Is It Okay For Straight Guys To Call Other Guys Attractive?

If you occasionally read these pages, you may know that I’ve had a bit of a time of it recently.

The flu about 6 weeks ago totally floored me and the cold last week wasn’t too good but didn’t keep me off my work.

It takes a lot to floor us self employed contractors with daughters to fund!

On Friday night, I was pretty bad again, bad enough to call NHS24 and arrange an appointment with the out of hours GP service down at the Victoria Hospital.

So there I was at 10pm on Friday night, waiting my turn in amongst the other folks with coughs and running noses, a bit of a change from my usual drinking, dancing or going to concerts.

Finally I got the call .. and would you believe that it was the same doctor I’d had the last time when I went down with the flu 6 weeks ago.

He’s a very good looking fella … early 30s, tall, handsome, charming mannerism and obviously intelligent and educated.

( Reminded me of myself when I was younger!! 🙂 )

He remembered me from last time as while he did a few standard checks we had a bit of a chat about cars etc.

Now I’ve got to tell you girls .. if I was a gal .. or if I had an interest in guys .. I’d be faking the cold on a Friday night and heading down to The Vicky to see young Dr R!! 🙂

I’ve had a laugh about it with a few friends over the weekend .. I recommend the Vicky on a Friday night if they don’t have a date!!

They know me well enough to know, that I know who I am and it’s not often that I’d say that a guy was attractive.

In fact, looking around my office right now, four or five hundred people, mainly men with a few women dotted about the place.

I can’t say that I think any guy in this place .. including myself .. is particularly attractive .. or particularly unattractive for that matter.

So my comments on the young Dr are particularly different for this guy …not that I’m questioning my sexuality .. just my inability to keep my mouth shut!! 🙂

So is it okay for a straight guy to call another guy attractive?

Of course it is .. just don’t be doing it too often or people may get the wrong idea!!

Changing the subject …

Came across this oldie but goodie when playing my iPhone in the car last night .. it still makes me want to dance .. I’m definitely on the mend!

Breathe .. Dance .. Work .. Live .. Love .. but never ever Slave .. to the Rhythm!

Dads, Daughters and sticking your foot in it!! #NeilFinn @GWLkettle

4am and I’m wide awake again … Not good!!

That’s been every night ( morning)?? ) this week and turning into a bit of a habit.

It’s not as if there’s anything on my mind, life is good in a parked in neutral all revved up and no place to go kind of way.

The Neil Finn concert on Wednesday was terrific, much better than the last time I seen him. He’s an incredibly talented musician, an antipodean version of Paul Weller with a sense of humour implant.

His second encore on stage by himself playing guitar or piano showed what a virtuoso that the man is. The band were incredibly young and talented and the vocal talents of Lisa Tomlinson were stunning, that girl can belt out a tune.

I was particularly pleased with the piano version of Don’t Dream It’s Over and delighted with the changed intro with the audience participation of Fall At Your Feet, my personal favourite of his.

Apart from that it’s been a shit week, I was already awake at this time yesterday when Claire rushed to the loo to be sick, really quite worried about her. Had her at the GP service the other night but she’s getting worse rather than better.

Last night Laura came home crying because she bumped her car, nothing major but her fault and will cost her money that she can’t afford.

What’s a dad to do … ? 🙂

I calmed her down, reassured her that no one was hurt so it didn’t matter and it was only a minor bump, told her I’d take care if it.

I had her dinner ready for her coming in from work, 12 hour shifts at the hospital is too long a day to be making your own tea and she has too eat.

We opened a bottle of pear cider, her favourite and things were going nicely until I stuck my big size 9s in it … I didn’t mean to upset her, she knows I’m proud of her and all that she’s achieved.

But sometimes I’m a complete arse and honesty isn’t always the best policy when daughters verging on tears are concerned.

it was a minor faux passé on my part, more to do with encouraging my other daughter to do well in her highers and asking what she wanted to do afterwards.

There were more tears but after explanations we did sort things out,

Dads and their big mouths eh?

When will we ever learn?

If Laura ever reads this, which I hope she does someday when I’m not around, I hope she knows I’m sorry and how proud I am of her.

Anyway it’s now after 5am, one finger typing on an iPad is way too slow … I have a temperature and a chesty cough deep in my lungs ..

There’s just enough time to down some paracetamol and the remnants of last nights cider … Pure class eh … And hopefully grab another hours sleep before the daily grind.

Ps – a wee hello to Glasgow Woman’s Library @GWLkettle who are my first real followers on twitter. I enjoy reading your pages ladies and respect that you provide a safe place for vulnerable women but why women writers only?

Would it be acceptable to have men only places? I thought the days of men only golf clubs and such exclusivity were behind us? Should we not be removing barriers rather than building them?

