1am and the film About A Boy has just finished on tv.
I love that film, it’s well written thoughtful, humerous and poignant and based on one of Nick Hornsby’s best novels.
As you’re probably aware the film features Hugh Grant as Will the cynical, selfish loner who is fortunate to have an income without working for a living and spends his day wasting time and coming up with schemes to meet single women including pretending he has a son.
Through his scheming including inventing a son so that he can join a group of single parents, Will hooks up with Marcus, the 13 year old son of a depressed and detached hippy mother verging on suicide.
Marcus ( Nicholas Hoult ) having been raised in such circumstances is socially awkward and bullied at school and uses Will as an out from his depressed mother.
You’ve probably seen the film, so I won’t bore you with the detail. The pic above is from one of the final sciences were Will joins Marcus on stage and saves him from social suicidee.
The message of the film is that no man is an island that you can’t function on your own and we all need support from friends and family.
But what surprised me watching for the umpteenth time tonight is that the boy of the title who is being saved isn’t Marcus but Will, who despite being the adult is really just an over-privileged child.
I’m kicking myself for being so slow!
But with Christmas on its way, that no man is an island message seems just a little more poignant.
Christmas can be the most wonderful or depressing time of the year.
Theres nothing like seeing the ads on tv full of people having a great time to highlight your personal lonlieness which is often worse if you’re in an unhappy relationship rather than on your own.
Those ads and their perfect families are fake, Christmas can be a miserable time for lots of people and not because they are lonely, in unhappy relationships or feel pressurised into spending money they can ill afford.
My daughters boyfriend was over for dinner tonight. He’s a police officer and working nightshift on Christmas Eve, Christmas Night and Hogmanay.
He told me a surprising fact that Christmas Day is the most violent day of their year, people full of drink, drugs and family confined with people they possibly rather wouldn’t be with but circumstances force upon them.
Whatever you’re doing, I hope you have a fantastic time and a house full of family and friends.
I will and feel blessed about that, but I’m thinking about a few single friends, maybe they’ll already have plans , maybe they won’t but will be too proud to invite themselves.
I wouldn’t. It would be an admission of lonlieness and people dont like to share their innermost feelings and vulnerabilities.
It’s one thing feeling weak or depressed but another thing showing it and we all wear public faces.
Maybe my single friends would prefer a night in their own, but maybe they’d rather be amongst friends or second hand friends to enjoy the occasion.
It wouldn’t do any harm to ask and find out and let them have a choice.
Maybe you should too. Just ask, open the door and let them in.