Me .. Me .. Me!! 

Why is it that people often ( mostly ) speak with an agenda?

Me me me … 

It’s usually how good I am or please feel sorry for me.  

Either position is to gain attention from their viewers. 

Take Facebook for example.  Every time some people go out for a drink they need to post about it. 

Oh look yes we’re having a really good time.  Honest!  

Or if they’ve fell out with their partner its the usual crap about the right person in your life will stay blah blah fucking blah. 

Yep you’ve been dumped or dumped the other person. . Now you’ve got to bleat about it .. Posting messages about karma etc. 

God save me from any sad fucker who constantly puts up pics of their pet. 

Yeah you’ve got a dog / cat / budgie. 

Yes it’s cute. 

But seen that .. Don’t need to see it again or at least not five times a day. 

And worse ..  you’re putting up shit about other people’s pets .. That’s even sadder .. Is your pet not entertaining enough?

One of the saddest things tho is people who constantly post music videos after 10pm. 

You just know that their sitting on their own, probably after a few drinks and a bit lonely and looking for attention. 

A good friend of mine is like that.   Married but him and his wife sit in different rooms. The guy is desperate for a life. But she’s ill and he feels sorry for her and is trapped in circumstances. 

Or maybe he just loves her and that works for them?   

The thing that irked me into writing this was a family member sending out the above pic of two women .. One the  traditional young model, tall slim gorgeous. 

The other, a bigger girl, no less gorgeous … Although if she drops her arms her tummy is going to cascade over her pants like a wobbly waterfall of fat. 

But if that works for you ..

No prizes for guessing what camp my family member falls into!

But that’s not what irked me. 

What did irk me is that it wasn’t enough to say that this bigger girl was gorgeous. 

That’s ok by me. 

It’s the negativity towards the slimmer more traditionally good looking girl. 

And the negativity to men who find slimmer girls more attractive. 

That just stinks.  

It crossed the line from being about heavier girls being attractive to slim girls being unattractive and the men who like them being “dogs”. 

It went from being about boosting herself to bringing down someone else. 

I don’t like that. 

Still here’s the thing ..  we all have opinions.  

Hers is no less valuable than mine, or the cat lover, or the sad fucker, or the attention seeker or the person who’s been dumped wishing karma to take its revenge. 

Opinions .. We’ve all got them. 

Thank heavens we live in a society were we can have an opinion and are free to voice it even if it’s only about cats music pubs holidays etc. 

But wouldn’t it be interesting if we took all that time and energy wasted on our public profiles, looking at cats etc and did something positive with it?

My instinct tells me that while we are looking at a screen all day then we are missing out on what’s going on in the world around us. 

All part of the deliberate dumbing down of society where people live in mediocrity surrounded by the banality of Facebook and are afraid to stand up and say what they are really thinking for fear of being ostracised. 

When in reality many people are already thinking the same thoughts. 

But that’s only my opinion!’

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I Was Trimming My Pubes When … #humour

I love this clip from the Graham Norton show and not just because it has the lovely Alison Moyet singing her hit All Cried Out. 

But the audience story from the red chair which features at the end of the show and 4 minutes into this clip is hilarious. 

Johnny Vegas’s expression is priceless. 

The Lion, the Judge and the Dentist! #humour #perspective

it’s curious how people react isn’t it?

The distinction between being legally right and morally wrong is sometimes blurred,  but as a person you generally know when you are doing wrong and what other people would find unacceptable.

Take this dentist  Walter Palmer who killed Cecil the friendly Lion and gets a deserved roasting ( in my opinion ) after he and his fellow poachers lured the animal outwith its National Park home.

Where’s the crime here?

Apparently the crime isn’t that he killed the lion,  its that they deliberately lured it from its place of safety and then killed it.

Does that make it any less reprehensible?

Should the crime not be wanting to kill such a beautiful creature at all?

What I struggle to believe is why would anyone pay 50 grand to kill a lion?

What kind of rich psycho are you Walter?

Too much money,  not enough morals,  what else does this fucker get up to?

Heres a question .. so Walter shot a lion, what difference would it make if he shot a cow or sheep?

Are we discrimating?   Of course we are.

So if there are lesser animals .. are there lesser people too?   ( whole other story there!! )

On social media,  Walter is being “slaughtered” forcing his dental practice to close.

