“You’ve been seeing her again, haven’t you? Haven’t You!!”
He sits there saying nothing, his hands trembling on his knees and his cheeks full of anger.
It’s a funny mix of emotion, the feelings of guilt and relief as his adrenaline blurs the line between the physical and the logical. It’s the flight or fight reaction, he wants to be honest with her, he wants to tell her everything, but he’s doesn’t want to hurt her.
He wants to run away from this conflict that he can’t win either way.
But she’s insistent “Just tell me, be honest with me, I deserve that after all this time”
He doesn’t look up “You’ve been reading my phone again, haven’t you?”
“Of course I’ve been reading your phone and just as bloody well, you lying cheating bastard” She spits the words at him making no attempt to hide her contempt.
He stands up and walks to the door, his head down, he’s afraid to look at her in case she sees right through him.
He’s measuring his words, what is the right thing to say, or actually what can he say to get out of this situation without saying too much.
“Okay, so I have saw her, I bumped into her on the train and we chatted”
“Yes, you chatted and you must have given her your new number too, because you changed it since the last time”
Aaah, he hadn’t thought of that.
He’s having two conversations, one with his wife and the other with himself, how much has she read and how much does she know?
How much can he get away with?
But she’s saw that look before “Don’t fucking lie to me John Taylor, I can see you thinking about it, I’ve read everything so just tell me”.
“Can I have my phone back please”
“No, you’re not getting it until I hear the truth”.
He sits down again, she moves closer, standing above him, dominating him, her anger keeping her strong.
She’d heard this before, she knew that he had a brief fling with her before, she still has the evidence from his old mobile hidden away at the back of a cupboard upstairs.
Back then when he was caught, he’d promised the earth, anything for her to stay, that it had meant nothing to him, just someone that he had met at a concert and they happened to be going on the same train home.
But she knew it was more than that, she knew that he had been seeing her over a period of months, telling her that he was with his mates, but going to gigs with his bit on the side.
She wondered why he had the affair, that was the most puzzling part, she was nothing to look at, fat and droopy and for Gods sake look at that stupid hair. You’d think at her age she’d have stopped dying her hair in those stupid colours?
She compared herself with this gawky looking rock-chic, in her own mind there was no competition in the attraction stakes, 9 out of 10 men would choose her, she reassures herself.
So why had he had the affair, why?
She wasn’t naïve enough to think that everything was rosy in their garden, they had their ups and downs like every other couple, that’s only to be expected right?
But not this, not lying in bed unable to sleep because you’re worried that he no longer loves you.
Certainly, not waiting for your moment to look at his phone while he’s in the shower. She hates herself for being so paranoid, even if she feels that the end justifies the means.
Finally, he looks at her “We met on the train, we had a chat and she told me that her mum wasn’t well, I gave her my number and asked her to let me know if things improved”
He pauses, hoping that it’s enough, he’s scared to breathe, this could go either way.
She had read that text, read it a million time, read the reply hat had said she would let him know how things went and had been relieved that there was no more contact between them.
“And that’s it?” That’s all you did? You didn’t see her again and you haven’t saw her since?”
“No, honestly Carol Ann, I haven’t heard from her at all, I promise” He looked relieved to get it all out there.
She sits down on the arm of the sofa, feeling a sudden weakness envelope her as her anger leaves.
He looks at her ashen face “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, I’m scared, I’ve been worried about this for weeks”
“Don’t worry, everything will be fine, nothings changed, I just thought that it was the right thing to do, I’m sorry that I never told you”
She’s glad that she’s had this conversation even if it was difficult, she couldn’t torture herself any long and she had to know.
“Please, please, if you bump into her again, or have any further contact with her, will you tell me?”
He moves beside her, lifting her hand and pressing it in his, “Yes, I will, I promise”
He pulls her towards him and holds her briefly he enjoys the slenderness of her body as he wraps her arms around her.
They kiss for a moment, then she lowers her head burying her face on his shoulder and sniffing back a tear.
“Would you like a cup of tea?” He asks, hoping that she will release him from her grasp.
She sniffs back the tear and reaches for the tissues that she keeps on the side table beside the sofa “Yes, thank you, my mouth is so dry”
“Coming right up, be back in a few minutes”
He gets up and walks to the kitchen, he smiles the moment his face is away form her.
He is relieved that he got away with it today, but he knows that the clock is ticking and sooner or later he has a decision to make.
He gets to the kitchen, casually closing the door over behind him, closed over but not shut, that would be too obvious.
He reaches up on top of the unit, above the built in oven and microwave and checks his other phone, the one that his wife doesn’t know about.
There is a message waiting “Can you call me soon, x”
For Part 1 click the link below