Both Sides Maybe? …. #Poetry #Humour

Saturday morning and I’m up before the Monday to Friday 630am alarm.

Love the new painting Another Married Man by Jack Vettriano.

I met him once, he smiled and called me a “dirty bastard!”

Takes one to know one! 🙂

Truth be told, I think we both just appreciate the female form.

Question – What would Donald Trump say about that ladies derrière?

I’d have to agree with him.

https://www.jackvettriano.com/shop/another-married-man/

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Train Stories – Contagious. 

As we got on the train together she bumped me for a moment then I held back and let her pass as gentlemen do.

She was just that little bit pushy, her need or urgency to get in and grab a seat seemed greater than mine.

She’s sitting across from me now.

Late 40s, long dark hair, slim, probably a bit too slim.

Yep that’s right, being too slim is a real thing.

Personally I don’t know many guys who like skinny women.

Slim is good as long as there is shape, curves, hips, tits, arse.

But not too curvy, not curves on curves. That’s just excessive fat.

I know this one guy who was married to a skinny girl with a straight up and down boyish figure.  Continue reading “Train Stories – Contagious. “

The Sweeter The Tune?

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She was a babe in her day
But that day isn’t today
Or even yesterday
Not even 10 years ago
When she was 40

She’s a cougar
A slinky sexy cat on heat
Who looks at me
Like I’m fresh meat
She smiles her perfect smile
But I was only joking
Looking for some fun

She touches my arm
As she tells me of
All the things she likes
That I like too

Then licks her lips as I reply
Holding my eye
I wonder what else
She’d like to hold
Later
Maybe?

Continue reading “The Sweeter The Tune?”

The Illusion Of Glamour?

  
“The night is dark and full of terrors” is the chant she used as she held service to Stannis and his men. 

The night was certainly full of terrors in the first episode of the new Game Of Thrones last night. 

The character Melisandre is revealed to be an ancient hag using her magic to appear like a beautiful woman. 

An interesting article below on last nights final scene.    The article asks is this not what all women do with their make-up and treatments to appear younger than they are?

Melisandre is obviously an extreme case,  but the sight of a naked old lady on tv was both shocking and sad. The look in her eye as she revealed herself standing naked before the camera, empty breasts and stomach drooping,  her once thick glossy hair now thin and white. 

The illusion of glamour. 

It reminded me of someone that I used to know!

I’m not being deliberately unkind,  fake tan, botox, droopy tits in a good bra,  the works.  

She was a good looking girl, at surface level and definitely a stunner when she was younger. 

I wondered if her desperation to look younger was directly proportionate to how attractive she was in her younger day?

That because she had once been beautiful, she wanted to claw it back as much as possible. 

It took a long time to see her naked and the first time I did, she cried, revealing herself hadn’t been easy for her. 

As a guy, we are expected to accept our women as they are, yet simultaneously appreciate them putting on their public face, hair, makeup. 

It only leads to these moments of self inflicted trauma such as these when you get to see below the mask. 

I have no idea why women feel like they have to make this huge effort to look younger or more glamorous. 

Not that I don’t appreciate it. 

What I do know, is that this illusion is skin deep and shallow.  

A new guy will often be disappointed when after initial dating, his girl reveals herself.   

Make up is one thing, but the wonderbra and spandex have a lot to answer for. 

It’s the hook of keeping the guy interested long enough to buy into a deal that he won’t run away from when he sees what’s really on the table. 

That by that time he likes her for her personality not just her looks. 

Might happen for a while, but the truth has a habit of catching up with us.  

Thing is,  most guys of a certain age are realistic in their expectations,  we appreciate the effort but don’t expect perfection. 

Here’s a thing guys learn as they get older ..  that they aren’t perfect either. 

It gives a perspective we didn’t have in our younger day, a willingness to accept less than perfect because we aren’t perfect ourselves. 

But there’s truth,  there’s limits,   You either find someone physically attractive or you don’t.    

You can’t force attraction. 

She gets up in the morning and goes to the bathroom,  as she walks round the bed,  you open sleepy eyes and watch her move,  her breasts jiggle, you subconsciously appreciate her hip to waist ratio even if she is carrying a few extra pounds. 

