Train Stories – Contagious. 

As we got on the train together she bumped me for a moment then I held back and let her pass as gentlemen do.

She was just that little bit pushy, her need or urgency to get in and grab a seat seemed greater than mine.

She’s sitting across from me now.

Late 40s, long dark hair, slim, probably a bit too slim.

Yep that’s right, being too slim is a real thing.

Personally I don’t know many guys who like skinny women.

Slim is good as long as there is shape, curves, hips, tits, arse.

But not too curvy, not curves on curves. That’s just excessive fat.

I know this one guy who was married to a skinny girl with a straight up and down boyish figure. 

You know the type, no tits, no hips, no arse.

Nothing to hold or cuddle in to.

Doesn’t work for me.

The weirdest thing was after their divorce that was the kind of women he still went after.

All the girls in the world and he chases the boyish ones.

A bit suspect if you ask me.

Also quite difficult around these parts, where women in their 40s tend to be more on the voluptuous++ than skinny side.

The chic sitting in front of me isn’t skinny.

I expect that in other circumstances she’s actually very pretty and quite a catch.

But not today.

Her nose reminds me of the 15 foot tall Rudolph who has appeared overnight at the corner of Debenhams on Argyll street.

She has a full on cold, her nose red and streaming, her hankies in hand constantly.

The one in hand now is squished and moist, almost mulch, she must be running low on supply.

I didn’t notice the hankies in her hand as she pushed past me, now the thought of my hand being where her snotty hand has been is …

A – making me wince?

B – wanting to go wash my hands?

C – hoping it’s not contagious?

D – pointless worrying about?

I’d go with answer D, these things have a tendency to go round and if it’s for you it won’t go by you.

Although I watched a programme last year about how easily bacteria and viruses are passed on when using public transport.

Too many people in cramped spaces, heating at full, people coughing in the air or passing their bugs on by touching shared surfaces like the poles and handles for holding on.

I take a mental note to self, it’s the time of year to start wearing those little magic gloves that fit in your pocket and then washing my hands after each journey.

But now she’s coughing and I’m sure I’m not the only one hoping that I don’t catch what she has.

But is there really any point in being protective and getting anal about it?

Like the Italian guy I work with who uses paper towels to touch any surface in the loos.

I see his point, but it’s a bit extreme and he looks like a complete dick.

So I probably won’t.

Not because I don’t care, but because I’m a lazy fucker with other things on my mind and by this time tomorrow I’ll have forgotten.

So why worry.

If it’s for you.


I quite like the meme above,   I agree with it,  you fall in love with someone’s personality not their beauty.

But it misses one key point.

To get to know someone to the stage where you fall in love you need to have first met them,  found them attractive and appreciate their beauty.

Love at first sight?

Nah that’s just lust.

Love comes later when you know someone’s faults, failings and imperfections but love them anyway.

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