Wolf – Last Christmas?

wolf

Of course I miss you, it would be stupid to think that I didn’t.

A couple of years together thrown away a puff of anger, hurt feelings and faux outrage.

Faux?

Because we are both proud people and although we were both in the wrong, our pride doesn’t allow us to apologise and climb down from our moral high ground very easily.

I know that I upset you, you know that you upset me, but is worth throwing away a bright future for the sake of some relatively petty issues?

Probably not.

So why are we allowing this to continue to fester and the distance between us to grow?

I’ve already said sorry. I don’t think I can do anything more.

How many apologies does it take? Continue reading “Wolf – Last Christmas?”

A Prayer For The Living? #Oasis

 

I’m sure like me,  you have many songs that take you back to people and places in your life,  happy times,  sad times,  the best and worst of times.   Moments that we treasure and wish that we could live again and moments that we wish we could forget.

Sometimes,  years after the event,  we are getting on with our day,  the radio on in the background and a song comes on that reminds us of happy times,  it makes us feel good and we smile at the memories that come flooding back.

Sometimes,  it’s the opposite,  a song that reminds us of sad times.  That takes our breath away and puts a tear in our eyes. Continue reading “A Prayer For The Living? #Oasis”

Why does “Over The Rainbow” make me cry too?

Its funny how sometimes you write things that are not very well read ..

( Some might say not very well written .. Ed! )

Shut-up Ed .. who asked you anyway?!  🙂

The point being that I write just whatever I feel,  family,  football,  friends,  random thoughts.

Music is a big part of my life,  one of my most read pages is about the song Over The Rainbow and why I think that it has such an emotional impact on people.

Definitely one of my 3 funeral songs.

Originally blog with musical analysis below

Why Does Over The Rainbow Make Me Cry?

But decided to record and add my version to soundcloud,  link below.

Sing with me ..

Somewhere over the rainbow way up high
There’s a land that I heard of once,  once in a lullaby
Somewhere over the rainbow skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true

Someday I’ll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far
Behind me
Where troubles melt like lemon drops
Away above the chimney tops
That’s where you’ll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow bluebirds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow. Why, oh why? can’t I?

If happy little bluebirds fly
Above the rainbow why, oh, why can’t I?

 

Golden Slumbers and I will sing a Lullaby

Can you imagine losing your brother,  or sister?

It’s tragic when it happens from some terrible accident,  but theres something worse when its a dehabilitating disease and you’ve watched them suffer and fade for years,   going though all the medical procedures to increase their life span whilst simultaneously reducing their quality of life in the process.

Can you imagine that this terrible disease is genetic and its already killed two or three of your siblings?

How would you feel?

Imagining that you could be next,  that even if you manage to miss it then it might affect your own children.

Cancer is an evil, relentless disease that can affect us all,  but affects some families more than others.

Today,  I’m at a family funeral,  my brothers wife’s sister.   With two sisters already taken,  I cannot imagine how she is feeling.

I can only imagine myself in her place and empathise.

I can’t imagine what it must be like to watch one of my 4 brothers to suffer and die in such circumstances.

I’m the eldest of 5 sons,  we love, we fight, we are there for each other.  All different but with a common bond,  I can’t imagine life without any one of them,  the gap left behind would be immense.

Today,  I’ll pray for Sarah, for her loss.

But I”ll pray for Liz and her children,  my god-daughter more.

I’ll pray for anyone out there suffering from this awful disease and thank God that my own family has avoided it.

If you happen to read this, maybe you could say a silent prayer too.

If you and yours are cancer free then count your blessings.

Pray for the living.

“And in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make”

September Blue?

Gets me every time. 

Even here sitting in the sun in Rome with a glass of Prosecco in my hand,  tears running down my cheek. 

4 years passed and I remember that day as if it was this morning. 

Miss you mum.  Always will x
I’ll be all right though I may cry

The tears that flow they always dry

It’s just that I would rather be with you now

And every time I see that star

I will say a prayer for you

Now and forever September blue

’cause I’ll always love you

September blue

Work Stories –  Mysterious Ways?   ……  #inspiration #perspective #humour

Yesterday, I had my usual 930 meeting at work .. In typical IT geek fashion they call it a scrum, which is part of a sprint .. Blah fecking blah!

I don’t think my manager likes me .. He’s one of these IT geeks who have never worked in the real world.

He’s thinks he’s a perfectionist .. Whereas I tell it as it is and I don’t really give a fuck.

Work is bollocks, who really wants to do this shit?

Personally I’d much rather be on a beach.

Anyway, the guy seems to think, I have an attitude.

Don’t see it myself. 🙂

Maybe it’s because he doesn’t like my face ..

Maybe it’s because I’ve got a low bullshit tolerance

Or maybe it’s because he’s a complete fucking dick.

Anyway … Dick or no dick, I’ve been putting the hours in, yep my friends I’ve even worked a few weekends at unsociable hours just to get the job done when no one else was prepared to do it.

You see despite my low bullshit tolerance, I actually enjoy my work and don’t mind going the extra mile to get it done.

I just don’t complicate shit that should be simple …

So boss guy doesn’t like me .. Maybe it’s a personality thing .. He doesn’t have any!

But when the pressure was on, I was the guy putting the hours in, and the boss at the end client bank I’m working for does seem to appreciate what I do even although there’s no direct contact.

In the past few weeks, I’ve been running out of work, phase 1 is more or less done and there’s a lull waiting on phase 2 to kick in

My contract is up in 2 weeks and I’ve had a growing anxiety about it because despite my churlish attitude, I have bills to pay like everybody else.

At yesterday’s “scrum” same as last weeks scrums, I was asked what I’m doing, not a lot was my honest reply .. Cos I’m really good at dressing stuff up. 🙂

But I did say to my boss, if you’ve got anything else you want me to look at then let me know.

His smug response .. I think we’ve got it covered.

Ominous .. I thought.

Back at my desk, I have a quiet word with one of the end client planners. She tells me that the software company I’m working for have extended their contract with the bank 4 weeks ago to supply 18 bodies … But which bodies is not their concern as long as the job gets done.

Hmmm I think, that might be why I’ve been helping train a few of their new staff guys as replacements.

So being a pragmatic kinda guy, I was on the job sites, looking for contract work .. Things are pretty thin on the ground out there.

That’s the reality .. Tough times out there for lots of people, contractors going staff, rates dropping with rare exceptions for niche skills.

So far you might have guessed I’m a cynic, I don’t do bullshit.

So right now I’m either going to embarrass myself telling you what happened next or you’re going to like it because some people believe in this stuff and some people never will.

Last night I was a wee bit worried about being out of work in 2 weeks time.
On the train home from work … I had a quiet wee word with my mum, we don’t talk much these days.

Kinda difficult since she passed away nearly four years ago. But she told me in a dream a few months afterwards that she will always hear me even if she can’t answer.

She knows the story, got my kids to look after, putting all attitude aside, wages are important.

Last night, I took the girls over to see my dad, he was in good form and we had a good laugh and I sorted out his new sky sports package for him.

I got home at 10pm, but at 10:30, my phone pinged and it was an email in offering me a contract extension until Christmas.

Make of that what you will.

Personally I like to think that someone up there is looking after me.


Ps it’s now 6am, been writing this since 530.

You might say that this old cynic is a bit spaced out on the happy stuff, but I’m just a happy boy.

Here’s the thing, if you believe that someone up there looked after me, Maybe you’ll believe that someone up there looks after you too.

And if you take that one step further, maybe when its your turn to go then you’ll be able to look after your loved ones too.

I know I will.

Thanks for listening.