Young love, It makes you do crazy things.
Like marry your first girlfriend?
Yes, we were probably married too young, but that doesn’t excuse her behaviour.
She cheated on me obviously.
How long had you been together?
We met aged 18, she wasn’t the first girl I’d kissed but she was the first girl I had sex with.
Why did you get married?
Because we were stupid, full of the joys of youth and madly in lust with each other.
But that’s not a reason to get married so young?
Yes I know, I just couldn’t believe that I’d met a girl as gorgeous as her who wanted to be with me. I didn’t think that I’d meet any one better and after a few months we moved in together then after a year we made it official.
Were you happy?
Actually, I was. But my parents weren’t. My dad had a quiet word with me and said I should be setting up on my own and playing the field for a while before settling down.
Do you think that you should have listened to him?
Obviously, but that’s easy in hindsight, at the time we couldn’t keep our hands off each other.
When did it start to go wrong?
It didn’t, or if it did, I wasn’t aware that it was. That’s the thing, you can’t read other people’s minds, they can be deceitful and you never know until it’s too late.
How did matters come to a head?
Well I’d just qualified and had my first job down south. Even after all those years studying it was the only one I could get. But I new that the experience would open doors for us at home. For “us” what a joke? What a joke, how stupid can one guy be!
How long do you think it was going on?
I was working every second weekend, she must have met the guy one weekend while I was working and she was in town with her friend.
Did she tell you she was seeing someone else?
Are you kidding? Who tells someone that they are having an affair? Not until they have sweated over it and made the decision to leave, which is a very rare occurrence most people who cheat only want a bit of fun on the side not leave their partner.
So how did you find out?
While I was away I used to work form the Monday night straight through for 11 days until the following Friday morning then come home on the train, drink a few beers and then catch a few hours sleep. She’d come home after work and we would have a lazy Friday, hit the town on Saturday and visit family on Sunday and chill out Sunday night then I’d head south on the Monday lunchtime.
Did you come home early and catch them together?
No I wasn’t that lucky. I came home on the train to Glasgow Central and the bus to our flat. After having had a few beers, I was desperate for the loo. So I dropped my cases, ran into the bathroom and automatically reached to lift the seat. But it was already up.
But that could have been anyone else?
Are you kidding, she wakes up in the morning, goes to the loo, with the seat down and leaves. Obviously the guy that was there must’ve have gone for a piss before they left the house and the stupid prick never thought to cover his tracks.
What did you do next? Did you confront her?
No, well not initially, I was feeling numb, uncertain if I was imagining things, I didn’t want to jump to conclusions without any evidence. I stood in the lounge and looked at the surroundings and it was as if I had awakened from a sleep, small things that I wouldn’t normally have noticed seemed different.
Well my chessboard, was sitting on the dining table as usual, but there had been someone playing and a game in progress.
Did she have any friends that played chess? Could that have been explainable?
I asked her later, she said that her brother had been over and was trying to teach her how to play, but I didn’t believe her.
What else did you find?
Well we had a waste-paper bin beside the fireside, which at first glance looked empty. But as I looked away something caught the light and when I lifted the bin to have a closer look there was the cellophane from a cigarette packet.
Did she smoke?
When we first met, she smoked an occasional menthol, but it was just a fad and she gave it up as she knew I couldn’t be with a smoker.
Maybe she had started again?
That’s what she said, that she’d had a few cigarettes, but when I asked to see the packet she didn’t have any.
So apart form the toilet seat, which could have been her brother, it’s all fairly innocent?
Maybe .. but it was enough to make me suspicious, something told me that there was more to this and I had a look around the house for any clues.
Is that not a bit extreme?
No I don’t think it’s extreme at all, obviously I couldn’t sleep as my mind was too active, so I had a look through her drawers,
Did you find anything?
Not there I didn’t, that would have been too obvious, she was obviously a lot more devious than I knew.
So you did find something?
A notebook, tucked away under the bed in the spare room.
Interesting, so what was in it, names, dates and numbers?
No, it was largely empty, a few pages with scribbles here and there, but the page which seemed to have been thumbed most certainly wasn’t empty.
Oh really ..curiouser and curiouser .. what did it have?
Six numbers, six sets of initials, no names or other details. But it was her writing.
Hmmm .. and what do you think they were?
Well it’s obvious isn’t it? She’d obviously been messing around and had met a few guys.
Isn’t that a bit presumptious? Just because she has a few numbers in a book that proves nothing?
Well why would she keep them hidden? Why only initials? She didn’t use initials in the phone-book that was sitting in the lounge and none of the numbers where there.
So you checked?
Of course I fucking checked, what would you have done?
I’m sure that I would have been upset, angry even, but its still not real proof, did you speak to her about it?
Yes and no, I didn’t want to jump in too quickly, my stomach was in a knot and I wasn’t thinking clearly. So I copied the information from the notebook and carefully put it back where it was.
I waited, and thought about, I planned ahead and thought about her answers. When she got home from work, I asked her about the toilet seat, chess board and cigarette wrapper, which she explained, but I wanted to see her reaction.
Did you believe her?
Of course I didn’t believe her, by this time I knew .. I just knew but didn’t have any proof.
Did you contact the people in the notebook?
Not immediately, I didn’t want to show my hand too quickly, but I did contact them.