out there and do it.

But book The Residence and do it in style!

See you there next year!

Monday – Just Like Fred Astaire!

Doctor, what is happening to me?
Palpitations, my mind is diseased
Even my vision is impaired
I’m losing my hair
Cos when I hold her in my arms
I feel like Fred Astiare

As you might guess, my weekend was pretty good, better than good, actually it was superb.

Friday night with my best mate watching some Bowie tribute band and singing evey word, apart from Under Pressure which is never a Bowie song and is total pants. As is everything after Scary Monsters until his latest album which is excellent and so reminiscent of his Berlin period.

But Saturday .. oh wow .. where to begin!!

Saturday … my new partner in fun and I arrived at Edinburgh in the early afternoon. Chatting and laughing on the train like over-excited schoolchildren. We dumped our cases at the hotel. Then went for a late lunch early dinner at The Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, a short waslk from the hotel and a great pub for food and chat.

We wanted to check out the lay of the land for going to The Rocky Horror Show at The Playhouse later that evening.

Dinner and a few drinks later, we were back in the room time to get ready for the evenings performance,

Hhhhhmmmm . evenings performance .. lets just leave it at that.

I think we looked fantastic, her dressed in a French Maid outfit and me as Doctor Frank N Furter, full make-up, basque, stockings …heels. My modesty covered with the surgeons gown and rubber gloves .. gorgeous!!!

We did look a fine sight as we walked from the hotel to the venue, where many similarly adorned creatures were out for a night of fun.

The show was everything I hoped it would be, great fun and lots of laughs. I’ve booked the Glasgow show in August already.

Afterwards in CC Blooms, the gay club next door, we just fitted in with all the other people dressed for the night, whether they were at the show or not.

Dancing til god knows when then limping home in my heels …

Confession time .. I had to take them off and walk back along York Place in my stockinged soles!

How do you girls walk in those things? 🙂

What a brilliant night.

You won’t be surprised to hear that both of were exhausted last night. Home, back into parent-mode, early nights.

I am a happy bhoy!

I believe in happiness
I believe in love
I believe she fell to earth
from somewhere high above
I believe in Hollywood
Don’t believe that love must bring despair
Cos when I hold her in my arms
I feel like Fred Astaire

This has to be one my favourite James songs .. I can’t wait to see them later this year at the Glasgow SEC, this clip is from the Glasgow Royal Concert Hall 2 years ago, fantastic show and if you look very closely I’m in there somewhere.