Please Just Fuck Off!

It’s the half night

The half light

I’m wide awake

When I should be sound

 

She’s been texting

Her anxiety increasing

With my lack of response

But I was asleep to be fair

 

She wants me

She misses me

She wants me to fuck her

To do anything I want

 

She asks

Do I miss her?

Do I not love her?

Why don’t I love her?

 

All that angst and anxiety

While I was in the land of nod

Dreaming about nothing at all

And certainly not her

 

All that angst and self torture

Why does she do this to herself?

Why doesn’t she let it go

For her own good

Just let it go

 

She says she loves me

But she’s deluding herself

Holding on to something

That was never really there

 

Text after text

A barrage of emotion

As she tortures herself

Wanting something that isn’t real

 

And I’m thinking

Just fuck off

No really

If I was interested

then I’d contact you

But I’m not

So I don’t

So for your own good

For your own mental health

 

Please just fuck off.

 

 


You know of course that this isn’t real or aimed at anyone in particular, just rambling about a place I might have been at one time.

Thankfully I’ve never been on the other side of that angst and self torture.

Well, I was once, I did write about it here, working it in as part of a story, coming home from a nightshift to find the toilet seat up.

Things went rapidly down the pan from there!

But I was young and inexperienced and too young and inexperienced to know that when we self-torture we only torture ourselves, the other party doesn’t feel a thing except for maybe pity.

Pity? Can you imagine someone pitying you? Like some poor badly treated, underfed puppy that’s beyond saving and needs put out of its misery.

The last thing they are going to do is come back to you. When hey’ve already let go and moved on.

Letting go – It’s a harsh lesson, but we must for our own mental health.

Right, it’s 5am now, so I’ll take my own advice and fuck off! 🙂

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