Client – As a matter of interest,  what will you do with my body  afterwards?

Salesman – Do you really want to know?

Client – Yes and no.   I’m interested but don’t want to know the gory details.

Salesman – Well after your brain is removed,  you’re finished with it and there’s no need to keep it.  The important thing is that the surgeons focus on the installing your brain in your new body.

Client – Yes,  I appreciate that,  I just wondered what you did with my old body afterwards? Continue reading “Brain-Dead?”

Losing your marbles?



Getting old is awful, watching the people that you love lose their mental or physical faculties and suffer has to be one of the hardest things to take, the only exception that I can think of is the death of a child.

I was over at my wee dads last night, 81 years young and sharp as a tack, but he suffers paralysis on one-side due the stroke he had 10 years ago.

It doesn’t stop him tho,  he’s at his bowling club most days organising things.

He’s got this never-give-up attitude like a lot of people from his generation,  who have faced much more hardship than we our children ever will.

I love and find him inspirational.

I consider myself lucky that he’s still with us, particularly as over the past few days a friend has lost their dad and another family member is badly losing their physical faculties whilst still all there mentally.

It brings our own mortality closer to home and I can empathise as my mum had went through a similar experience before she passed away a few years ago.

Either case is awful for the people left behind.

God knows that no-one wants to be that person sitting in a chair by the window defecating yourself unable to walk to the loo or clean yourself up.

It’s degrading for the individual involved, they lose their dignity and its awful for the people who love them as they don’t deserve to see their parent or loved one in that state.

In that situation, of course you love them, you do what you can, even although you both feel embarrassed by the situation.

Getting old, your body failing is a horrible situation.

You’re mind failing is worse, when you are no longer you and you can’t remember your loved ones.

Mind or Body failing .. which would you choose?

Continue reading “Losing your marbles?”

Age, Attitude and Acceptance!

Do you know the definition of being middle-aged?

It’s not when a woman gets to a certain age and her body changes and she either tries to dress younger or lets herself go.

it’s not when a guy buys a sports car,  and starts chasing younger women or gives up on that and lets himself go.

With that letting go,  both genders are accepting the aging process,  not trying to be something they are not.

But in letting go of themselves, people do themselves a dis-service.

Why not try and make the most of yourself,  keep fit,  wear clothes that you like,  but nothing too trendy or you look ridiculous.

I don’t believe that bullshit that age is just a number and attitude is everything.

Age comes whether you try to hold it off or not,  it’s going to happen,  so get used to the idea but don’t give up.

I’m quite fit,  I try to eat reasonably healthy,  but I can’t play football the way I used to.  I’m nowhere near as fit or as fast as in my 20s.

You can’t lie to yourself about that.

It happens … accept it ..  deal with it .. and don’t give up .. that’s when the attitude comes in.

Attitude to face the facts of life and get on with it.

But that’s only the mental and physical side.

Let me tell you the real definition of being middle-aged.

Continue reading “Age, Attitude and Acceptance!”

Older Ladies Are Divine ….. @DonnalouStevens

2am and still awake … I had a fantastic day out in Falkirk for the Rod Stewart concert, the man just gets better with age.

As a … Errrrr … Emmmm …. A totally unrelated comparison ….

( tread carefully there Bhoy ). 🙂

I’ve just came across the following song by Donnalou Stevens on youtube .. Absolutely hilarious and I’m sure if you happen to be a lady of a certain age you’ll agree!

Personally I like ladies of a certain age,

No I don’t mean 21 … Or even 31 … Jeez hard work and absolutely nothing in common, a different set of priorities and not looking for the same things .. Eg me!! .. So get real!

Older woman are more confident and capable, Know what they want and are not afraid to say so .. And I don’t just mean sexually .. They have personality, the wisdom of experience, stand on their own two feet and don’t put up with male bullshit.

I like that … So what if you’re not perfect .. Who is?

Anyhoo .. The yoddle in this is absolute genius, how come no one thought of that before!!??

Enjoy! 🙂

Well, I ain’t 16, not a beauty queen.
My eyes are baggin’ and my skin is saggin’
And if that’s the reason that you don’t love me,
Maybe that’s not love.

I ain’t 20 either and I don’t care neither.
My hair is gray and I like it that way.
And if that’s the reason that you don’t love me,
Maybe that’s not love.

If you don’t think I rock, well we ain’t gonna roll.
If you don’t think I hung the moon, my hot just turned to cold.
If you wanna younger model, I wish you well, sweet pea.
Cuz if you can’t see what it is you’ve got,
Then you ain’t getting me.

Online Dating – Age, Attraction and Acceptance?

Do you remember when you were young?

You met a girl .. or a guy .. fancied them like mad, thought about them all the time and couldn’t wait to see them again.

When you did, you were all over each other, it was lust not love, but you didn’t know that then.. it just worked.

Maybe the relationship developed, maybe you married them or someone else .. life was good were young and had your whole life ahead of you.

Then .. time passes ..

Somehow it all went tits up.

Your fault or their fault, it doesn’t matter, you can’t live the rest of your life blaming the other person.

So you move on.

You’re a certain age, maybe you have kids, maybe you don’t and you’re out there looking for another partner.

My experience .. and I’ve never articulated this before so bear with me. Is that if you’re still physically attractive then you are more likely to meet physically attractive partners.

You’ve saw them in the street, good-looking couples, or not so attractive couples, people seem to find their own level and exceptions are fairly rare.

Don’t get me wrong, physical attraction isn’t everything, there has to be more … but it’s one helluva a start and for me, if it’s not there then forget it!

But as you know, attraction is a two-way street!!

Here’s my worry .. and having spoke to various people, online, family, friends, male and female, most of us have it, even if we don’t vocalise it.

The fear of getting OLD.

The fear of getting OLD and if not ugly certainly less attractive to the people that we still find attractive.

I wrote about that fear a while ago after speaking to a female friend of mine who was feeling the weight of her age upon her

Now here is your definition of hell on earth .. getting old and ugly and being surrounded by attractive people but you can’t get any!!

Try walking down your high street today .. rate every single person you see as yes or no .. most of the yeses will be younger than you. We set our attraction age bracket to our own years + a few, so as we get older, then the better looking people are all younger .. This is the reason that so many people online lie about their age.

So what’s the future?

Ultimately, in a relationship, at some point in the future if you are together in your 80s and even if your partner is in their 70s .. physical attraction is largely ( totally!! ) gone.

If you’re lucky, you are with someone that you love for them, for the love they give you, for the shared memories, all the things that you’ve done in your life together.

But what happens between now and then ..

If you think about it, you can’t build shared memories if you aren’t actually together for any length of time, you need to be physically fit and capable to have done things together. Went on holiday, climbed mountains, danced, partied, integrated your family with theirs, maybe had a last minute baby .. that is if you are really really lucky.

As for meeting someone new ..

We all have to be realistic about our expectations, maybe realise that everyone of a certain age has imperfections just like ourselves and stop judging people on that basis.

As I mentioned earlier, there has to be more. Personality, humour, similar outlooks on life, loyalty even financial compatibility.

What I’m realising now is that as we get older, less physically perfect ( as if we ever were!! ) .. then we should stop looking for it in potential partners.

We need to learn to accept people for what and who they are and not for what we want them to be.

We also need to learn to accept ourselves for who we are now, not think of ourselves as who we were when we were 20 years old.

Yeah yeah .. that’s all good in theory .. but I’m still looking for a pretty face, a shapely body, great tits and a sexy ass!! 🙂


A wee forgotten gem from Patti Smith cowritten by Bruce Springsteen – bet you didn’t know that!!