The First To Say Good-Bye?


The First To Say Good-Bye?

Well she actually said,  “Fuck Off”   .. delightful I’m sure!   🙂

It’s not that I haven’t said the same thing to her before,  because I have,  even although I didn’t mean it.

It was more a “Seriously?”  than a “Get out of here”.

Where as hers was more a ” Get out of here asap and never come back”  🙂

But the big difference is,  somewhere inside,  this time I knew she meant it.

This time I thought,  you really are pissed off with me.

What is it that I do to make piss her off so much?

How can I simply be out with friends and family enjoying the day,  then get a rattling angry text from her.

Truth is,  I was enjoying spending time with my closest brother before he goes through a major operation,  enjoying the football,   the sunshine and his last few days of freedom before going under the knife with life changing results and I don’t even want to think about the worst case scenario.

So we got caught up,  I hadn’t contacted her until 8:30,  but it was only 8:30 for fucks sake,  hardly the end of the night.

Yeah,  maybe I should have contacted her earlier to finalise arrangements,  let her plan ahead,   I get that,  but it takes 2 to tango,  does it not?

So what next?

Let it go?


Look for some middle-ground between eating humble pie and maintaining a huff.

You know I miss her,  she knows I miss her,   I know that she’s hurting,   probably waiting on a call  ..  or maybe not.

Here’s the truth,   good-bye isn’t always a one-sided decision and fuck off isn’t always the end.

We’ve came this far and its a lot to throw away for trivial reasons.


Anyway,   my closest brother is genuinely under the knife today,    they found a 4cm long tumour in one of his kidneys and are removing the kidney completely.

Only this time last week, we met for a curry and some beers before going to see Bryan Ferry at The Royal concert Hall in Glasgow.     He’d only just heard the bad news.

He’s a different kind of character to me,  he’s  more “get it done” where I’d be worried sick.

But you’ve really got to love the NHS for taking care of business so quickly.

So it might not be perfect,  budgets are limited,  but when you need it,  it’s there.

Last night,  I went over to see him ..  strange thing ..  I don’t see him every week,    we aren’t in constant contact,    but he’s my oldest friend,  a close confidante,  I just can’t imagine him not being around.

Right now,   waiting on the news from the hospital,  it’s a strange situation,  a pregnant pause,  when life is out of your hands,  big things are happening and there’s absolutely nothing you can do about them.

I’m not really religious,  but I will admit to having said a silent prayer.

I never ever want to say goodbye.

Rocky Horror Sorry?


The Rocky Horror Show plays Glasgow this week.

The show of choice is the Saturday night and its a sell out as expected.

I was looking forward to going ..  I love it,  love the campness and the dressing up and taking part.   It’s great fun  .. I wrote about it somewhere on here before.

But no .. some fecking unreliable useless pr1ck of a friend who had promised to buy the tickets 6 months ago hadn’t bothered his miserable arse.

He’s apologised .. yeah that makes it alright .. only it doesn’t.

I hate that,   imagine someone punched you in the mouth and then apologised .. all very good .. but you’re still left with the swollen lip.

It’s like that ..  sorry just doesn’t cut it.

Ah yeah but it was his poor wife who is in rehab .. again ..

Bollocks .. they had 6 months since it was agreed they would book the tickets.

So you’re not getting off with it.

The least you can do is actually let people know you havent bought the tickets and not let them find out at the last minute when the show is sold out.




#Celtic – More Than A Club?


The Celtic legend Tommy Burns once said “When you pull on a Celtic Jersey,  you don’t just represent a football club,  you represent a people,  a cause.”

Even the club itself uses the mantra of “Celtic More Than A Club” to sell season tickets,  that somehow the club retains the ethos originally set out by the founding members including Brother Walfrid that it would be a focus for charity to help the poor of Glasgow and predominantly the east end of the city.

I used to believe that,  I bought into it with my hard-earned cash paying for 2 season book for over 20 years sitting in the Jock Stein Stand when it opened and in the Lisbon Liions stand the year or two before that.


But what was that cause?

Who are these people that the club represents?