Which I’m personally delighted about,   a small penalty in my opinion,  some people,  usually arrogant wealthy dicks like him just need a right good kicking to show them how the world works and what is not acceptable to the majority of society.

But that would be legally and morally wrong  .. right?

Compare and contrast with the offences of Lord Sewel,  allegedly caught with hookers and snortng cocaine.

Both legally and morally wrong?

Most people including myself would probably agree

This opens a few questions ..

Continue reading “The Lion, the Judge and the Dentist! #humour #perspective”

Train Stories – Vamp?

They look like grown up school girls.

The bunch of mums sitting on the 8:09 from Coatbridge Sunnyside heading towards
Edinburgh.

They were already aboard when I took the last seat amongst them on the busy train heading east.

The aren’t normally on this train but that may be because the other route to Edinburgh is closed for 6 weeks. 

Or possibly they are heading through for a course for the day as some of the women are wearing name badges adorned with the logo of a particular building society. 

Building Societies? Do you still get them? Coincidentally this one was taken over by the bank I’m working for at the moment.    

There seems to be two groups within the group. 

The first wear navy trousers and multicoloured blouses, small painted dashes of red white and blue almost cover a dark background. 

The second wear dark navy skirts, matching sweaters with red bands at the waist, collar and cuffs. 

The former group, sitting closer, seem the elder, late 40s, mumsie, practical hair-styles, the merest hint of makeup.    

Each of them with yellow gold wedding rings, showing their marriage haslasted as no one buys yellow gold wedding rings these days.

The three women in my 4 seat booth speak incessantly, all at the same time, but somehow the conversations seem to retain their thread and there is lots of laughter dotted with occasional shrieks. 

Not that I’m listening!

The sweaters sitting across the aisle are younger, early to mid 30s, over dyed black or blonde hair, makeup not plastered but heavy enough to be obvious.   

One girl in particular, her scarlet lips are in stark contrast with her pale face, highlighted cheeks and black hair. 

Continue reading “Train Stories – Vamp?”

A Real Barbarella?

Do you remember the opening to that camp old 60’s movie Barbarella featuring the lovely Jane Fonda?

I remember when I was a kid and seeing these opening titles on late-night tv and thinking ..  WOW!!

Then being sent to my bed!  🙂

But check this zero-gravity photo-shoto with the gorgeous Kate Upton to see the real Barbarella!

And the original with Jane Fonda

Work Stories – Species?

So I’m working with this girl ..

Well I’m not .. 

But she is working in the same area as me, 3 banks of desks forward and one bank over.

She’s about 25 years of age, pretty face, long dark hair, 6’4 in her heels, exceptionally tall, shapely, perky boobs in her wonder-bra, and a lovely round bottom, which is accentuated by the fact that she has a very slim waist that exagerates her long undulating curvature.

Are you drooling yet?

Well all us guys in the office are!

Sometimes as she’s walking I notice that I’m not the only guy looking and if she passes, heads turn.

If you’re a girl .. I wonder if you are a little bit jealous?

Today, she’s wearing this bright red clingy dress, verging on backless .. Her golden skin looks flawless from neck to just above her waist.

I immediately reassesed my opinion on her wonder-bra .. Nice!

I just happened to be walking behind her ( honest!) and as we approached my desk, there were a few knowing looks and smiles from the boys .. Thinking that I had deliberately chosen to follow her footsteps.

I hadn’t .. Well okay I’d held the door for her as any gentleman would .. But that was merely coincidence!

Anyway, what’s the point of this story?

I dunno .. I kinda forgot!

Oh yeah, the point was ..

Should there be a ban on extremely good looking girls dressing like that and drawing attention to themselves at work?

It’s clearly having a detrimental effect on production as the guys constantly ogle.

Let me answer that for you.

Don’t be so daft . Let the girl wear what she likes .. Nobody here is complaining!

But just so that we can’t be accused of being sexist …

What if this was one of the guys flashing his body?

Who cares .. I don’t look at guys!  🙂

— 

Anyhoo .. Did you hear about the 90 year old guy who shuffled along to his doctor and says,   

Doctor, doctor, last night I had hot passionate sex with this beautiful 25 year old woman.

The doctor says ..

That’s wonderful .. But why are you telling me?

He says .. I’m telling everybody! 🙂

 —

Yeah I know it’s old but kinda fitted.

Right back to the grind!!