The Way I Was?

I can’t get back to the way I was
No matter how I try
I just need to get used to the way I am
Until the day I die

Whatever happened to my skinny waist?
My arms of bulging muscle?
I used to carry my wife right up the stairs
And it wasn’t any trouble

Now I look in the mirror and sigh each day
At my sagging eyes and hair of grey
And I ask myself what happened to me
But know this is the only way

Sometimes I think back
To the way I was
Of broken hearts and chances lost
And I wonder if it was woth the cost
But its far too late to change

Continue reading “The Way I Was?”

Train Stories – Einstein?


I see him every day .. well every working day for the past 6 months .. on the 8:39 from Cambuslang to Argyll Street.

People really are creatures of habit.

When I get on at the left hand side of the carriage,  he’s always standing guard on the closed right hand doors.

He’s oblivious to the world,  headphones on and staring at his smart phone.

But he’s guarding the doors on that side because he likes to be first off the train at Argyll Street then rushes to the stairs and the ticket barriers before any of the crowd gets there.

If anyone gets in his way he jostles past them,  then rushes out and off up Miller Street.

He never smiles.

Mid-40s,  quite a fit looking guy,  bald on top and shaved at the sides to finish the look.

Better than than being bald on top and a comb over .. right guys?

Ask any women if you are in doubt,  get it shaved,  don’t be a bald top, hairy sides.

I wonder if his baldness is why he never smiles?

Better grey hair than nay hair?

I usually sit on the first bank of seats,   on the aisle as the windows seats are taken.

I’m a creature of habit too.

But what I’ve noticed about this guy is that he wears the same suit every single day.

I mean every single day .. isn”t that just bizarre?

Not even a dress down Friday like today were most of the office punters are wearing jeans.

His suit is showing fair signs of creasage ..  he’s defintely been wearing it all week.

Do you think he is doing that thing Einstein that did?

According to the urban legend,  he bought all his suits to be the same and didn’t wear socks,   so that he didn’t waste valuable brain-power thinking about what to wear and his socks only got holes anyway?

Nah can’t be .. he’s wearing socks .. I wonder if these are the same ones too?

It’s Friday,  thank feck .. meeting the boys after work .. they want to watch the football.

I’m a Celtic fan,  I really couldn’t care less about the Euros.



Train Stories – Double Ds?


Or maybe in this case … Buy the bra! 

When is it wrong to stare at a women’s breasts?

Or should I ask … When is it right?

She is sitting directly in front of me now on the 1707 from Argyll Street.   She’s early 50s, round face, functionally cut, home-dyed hair, size 20. 

She’d probably describe herself as curvy.


From the logo on her tight polo shirt, I can see that she’s works in retail at one of the bottom-end clothing stores. 

I’m trying not to look, but you know that way that you just can’t help but notice somethings, then once you do then you can’t stop staring, or at least stealing a furtive glance asking yourself are those for real? 

I’d guess that she has size Double D breasts, not that large for a woman of her size. 

But what caught my eye is that her bra must be a size C at most and half of her boobs are spilling over the top as the material struggles to hold her in.  

She must have bought this bra many years ago or has recently gained a lot of weight and not updated her underwear drawer. 

Now like every other red-blooded male on this train I like breasts, we are programmed to look and appreciate. 

But somethings are just wrong! 🙂

Blind-Sided – Part 6

Ellen Barkin
Kisses, long and passionate. 

Wet and wild?

No .. I think that you’re taking that a bit too too far!

They’ve only just met for heavens sake!

You know how it goes ..

Boy meets girl
Boy likes girl
Girl likes boy
Girl takes boy home
Boy kisses girl 
Girl kisses boy
Boy tries second base
Girl knocks him back
Boy tries second base
Girl knocks him back
Boy tries second base
Girl doesn’t knock him back

Its the same old story
All love and glory
It’s a pantomime 

Sometimes I wonder why do people play these games instead of just saying straight out what they want?

But would you?

With a stranger?


No I didn’t think so, only the very damaged and the very desperate fall into bed with a stranger without offering any resistance. 

That doesn’t mean people don’t.  

Good decent, honest, hard-working people like you and me. 

They just like to play a little hard to get!  

Come on, you know it!

You’re morality doesn’t let you just jump into bed with someone that you’ve just met, maybe not even on the third date or the fifth .. or .. or now you’re taking that morality a bit too far!  

But you know how it is, sometimes the occasion presents itself and you’re thinking well I like this person and it’s hopefully not a one-off so why not?

Don’t you think one-night-stands are kinda sad?

All that lust and affection with someone you find attractive then never see them again. 

What’s the point in that?

Apart from when you’re kissing a younger, intelligent, gorgeous girl, who’s breast you now have cupped in your hand and you wonder if she can feel your growing erection pressing against her tummy?

But wait … It’s only a bit of tit. 

Just because you’re holding a girls breast, doesn’t mean that you’re going to fuck her .. Right?

Oh wait, there’s the tongue! 🙂

And then the weirdest thing happened … #humour

It’s Friday,  finishing slightly early from work at 430 and I have the bright idea to pop into a barbers near the station in town for a quick trim.

This would save me going down to my local barbers who close at noon on a Saturday and I might struggle as I’m out drinking on Friday night.

I’d passed this place a couple of times and it was always empty,  probably because it’s up a side-street and looks a little dingey.

So I get in and there are two male barbers sitting chatting and no customers.

They look up from their conversation but don’t stand up.

“Can I have a trim please”

“Do you have an appointment?”

“No” but I’m thinking there’s no one here,  why are you asking.

“Sorry but we only deal with appointments”

So I leave thinking .. good business model mate,  turning away work when you have no customers.   No wonder your shop is even dingier than it looks from the outside.

Continue reading “And then the weirdest thing happened … #humour”

Work Stories – Grafters?

I’m working at the headquarters of a bank in Glasgow, I’m a consultant and only here on a temporary basis until their new system is up and running then I’ll go somewhere else.

As you may have read on my previous blog, its already late and over-budget .. am I bothered?! 🙂 

No, my job is to sort it out, plain and simple then I move on. 

Anyway, I’m sitting on a floor of a few hundred people, largely women working in their complaints handling department,. 

Every day there are desks full of cakes, chocolates and other goodies. 

Every day the break-out area is full of these women eating curries and pizza, there’s not a lot of salads or soups on display. 

The vast majority with rare exception are badly overweight, too much carbs, too little exercise. 

There’s one exception …

She’s small, wiry and .. before you think I’m describing some babe .. she’s the cleaner. 

She’s about 60 years old and on the go all day long, cleaning floors, desks, toilets. 

They say that to keep healthy, you should keep moving .. looking at the evidence there’s definitely truth in that.