Or is that me doing the big size 9 thing again? 🙂

Whenever I Fall .. #NeilFinn #CrowdedHouse

What is the most angst ridden song that you have ever heard?

A quick list off the top of my head …

Creep – Radiohead
Say Something – A Great Big World
Wild Horses – The Rolling Stones
Cry Me A River – Julie London
Feel – Robbie Williams
Love Will Tear Us Apart – Joy Division

Angst seems to be timeless and part of the human condition and not all love songs are about lust or loss.

It takes a particular skill and life experience to create these words of despair and reflection.

My particular favourite is Fall At Your Feet by Crowded House.

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/crowdedhouse/fallatyourfeet.html

That song, ranks of desperation, the complete willingness to forget yourself for someone else even although your instinct tells you that they aren’t really interested.

Desperate!!

If you care about someone more than they care about you, then you put yourself in a very vulnerable position.

If I had a friend who was in such a situation, I’d be telling him or her to let it go.

If it’s for you then it will happen .. Sometimes you have to put yourself first, gather up your strength and let a damaging or one-sided relationship go.

If it’s meant to be it will happen, but it has to be respectful and balanced and not one person left at the mercy of another.

Tonight, Neil Finn from Crowded House plays Glasgow Royal Concert Hall.

I’m not the biggest Crowded House fan, but I’m really looking forward to the gig particularly after seeing Neil play his new songs on Jools Holland last night.

If he plays that one song, it will make my night and be worth the ticket price alone.

What are you tweeting about?

So what’s all that fuss about twitter?

I just joined last week but can’t help but feel that I’m missing something.

I’ve signed up for a few different news feeds, Glasgow Scottish Uk World news. My favourite bands and my football team.

But right now sitting in the Glasgow sunshine enjoying its warmth on my face. I can’t really see the benefits outside a news feed

What are you supposed to do?

Read the news and comment? Comment about your favourite music with strangers? Would you want to?

At least it’s not as inane as Facebook.

Today Easter Sunday and 4 women in my extended family have told the world or anyone listening that they are glad that Lent is over and they’re back on the chocolate/crisps/wine ..,

Good for them but is that it, is that their contribution?

You know it’s not, Facebook is for family, pics of kids, babies, family events … I do enjoy seeing people update that I don’t see as often as I’d like.

Right note to self stop being a grumpy old bastard!!

Actually I’m not at all, feeling happy chilled and relaxed. The wedding was fantastic on Friday and I had a really good day with family and friends rolling over til yesterday.

So sitting here in the sunshine listening to music and drinking tea is just what I need.

Got to add the 4 women mentioned above were all looking fantastic at the wedding. Giving up your poison of choice for a short period definitely had a good effect.

Their pics looked great on Facebook!

Love this song, but can’t decide if I prefer it with or without Christina.

Welcome back old friend ..

Welcome home old friend, It’s been a long time since we’ve seen your bright shiny face.

Why don’t you take off your winter jacket?

You will light us up with your presence and we will rejoice and bathe in your warmth.

Stay a while.

The sun is shining over Glasgow today and not a cloud in the sky.

What a day for a white wedding.

Sunset over my back garden last night ..

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White Wedding?

The thing about working in a bank is …

You get bank holidays!!

Yaaay!!

The weekend starts here and boy do I need it .. I’ve been that busy that I haven’t been able to look forward to it or plan for it.

But I have a wedding tomorrow, a family member and her partner tying the knot after 4 years together.

Both of them in their mid-late 40s, neither of them have been married before or have kids.

Good for them, it must be a hell of a lot less complicated than getting together with exes and kids to deal with on one side if not both.

Mid-40s and finally met the one …

But do you believe it?

The one?

At their age?

Are you kidding!!

Aaaach … I’m just being cynical. actually I only really know one side of the relationship and I would agree that she has met the one and wish them well.

They are going for the full white wedding and the bride has been losing weight for months .. that was until her hen nights kicked off a few weeks ago!

My weekend starts NOW .. or when I leave here at 6.

Home, dinner, making sure that my suit ,shirt shoes are all ready for the big day.

Shame it’s not the kilt, I love wearing my kilt and don’t do it often enough but the groom is wearing a morning suit instead.

A big family do in a hotel out on the east coast, looking forward to seeing everyone.

Staying over, and knowing my lot we will probably be drinking, dancing and singing til the early hours.

Ye really canny beat a good wedding!!

Now what other cousins do I know that I can set up !!?

Nice acoustic version of the Billy Idol song.

Online Dating – Age, Attraction and Acceptance?

Do you remember when you were young?

You met a girl .. or a guy .. fancied them like mad, thought about them all the time and couldn’t wait to see them again.

