As I said, I didn’t mean to kill her.
I didn’t know her, there was no malice, I was only defending myself.
Okay, maybe I did defend myself more than I should have, but it wasn’t meant to happen.
She kept hitting me for fucks sake. What was I meant to do?
As I told the other officer, we had only met that night although we had been chatting on the phone for a few weeks.
No sex wasn’t mentioned, not on the phone and it wasn’t even mentioned in the pub, but to be fair, there was some implicit undertones when I asked her if she wanted to come back to mine.
Yes I was surprised when she said yes. Quite taken aback to be honest. We’d had a few kisses and then a bit of a snog, but I didn’t think she’d come back to mine never mind spend the night.
What girl goes back to a guy’s house that she’s just met and not think that sex is on the agenda?
Yes, I know that there still has to be consent, but it was her that asked me to take her to bed.
Yes, she asked me, it’s really not that unbelievable is it? I mean I’m not exactly Brad Pitt but I don’t look like that ginger fucker Ed Sheeran either. Besides, I can be quite funny and charming when I have to.
We were snogging and one thing led to another, before you know it, we are half naked on the couch, having oral sex, or more exactly she was sucking me while I was fingering her and that’s when she wanted to go upstairs.
Yes she said it. I swear and everything was fine at that point.
Well the trouble really started when I was just about to cum.
She was on her back with her legs in the air and I was fucking her hard.
No not that hard, as I said there wasn’t any malice or anger, I was just close to orgasm.
I told her I was coming, because I was and that’s when she did it.
She racked her nails down my back just at the moment of orgasm.
It was fucking agony and quite off-putting to be honest.
I asked her what the fuck she was doing?
She didn’t say anything, that was when she whacked me on the face. That’s when I got the bruise.
Yes it was hard, a punch, not a slap, completely fucking weird if you ask me.
What do you think I fucking did?
I got off her and asked her what the fuck she was doing?
She said it was a sex thing.
I thought, naah that doesn’t work for me, that’s away across my boundaries.
We lay in bed for a while chatting about it, she told me that I must’ve had a sheltered life. That’s just insulting so I told her that I’d call her a cab.
A sheltered life? Me? Not really, but I’m just not into weird games and violence is completely off the cards.
She got up and sat on the side of the bed. We didn’t speak for a few minutes and then she asked me if we could try again.
I said no, I was kinda freaked out at this point. I didn’t want her in my house. Would you want to sleep and have a potentially violent stranger hanging around ?
She was getting dressed and started calling me names. I wasn’t bothered. I got dressed too.
She called me a weirdo, I just laughed.
We went downstairs and I called her a cab. They said it would be a 30 minutes wait. That’s when she started to get more agitated and aggressive.
Just name calling. Calling me a prick, a wanker, all sorts of other shit.
I asked her if she wanted a tea or a coffee.
She had a tea, I did too.
We sat on the couch quietly for a while, that’s when I recorded the conversation on my phone.
I was a bit worried that she might do something strange like try and cry rape or something. I thought she was a nutter and likely to try anything. So I wanted to get it on my phone that we had consensual sex and then things had got weird after she hit me.
You don’t need to tell me what’s on the recording. I haven’t played it back fully. Just enough to know that I’d covered the potential rape claims.
What happened next? For fucks sake, that’s when everything went crazy.
Probably my darkest writing, going to get worse too.