The next morning, I woke up tired and bleary, I should have been sleeping instead of thinking,
Sometimes, I think too much, its a fault, okay so I’m an intelligent guy, but that had to be verging on self-harm, why torrnent yourself like that?
Note to self .. STOP IT!!
I woke up thinking of her before my eyes had opened and focused, but this time it wasn’t dark thoughts, at least not those dark relationship blues. This time my hand was already where it wanted to be and I was hard and throbbing before I was even aware I was awake.
I could see her in my minds eye, a fusion of memories passing through them, simultaneously and in quick succession.
Like I was fast forwarding, browsing throw my personal sky+ memory recorder for a particular vision to stimulate what didn’t need to be stimulated,
The first time we made love, the first time I kneeled above her and puled her panties down her legs as we held each others gaze.
Kneeling between her thighs and sliding a finger inside her as I licked and finger fucked her to climax, then did it again with my cock.
Her riding me, her tits bouncing, then squeezing and sucking her nipples as she makes herself come.
Fucking her doggy style over the end of the bed, holding her hips and gently pulling her hair as we watch each other in the mirror.
That did it, that lit fuse, it didn’t take long to finish, I pushed the bedclothes away as I came over my tummy almost breathless. Holding myself tightly until the sensations stopped and the throbbing pulse subsided.
I lie back and relax, but my thoughts are still with her, if she was here we would be cuddling up together and smiling, me lying on my back and her lying on her side and half on my chest, her hand holding my cock, just teasing it gently.
I’m crazy about her, I know it, I feel it, I just don’t want to set myself up for a fall.
I better make that call.
But first things first, I head down stairs ad put the kettle on, throw a tea bag in a mug and grab the milk and pour some fresh orange from the fridge, the innocent stuff, I’ve never liked anything fake, goes against the grain.
While the kettle boils I go through to the dining room and sit at the piano, I’m procrastinating, wasting time, I know it, its a bad habit, but I’d rather get what I have to say right in my head first.
I play a couple of tunes, nothing special, somehow or other I am playing songs that make me think of her. Songs that I’ve played and she has sang along with or that I’ve learned because I know she likes them.
How did that happen?
As I said, I’m crazy about her .. Just admit it .. accept it .. what is it they say? That the quicker you accept the inevitable the quicker you move on.
Yeah, but I need to talk to her too .. a serious talk.
I make the tea, finish the OJ and head upstairs, climb into bed and grab the phone.
She answers on the second ring.
“Hey, honey, good to hear from you, I thought you might have been sleeping when I sent you my text last night”
“Yeah, sorry I missed it”, I lied avoiding the schoolboy mistake of jumping in to early conflict, better to keep things light first.
“Doesn’t matter, I’d been thinking about you and thought I’d send a message”
“Thanks babe, that was really nice of you, hope it was all good things that you were thiinking?”
“Of course, I was wishing that you were lying there beside me” … Fuck, this isn’t goging to be easy.
“Thats lovely, I was thinking about you too” .. Although maybe not in exactly the same way that she had been thinking of me.
How do you know when someone is thinking of you? Or indeed what they are thinking?
What if you make a rash decision and walk away cos you are scared of getting hurt just when they want to hold on?
“What were you thinking?” She asks. I can feel the question in her voice and know that she wants reassurance.
“I was just thinking about all the things we’ve done together” I said keeping it as clean as possible.
“Have you been bad this morning?” She saw right through me and I could feel the smile in her voice.
“Bad? No I was pretty good!!”
“What are you like!!”
“You know what I’m like!!” .. That is a fact!
“Wel I hope you were thinking of me?”
“Of course baby, who else would I be thinking about?” .. Completely honestly, I’ve never been one for thinking of anyone else apart.
“Well I’m glad, I had a wee think about you earlier too” .. She whispers, obviously conscious that someone might here on her side.
“Thats my girl, how was your night with Lynn?”
“It was great thanks, we had a good laugh and a nice chat”
“Great, I’m gad that you had a good night, are you doing anything today?”
“Actually, I was thinking of asking you along to dinner with me and the boys?”
“Wow, thats a a bit of a change ..”
“Well I thought it would be good for you to meet them, they’ve heard so much about you and have been asking”
“Yeah, well okay then, thank you, that would be lovely, anything you want me to bring?”
“No, its fine, I’ve already got in plenty”
“Okay, I’ll bring a bottle of wine and wee something for the boys”
“Good idea, I’ll make sure that they are on best behaviour”
“No, just let them be themselves, I’m sure it wil be fine”
We said our good-byes and hung up, I feel quite warm inside and last nights torment is almost forgotten.
Maybe I’ve been worrying about nothing?
Maybe … But this is a new step, this can only take the relationship in a new direction. I sensed from her voice and attitude that something has changed, but that can only be for the good .. right?
What was I saying about accepting the inevitable? 🙂
This is Part 15 of my fictional Online Dating story – For Part 1, click below.