When you did, you were all over each other, it was lust not love, but you didn’t know that then.. it just worked.

Maybe the relationship developed, maybe you married them or someone else .. life was good ..you were young and had your whole life ahead of you.

Then .. time passes ..

Somehow it all went tits up.

Your fault or their fault, it doesn’t matter, you can’t live the rest of your life blaming the other person.

So you move on.

You’re a certain age, maybe you have kids, maybe you don’t and you’re out there looking for another partner.

My experience .. and I’ve never articulated this before so bear with me. Is that if you’re still physically attractive then you are more likely to meet physically attractive partners.

You’ve saw them in the street, good-looking couples, or not so attractive couples, people seem to find their own level and exceptions are fairly rare.

Don’t get me wrong, physical attraction isn’t everything, there has to be more … but it’s one helluva a start and for me, if it’s not there then forget it!

But as you know, attraction is a two-way street!!

Here’s my worry .. and having spoke to various people, online, family, friends, male and female, most of us have it, even if we don’t vocalise it.

The fear of getting OLD.

The fear of getting OLD and if not ugly certainly less attractive to the people that we still find attractive.

I wrote about that fear a while ago after speaking to a female friend of mine who was feeling the weight of her age upon her

https://dancingbhoy.wordpress.com/2013/10/23/dont-be-too-harsh-on-yourself/

Now here is your definition of hell on earth .. getting old and ugly and being surrounded by attractive people but you can’t get any!!

Try walking down your high street today .. rate every single person you see as yes or no .. most of the yeses will be younger than you. We set our attraction age bracket to our own years + a few, so as we get older, then the better looking people are all younger .. This is the reason that so many people online lie about their age.

So what’s the future?

Ultimately, in a relationship, at some point in the future if you are together in your 80s and even if your partner is in their 70s .. physical attraction is largely ( totally!! ) gone.

If you’re lucky, you are with someone that you love for them, for the love they give you, for the shared memories, all the things that you’ve done in your life together.

But what happens between now and then ..

If you think about it, you can’t build shared memories if you aren’t actually together for any length of time, you need to be physically fit and capable to have done things together. Went on holiday, climbed mountains, danced, partied, integrated your family with theirs, maybe had a last minute baby .. that is if you are really really lucky.

As for meeting someone new ..

We all have to be realistic about our expectations, maybe realise that everyone of a certain age has imperfections just like ourselves and stop judging people on that basis.

As I mentioned earlier, there has to be more. Personality, humour, similar outlooks on life, loyalty even financial compatibility.

What I’m realising now is that as we get older, less physically perfect ( as if we ever were!! ) .. then we should stop looking for it in potential partners.

We need to learn to accept people for what and who they are and not for what we want them to be.

We also need to learn to accept ourselves for who we are now, not think of ourselves as who we were when we were 20 years old.

Yeah yeah .. that’s all good in theory .. but I’m still looking for a pretty face, a shapely body, great tits and a sexy ass!! 🙂

——-

A wee forgotten gem from Patti Smith cowritten by Bruce Springsteen – bet you didn’t know that!!

Online Dating – I’m Only Dancing!!

Hey you ..

How was the weekend?  As good as mine?  Better?

Lets say that mines was a mixed bag of fun, friends, family and football .. a few ups and doons but no too shabby!

I didn’t get to see The Stones on Friday,  pretty disappointed about it but c’est la vie,  had a nice wee night in instead, drinking tea, talking crap and playing piano.

Thats the rock”n’roll life that I live!

Nice enough wee night,  but I was disappointed about not seeing the band.

Saturday and Sunday family .. time with my dad is always well spent,  seeing my youngest brothers new baby and having fun with my god-daughter.

We watched some new team that play in blue down Ibrox way being put to the sword by the football giants that are Dundee United so it wasn’t all bad!!

Anyhoo .. Kind of decided to give up on the dating scene .. still online chatting to people,  but its hard work,  sometimes its as if people just want to chat and I will confess that as a dad with 2 daughters at home I spend a lot of time on my own,  like right now,  so sometimes a chat is just whats needed.

Time spent with a kindred soul .. but spending time in real life has to be much better right?

One of the problems with dating sites is that you invest time and effort in someone and then if for some reasons .. your choice or theirs .. it runs out of steam then thats time wasted .. and with my age and circumstances I can’t really afford that.

As it happens I received a new email with the following blurb .. from meetville.com

Do not chase people .. Work hard and be you .. The right people who belong in your life will come find you and stay.   Do your thing.

I like that,  appeals to me,  I’m sure that I’ve mentioned Meetup.com on here before,  maybe its time to give the dating sites a miss and spend time with kindred spirits doing the things I enjoy rather than chasing people who are too busy doing the things that they enjoy.