Continue reading “#Celtic – More Than A Club?”

Silly Games … 

She’s in there banging pans
Louder than she needs to
Loud enough to disturb my slumbers
From the couch last night

Fuck off …  I think
Stay or go
Just get fucking on with it
And stop banging my pans

It’s part of the game
Should she stay or
Just fucking go!

Why is she cleaning my kitchen anyway?
Emptying the dishwasher at level 11
She’s somewhere between anger and goodbye
Between stupidity and remorse

Continue reading “Silly Games … “

More Strong Independent Capable #Women?

I don’t know if you  noticed it but “Clare’s Law”,  the Domestic Abuse Disclosure Scheme came into operation across the whole of Scotland yesterday. 

This scheme gives a partner or third party concerned about a friend or relative,  the right to apply for disclosure of their partners suspected history of domestic abuse or violent behaviour. 
In the six months of its trial period, there were 59 applications of which 22 resulted in disclosure.    

An indication that the majority of cases have 37 from 59 have no abusive history to disclose despite having suspicions. 

That doesn’t make them abusive,  or clear them,  it just means there is nothing to report. 

Either that or the person being reported is not actually abusive but the person applying may have their own malicious reasons to apply, possibly a third party trying to put the mix in. 

Unrealistic?  I don’t think so,  the pettiness, maliciousness and self interest of people never ceases to amaze me. 

Despite that,  having been on the receiving end of domestic abuse,  I’m all for disclosure,  it can only be a good thing.    If it saves one unfortunate soul then it’s fine it’s job. 

As a guy experiencing it,  it goes unreported because what guy would report it?    

You walk away.  Simple. 

Reporting it would only seem petty and result in lies and counter claims trying to justify the unjustifiable.   

It’s easier just to walk away particularly when you are capable of standing on your own two feet and have no ongoing dependency on the abuser. 

But here’s what I’m wondering,  at which point should a person have the right to pry into someone else’s, a partners background?

Define partner?   

Such a vague term,  clearly not someone you met last week,  so should that be based on the duration of the relationship?   

Or on the level of commitment?   I wouldn’t think you’d have to be living together to have concerns.  

Personally I think that it should it be because the person suspected of previous domestic abuse has demonstrated some dubious behaviour?
But if they have demonstrated dubious behaviour,  do you really need to apply for their history?

What if the person has no history to disclose?  

Does that make their behaviour any more acceptable?

Wouldn’t it be better just to get out of the relationship at the first sign of jealousy, controlling behaviour and/or verbal or physical abuse?

Okay,  that’s the ideal,  but it doesn’t really work like that does it?  

Hindsight is a wonderful thing and if you’ve been in that kind of relationship,  then the one thing you know for certain is that  you wish you’d got out earlier in the relationship as the warning signs were there. 

How many times have you seen a friend in a long term relationship were they can’t be themselves because of a controlling or jealous partner? 

You listen to their stories and you’d like them out of it,  but they don’t leave,  either through fear of the consequences, fear of being alone or because they have emotional and financial commitments with that person, children, house, mortgage, financial dependence. 

Having listened to people’s stories over the years,  women in particular will put up with some amount of crap from an abusive or controlling partner because they’ve bought into the situation,  had kids,  it’s about more than them. 

If that’s the case the person doesn’t need disclosure,  they already know. 

What they need is support from friends, family and social services. 

In the longer term, If we take it as a given that unfortunately most perpetrators of domestic abuse are men,  then what we need is strong women who will not tolerate that behaviour and avoid being in a dependent situation by having their own career and income. 

Strong, independent, capable women that’s what I like and want my girls to be. 

If they happen to have a man in their life’s then it’s because they choose them,  because they want them, not because they need them. 
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Train Stories – Hiya!!

Hiya …


I’m on the train …

Can you hear me?

Hi, hi … you’re there .. I’m on the train ..

I’m just arriving at Slateford …. Slateford …

Yes, I’m on the 1749 from Waverley ..

Yes ..

The reason I’m late is because I was up at Tommy’s this afternoon. …

I was up at Tommy’s this afternoon …

Yes darling, it’s not long til I see you again .. The next stops mine .. Can’t wait to see you.

