Between the Devil and The Deep Blue Sea?

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Between the Devil and The Deep Blue Sea?

Alternatively titled ..  Dead Man Walking .. or should that be Dead Man Wanking?

Why wanking?    Read on ..

It’s been a while since I wrote any of my nonsense,   I’ve been busy,   working too hard over the past year and not even had a week off since the Easter furlough back in April 2018,  when for one reason or another I didn’t get off on holiday anywhere.

Even at Christmas and New Year,  I only had 2 days and 1 day off work respectively.

That’s pretty unhealthy really.

There’s been reasons,  a big project consuming my time,   it went live in April and if you use the global companies services in the UK,  then you’’ll most likely be processed by it.    I’m quite proud of it.

Add on top of the 10 hour day an extra 2 hours for commuting,   It’s way too long,  for far too long.

But that’s about to change,

I’m a contractor,  self-employed,  I love working myself,  but the powers that be here want to reduce their budget and have employed a couple of staff replacements.     They guy who is my direct replacement is a complete prick,   loud-mouthed,  thinks he’s clever,  tries too hard to impress,  talks when he should be listening and sticks his foot in it big time.

Now I’m a dead man walking,  my contract is up in 2 weeks’ time and I’m not being fed any new work,  just handing over to big-mouth.

Or is that dead man wanking,   as all I’m doing now is fucking about and trying to keep myself looking busy.

The good thing about this job is I’ve banked a few quid,  well I had until a few weeks ago when I paid the mortgage off.

A 6 figure mortgage is a  £700pm payment  vs 6 figures in the bank and £40pm interest.

A no brainer really,  why pay the bank when they don’t pay you?

No mortgage ..  Free at last,  free at last,  thank The Lord almighty,  I’m free at last!.

Well I ‘m mortgage free,  still got a few quid in the bank and it will be fantastic to have a break for a while.

I might even take off the full summer,  I think I deserve it.

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PS – Weren’t the Celtic shit at the weekend .. getting well beat by the new team in blue that plays out of Ibrox.

A clear out is required.,  drop the dead-wood,   the has-beens and the never-beens.

On the plus side, we have the money in the bank to make the changes,   but is there the will?

 

 

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Work Stories – Resign Yourself?

 

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I currently work for this global communications company based in Central Scotland, if you live in the UK, you probably use or have used its services as they have a tight grip on some of the best available premium content.

You might know the place, very technical, a bigger technical base than any of the banks that I’ve worked for with the exception of JP Morgan.

I’m a contractor, self-employed and run a small personal services company ( ooooh-err missus ) for tax efficiency purposes.

Did you hear that? Tax-efficiency purposes?

What does that mean?

Well efficiency in a physics sense is defined as the ratio to energy in vs energy out.

In this context, it’s the amount of money that my company earns vs the amount of cash that I abscond with . take home .. by reducing my tax and national insurance rather than paying full PAYE.

Continue reading “Work Stories – Resign Yourself?”

The Gender Pay Gap? …. Man Up!

Where do you stand on this gender pay gap?

Do you believe there is such a thing?

If you do then you’re probably female and an idiot and too stupid to think past the headlines.

Still reading?

Good for you, I’m glad you’re still with me and my flippancy hasn’t made you run away like a cry baby.

Even more so if you’re female, I’m glad you stayed. You’ve got balls! 🙂

Let me explain why there is no gender pay gap for the hard of understanding.

Firstly, to pay men and woman different rates for the same job is illegal in most of the civilised world and has been in the UK since 1970 and the US since 1963.

Secondly, although it’s true in the statistics published yesterday, see link below, which provides details of the differences in mean and median pay between male and female employees, The reason that there is a difference is because of the roles that each gender is predominantly employed in with males having more senior or higher paid technical roles.

So let me condense that for you. There is no gender pay gap, Any comparison is invalid because you are comparing apples with oranges.

The difference in mean or median earnings is because women are underrepresented in the higher paid roles, That can’t be solved by employing people based on gender because higher paid roles are based on ability and education, not gender.

Note that employing people based on gender is also illegal.

That difference in education and ability between individuals paid higher or lower rates regardless of gender comes down to personal choice, effort and ability.

Am I saying that women are less capable than men?

Are you fucking mad? Of course not.

As a father of a son and two daughters, I’d never under underestimate the capabilities of my daughters, quite the opposite, my goal is to help educate them academically and in the school of life so that they succeed in their chosen careers.

After that it comes down to their choice and if they choose a lower paying position, then it’s not because they are less capable, It’s because that’s the choices they made.

Condensing and generalising that …

Hard or in demand degree = Maths, IT, Accountancy, Medicine. Law, Engineering = Well paid career.

Easy or less in demand Degree = Media studies, social science, history = low paid job.

Apprenticeship = Decent income based on ability particularly if self employed.

No education = it’s not the end, but it’s not going to be easy.

As I explained to my kids, it’s their choice, but there are long term consequences.