Who wants a skinny chick anyway?

While she’s in the bathroom you awake,  you’re cock rising to the occasion,  you casually stroke it, feeling the pulse of blood pumping in that thick blue vein. 

You’re waiting on her coming back to bed,  ready to make love or fuck her brains out quickly between now and the alarm going off. 

That either works or it doesn’t. 

If it works for you then great,  you’re lucky to be in a relationship where you’re appreciated by your man regardless of how you might feel about yourself. 

So enjoy it. 

The say that time is a great healer but time can be cruel too. 

If you happen to be a 40+ year old woman with the body of a girl half your age then you’re very lucky and a very rare exception to the rule. 

The article mentioned above. 

http://www.theatlantic.com/amp/article/479760

And then the weirdest thing happened … #humour

It’s Friday,  finishing slightly early from work at 430 and I have the bright idea to pop into a barbers near the station in town for a quick trim.

This would save me going down to my local barbers who close at noon on a Saturday and I might struggle as I’m out drinking on Friday night.

I’d passed this place a couple of times and it was always empty,  probably because it’s up a side-street and looks a little dingey.

So I get in and there are two male barbers sitting chatting and no customers.

They look up from their conversation but don’t stand up.

“Can I have a trim please”

“Do you have an appointment?”

“No” but I’m thinking there’s no one here,  why are you asking.

“Sorry but we only deal with appointments”

So I leave thinking .. good business model mate,  turning away work when you have no customers.   No wonder your shop is even dingier than it looks from the outside.

Continue reading “And then the weirdest thing happened … #humour”

Work Stories – Jiggle?

She’s walking towards me now. 

5’4, shapely, fitted dress, long dark blonde hair and mid 40s.

I’m lost in thought gazing into space and sorting out some logical problem in my head, but something about her catches my attention, draws me back to earth.

She sees me change focus and for a moment our eyes meet. 

But it wasn’t her eyes that I was looking at, it was her breasts jiggling as she walked towards me. 

I’ve never been a breast man, or a butt man, or a leg man .. Everyone’s different and everyone has their individual merits in the attraction game. 

I like to think that I consider the overall package, how it fits together, but there are a few must haves ,, a few well if you’ve not got that well I’m not really interested. 

Take b00bs, since we are on the subject …

What’s the point in going out with a girl that doesn’t have any? 

You’ve been there . getting rib-cage in your face when what you want is your face filled with feminine softness. 

Or for that matter, what if what she has isn’t actually very nice .. inverted n1pples or breasts sagging like spaniels ears .. no thank you. 

The problem is that it’s one thing looking, but you never know that until you’re half way down that road, paradise by the dashboard light and at that point who is going to “stop right there” for a trivial variation from your ideal? 

I reckon a perky jiggle is a good decider without getting naked. 

Not small, but with enough volume to bounce a little as she walks, and not too big, not massive as there’s no way that the undulations of her walk are overcoming gravity. 

What guy doesn’t like breasts?   

We are made to, it’s in our genetic programming, these sources of nourishment and femininity are very comforting to have in your face. 

Anyway, she passed, I’ve never spoke to her, but there was a moment. 

For some reasons, she’s stopped short behind me and instead of going where she was going, she has about faced and heading for her desk. 

She walks past me, wiggling, that little piece of extra weight on her hips .. love handles, the bit that we like to grab hold off. 

But make no mistake, she has a waist even although she’s carrying a few extra pounds. 

It’s about balance, excessive fat is bad, but who wants a skinny mini? 

Personally I reckon that a few extra pounds in all the right places is what God made women to be. 

— 

Just a thought about Jiggle or Wiggle .. never thought of it before .. but jiggle is for breasts and their up and down movement, wiggle is for butts and their sideways movement as she walks. 

Interesting read here some research linking breast size to lifespan. 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3398123/Why-breasts-bounce-pattern-jiggle-reveals-age-Extraordinary-scientific-secrets-bosoms.html

There’s also a science in gaming developed to model the dynamics of the jiggling breast. 

Who would believe it!!