All of the above spoken in the most camp effeminate voice by a small, chubby harmless little man .. Broadcasting his business to all and sundry.

There is something inherent about being on a mobile phone on the train that makes you raise your voice.

Like some comedy spoof .. I’m on the train .. With a huge old school mobile from the 80s.

The wee man was loud, but harmless.

But it was the next thing that I found unacceptable.

The 55 year old sitting opposite him drinking lager from the tin decides to intervene ..

“Tell him what you want to do with him you wee fucking poof”

That’s not what was actually said, but it’s close enough.

At this point theres silence .. No one says a word.

The wee man gets up and walks towards the door with angry man muttering something under his breathe.

I’m glad the wee mans away, it avoids the conflict. I can’t stand bullies and certainly not loud mouthed obnoxious dinosaurs like this one.

If anything more had occurred I’m sure I wouldn’t be the only person to step in.

He was chatting with some young dude for the next 10 minutes, the young guy stuck at the window listening to his drivel from homosexuality to leaving his wife for another woman to .. How he dumped that bitch .. to his collection of Johnny Cash albums.

I could see the young guy searching round for assistance, our eyes made contact for a moment to exchange a knowing glance but he was stuck between the window and a wannabe hard-man.

Fortunately for him, the young dude is getting off at Livingstone.

As he excused himself the dinosaur asks, who will I talk to now .. And looks around the carriage.

I can see him in my peripheral vision, but I ain’t going there .. No way.

Now our two adjacent 4 seat booths are empty .. I can feel his stare as I type.
Continue reading “Train Stories – Hiya!!”

When Liberty Itself Is Affected – #JeSuisCharlie

The Power To Speak

Like most people I watched in horror as The details of yesterday’s atrocity in Paris came to light

These poor people were targeted for making fun of Islam, Mohammed and the ISIS leadership.

How cowardly are these assassins?

How pathetic are these people of “faith” when they cannot stand against any criticism without resorting to violence.

What God ever preached that violence was acceptable?

This isn’t about God or religion, it’s a consequence of blinkered indoctrination that these factions are unable to tolerate anyone else having a different opinion, thought process or lifestyle to the one they choose.

That’s bad enough when they live in some middle eastern country, but the problem is that they live amongst us. Yesterday’s assassins were French nationals. The 7/7 bombers in London lived among us as UK nationals.

These are disenfranchised people, they feel that they don’t feel that they belong. They have no loyalty to our western countries or our liberties. They believe that they are standing up for some justifiable cause, but nothing justifies attacks on innocent civilians.

They want to come here and reap the philosophical benefits of freedom, liberty, free expression to put out their views even if we don’t agree with them as well as the practical benefits of our infrastructure, health services etc but then enforce their opinion upon us.

The problem is in the west we are just too liberal. The PC brigade have made us so frightened to speak up in case we are judged as racist or intolerant.

Well I don’t care what race, creed, colour, religion, gender or whatever someone is, but as soon as they want to threaten violence against our liberties, support ISIS or join some Jihadist movement, then we need to take action.

We need to turn our own dogs against them, the intelligence agencies, covert, nasty, it wouldn’t be my ideal choice, but these guys aren’t playing fair, so neither should we.

If there is the merest threat, a hint of conspiration to make threat become real, then round them up, lock them up and show the rest what we won’t accept.

Or am I not allowed to say that?

On a related note, a young Scottish guy of Pakistani origin was jailed in the UK last year for having downloaded a pamphlet on making bombs.

At the time, I believed this was harsh, he was a kid (17)sitting in his bedroom, probably a bit disillusioned with life. At the time I thought locking the kid up was overreacting because there’s one thing reading about it and another thing actually doing anything.

Call me idealist, but I think we should be able to read, or say just about anything we want. That it only becomes a crime once intent had been established and steps have been taken to move from ideology to actual threat.

But that’s changed, we need to set out what is and isn’t acceptable, we need to be harsh, we need to stop being so liberal when liberty itself is being affected.