Of course education isn’t everything, there are lots of people making decent bucks without a degree, skilled plasterers, plumbers, builders, salespeople. People earning because of their individual abilities. Not bleating about invalid comparisons because they didn’t make an effort.

Let’s imagine a man is in a low paid job, he looks at his company and sees that he’s in the lower quartile, Why is that? It will be most likely because he didn’t try too hard at school, not because he’s got a dick.

But one things for sure, he’ll get on with it and not act like a fucking victim.

Besides, here’s the truth, If you’re not happy with your job and want more pay, ask yourself, how do I do that? Then make the effort and change it. It’s really up to you.

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UK Government data on all companies with over 250 employees

https://gender-pay-gap.service.gov.uk

An excellent info graphic from Sky clarifies it’s not gender, but representation.

https://www.skygroup.sky/corporate/media-centre/articles/en-gb/Sky-releases-Gender-Pay-Gap-Report

Jonathon Pie interviewing a feminist condenses the argument

Work Stories – The Hills Have Pies?

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The fat family.

Two men and a woman,  all mid-50’s,  white hair,  podgy faces and bodies.

They moved up to my area recently,   currently seated directly facing me two banks of desks away.

I don’t know anything about these people, I’m sure they are lovely, intelligent,  hard-working,  all that good stuff.

But here’s what I noticed .. they all look exactly the same .. like some sort of clones who have been fed a strict diet of McDonalds.

Face,  body,  hair  … All very similar.

Demeanour?

Absolutely no idea .. apart from the fact that they talk non-stop and are constantly stuffing their already fat faces.

Do you think that they are good people are bad people?

Get real for fucks sakes!

How can you possibly make such a decision on so little information?

Of course they are good people,  holding down a job,  earning a living for their families.

Even if it is just the one family!    🙂

But don’t confuse being fat or old or grey with being incapable.

That would only say more about you than them.

 

Work Stories – Razzle Dazzle! 

Give them the ol’ razzle dazzle ..Razzle dazzle them!

So .. I’m sitting here at this humongously wealthy, largest communications company in the whole wide world, certainly the UK with its 27million customer base.

You know the one.

It’s a bright sunny day in this part of Central Scotland, even although there was traffic chaos and a two hour journey getting here today from Glasgow due to the heavy overnight snowfall.

Not that the snowfall was actually that heavy, it’s just that the authorities and commuters of this tuppence-ha’penny little part of the world aren’t prepared for it.

It begs the question .. How do Sweden, Finland, Iceland manage function successfully with months of snowfall?

Anyway, where I’m sitting, at a desk near the foyer on the top floor which is lit up by the low sunshine emanating from the rooftop windows on the floor above. For some reason the building owners took the blinds down last November.      

It’s quite pleasant for me. But the two people sitting opposite can’t see for the sun shining directly in their eyes.

Fantastic .. trying to get some work done .. but too dazzled to see your screen.

Solution .. old cardboard boxes and cornflake boxes cellotaped strategically to the back of their monitors in an attempt to block the offending light.

Don’t you love that .. 

The biggest and the smallest company  all in the one go!

Video taken from the movie Chicago, one of my favourite musical featuring Richard Gere.  

A bit mixed on the tune,   but he’s decidedly better at singing than Pierce Brosman in Mamma Mia. 

Work Stories – Meek Inheritance?

And the big book said  … Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth.

Do you remember getting taught that at school as well as other Beatitudes from the Sermom On The Mount?

Here’s a wee reminder …  if you’re interested …

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beatitudes

Basically Jesus is playing to the audience,  telling all of the unfortunates,  the poor, sick, bereft,  etc that their prayers will be answered.

He’s also encouraging positive behaviour in praising the peacemakers, the merciful, those of pure spirit,  those who are persecuted for believing in him telling them that they will be rewarded in heaven.

Yeah fucking yeah!

Thus isn’t a bible lesson ..  not that I have any feelings against the bible.   Generally speaking it has some rules on how to live your life regardless of what religion you may have been born into.

Yep an accident of birth tends to set the tone for most of your life,   Whether it’s the genes you inherited,  religion, location, environment, culture.

Thank the baby Jesus that I was born in this part of the world where I’ve been educated enough so that I can login here at 3am and write about whatever nonsense is on my mind without fear of persecution.

Maybe you’re reading this shit and agreeing,  maybe not,  but the fact that you can pick up your iPad and read this anytime you like,  that you have internet access, that you can read,  that you can afford an iPad or whatever device is an indication of how fortunate you are.

Aren’t we lucky?      Continue reading “Work Stories – Meek Inheritance?”

Work Stories – Objectives?

Don’t you just hate the bullshit that you sometimes have to go through as an employee?

Six monthly appraisals and annual objectives,  what a pile of shit,  a tick-box exercise designed to show that the company are making an effort,  when in actual fact they don’t really care about you or your circumstances.

It’s bullshit … and I hate bullshit.

This is my first staff job in 20 years,   Prior to taking this job I’d been self employed,  IT Consultant with various banks.

Why did I go staff? Continue reading “Work Stories – Objectives?”