Later that night, he lay in bed thinking about her and wondered why she had got in touch out of the blue again.
Was she genuinely interested in how he was or did she have a gap in her life and feel a bit lonely knowing that he would be available and was always a good listener and put a smile on her face?
Did it matter?
Of course it matters, the former is a friendly concern asking how he is perhaps because she has some of issues in her own life and looking for friendly advice. The latter because she is looking for attention , affection and maybe something more?
He’d read over her text a few times over the evening but there was nothing that gave her intentions away.
His response had been suitably appropriate, friendly, informative, but he kept it at that level and there was no attempt to open a conversation or take things further.
Was he expecting her to make the effort to keep the conversation going?
Well she had started it and hadn’t explained why she had got in touch, he had responded and the ball was firmly within her court to reply if she had anything to say.
Grow up for fucks sake .. his inner voice reprimanded himself for been so childish, he was old enough to be past playing stupid mind-games.
Maybe he should just pick up the phone and call her, but she hadn’t responded to his text, not even a quick response showing some empathy to his mum passing away.
It would be difficult not to admit that he wasn’t slightly annoyed about that, he didn’t need to tell her but he had shared because she had asked and he knew that her mum had been ill and in and out of hospital like his own.
But then he thought, maybe his text upset her, maybe her mum has passed too and his message has hit too close to home that she can’t speak.
Do you ever get that?
its like playing chess .. trying to second guess how the other person thinks, or feels,, whether you’ve upset them or whether they are playing games?
Do you make the effort, drop your pride and send a second text or do you hold out and think no matter what the issue is its their issue, their problem and bugger them anyway?
Whats the difference between the former and latter?
Action or inaction?
You can choose either, so how do you make that choice?
When it comes down to it, it’s not really about you, it’s not really about them either.
It’s really what they mean to you.
Whether you’re prepared to let something fall on its arse for small reasons, or if that something means enough to you to pick up the phone.
What did she mean to him?
Difficult question considering they hadn’t seen each other in 8 years and the last time that they did she had caused a spat with his girlfriend of the time, who reminded him off it now and again over the years.
On the other hand, he still cared about Marie and having lost his own, he was a softie were mums were concerned, besides what harm would there be in a phone call?
Texts, good for quick information sharing, quick hello’s or good nights but absolutely useless for any conversation of substance.
He was just considering sending her a second text when his mobile pinged.
“Hi there, sorry for not getting back to you sooner, I was at mums and making sure she was washed and ready for bed. I’m really sorry to hear about your mum, I’m sure you miss her terribly. I’ve been a bit upset about it all day. x”
He read her text, then read it again, thought about it and put the phone down and went to the loo.
When he got back to bed, he picked up the phone and read her text again, noting that small x and smiling that she did the same as him.
“Aw fuck it” he thought “life is way too short to not say whats on your mind” and he pressed the call button.
Wasted Time, that’s what this story is about, about regretting things that happen, missing someone, but not missing them enough, then wondering what happened and why you didn’t fix it sooner but time passes and its too late to change.
Or is it! 🙂
Just happens to be the title of one of my favourite Eagles songs too.
Taught myself this on piano at the weekend, quite complex with 3 or 4 key changes, love it.
So you can get on with your search baby
And I can get on with mine
And maybe someday we will find
That it wasn’t really wasted time.
If you’d like to read more of this Unfinished Business story as it develops, click the “Unfinished” tab on the right.