Time to give meetup.com more of an effort,  theres a few clubs of interest,  walking, badminton, music and going to gigs .. sounds just what I need.

If I can find the time!!   🙂

Woke up this morning with the following tune in my head ..  it reminded me how great that album is .. a few Bowie tribute acts playing Glasgow soon, including The Sensational David Bowie Tribute act at the ABC.

They are a Glasgow based band,  well okay Airdrie and in my opinion as a lifelong Bowie fan, better than any of the other Bowie tributes that visit Glasgow.  The main man big John really lives the dream and puts on a fantastic show.

Need to get tickets organised.

 

 

 

Online Dating – Honky Tonk Women?

4am and I should be sleeping …

House in darkness and silence but I’m wide awake.

Rolled over and reached for my iPad … Big mistake!!

I should have gone the other way and closed my eyes.

Scanning through my newsfeed on twitter I came across the following link ..

http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/real-life/delve-world-online-dating-provide-3398933

Now as an occasional read frequent browser of these sites, this grabbed my attention, particularly as the author writes about the 2 dating sites that I’ve dabbled with I.e. match.com and POF.com

The article initially claims to be a guide to avoiding cyber freaks and weirdos and the author tells of her experiences on both of these sites plus Tinder a relatively new free site.

I read the article with some surprise, I’d heard bad reports over the years particularly about plenty of fish which should really be avoided unless you’re desperate or prepared to run the gauntlet of abuse from reprobates that haunt this free site.

But it has to be said POF has it’s faults .. Big ones … But from my experience there are more people there than on match.com. The other downside of match is that many people have created a free profile but can’t actually respond to your messages as they don’t have a paid subscription.

Match on the other hand does provide quality rather than quantity. But that doesn’t stop a sleaze ball who doesn’t mind paying the subscription.

What struck me most from the article is the amount of smut and abuse that a woman endures to get a date … Guys who without any preamble make their desires clear and if rejected become abusive or worse.

I’ve heard many stories of women being sent pictures of make genitilia and that includes from men where there has been no prior contact.

Would they do this in a bar or the street? Just because it’s online doesn’t lesson the offence in my opinion.

But Is this vulgarity the norm? What happened to charm? Is romance really dead?

Didn’t these guys learn anything from life?

Sliowly slowly but not too slow!!

The author concludes her article as follows …

“A month later I’ve concluded some may find love online. But, for me, the waters are muddied by all the smut.

The positive is there are definitely plenty of fish in the sea, ladies. You just have to cast your line and be prepared to throw lots back in.”

As it happens I agree with her, but she misses the point as although she’s told us if her experiences, she hasn’t actually told you how to avoid the freaks.

Maybe the answer is don’t do it .. Or grow a thick skin. Neither of which are ideal when you are a certain age and your circumstances don’t allow you the opportunity to meet people on a regular basis.

I’ve wrote many stories about my online dating experiences, just search dating or click the link on the sidebar for more. In the following article re my friend being catfished I considered creating a female profile or three to investigate these sites from a woman’s point of view and more likely to do that for fun now. .

https://dancingbhoy.wordpress.com/2013/11/19/catfishing-lovers-or-liars/

Once upon a time I also wrote an article called Dating Tips For Girls, how to spot the cheats and liars, the game players and guys that are parallel dating.

Parallel dating as opposed to serial dating. Think about it!!

I’ll really need to stick the article on here.

Tonight, Friday and would you believe I have a date … Yeah can you believe it??!!

We are going to see a Rolling Stones tribute act at The Ferry, sounds like fun!

It’s now 530am… Time to make tea .. Have a great weekend.

http://www.thestones.co.uk/

I Got You – Let’s Live It Up!!

A wee blast from the past today, I was flipping through my iPhone playing random track and came across the following 2 bands from the land down under!

I always thought these sounded quite similar with a similar electro-pop beat, but now they sound so different.

Come to think of it my iPhone is still full of those 80s tunes that always make me smile and want to dance.

Groove Me – Fern Kinney
Teardrops – Womack & Womack …. often mistaken for Bobby Womack but actually featured Bobby’s brother Cecil
Relax – Frankie Goes To Hollywood.
Psycho Killer – Talking Heads

All great upbeat tunes from the 80s and reminders of many Saturday nights spent bouncing around The Savoy ( AKA The Swavvy Savvy ) in Sauchiehall Street Glasgow,

Happy Daze!! J

Met my ex-missus there .. dancing to Robert Palmer .. Some Guys Have All The Luck .. yeah really!! J

But while I remember, Neil Finn from Split Enz and Crowded House is playing Glasgow Royal Concert Hall soon (23rd April )

I’ve saw him a few times previously, he does all the oldies as well as punt the new album, and definitely worth seeing.