Finding My Religion …

Our father who art in heaven
Hallowed be thy name
Thy kingdom come
Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven
Give us this day our daily bread
And forgive us our trespasses  …

Standing at the back of the Chapel, for my friends daughters First Holy Communion.

A Catholic mass just seems to last forever!

Stand up, kneel down,  shake hands with the people around you,  go up to receive communion or a blessing,  sit down,  stand up,  sing a hymm and most importantly know the chants to repeat or respond at the right time and heaven help you if you get it wrong.

As a lapsed-Catholic,  I’m playing my part,  trying to join in ..

The problem being that since i last went to mass on any regular basis,  its all changes. .. small things ike “it’s right and fitting” now are “its right and just” and I’m standing there feeling a bit stupid,  with the regular church goers looking at me with disdain,  their eyes saying,  “aye you think yer wan of us,  but your just a proddie in disguise.”

The Lords Prayer as above seemed to be the only thing which hadn’t changed.

I’m a cynical person,  I question things,   back in primary school aged 6,  I remember doing those repetitive catechisms over and over then standing up and saying that i didn’t believe in God anyway,   explaining that if there was a God then there wouldn’t be hunger or war in the world.

So I’m standing there, part of me wondering why am I here?

Part of me thinking I don’t believe this nonsense and part of me thinking why do we instill it in our kids and teach them beliefs that the more cynical eye would reject as from a bygone era when shepherds were frightened and needed something to believe in.   Or back in the Medieval Ages when kings and charges used the fear of God and the threat of eternal damnation or fire and brimstone to control the populace.

All that “Lamb of God” patter .. sorry but I just don’t get it.

Can’t they at least try and bring that up to date?

But I’m there my friend,  and his family,  they’ve suffered a recent bereavement with the loss of a daughter and I’m there for him if needed,  no doubts,  always will be.

Heres the thing I like about church and it doesn’t really matter which church you go to .. but it gives a sense of community,  of having like-minded people around you,  or a focus to have friends around to support you in the bad times or to share the good times.

I like that a lot.  Part of me even considering going back to my local parish.

But I’d need to wear an anti-lighting,  protective suit jus in case my presence pisses of the Big Man.

It was a lovely day,  made some new friends,  everyone humbled by the recent happenings,  lending support.

I was pleased to be there for my pal when needed,  isn’t that what life is al about,  what friends are for?

If having a church service is a reason to sit round and lend support in difficult times then that can only be a good thing.


Now it’s 2am,  tired but wide awake,  knowing I should be asleep  but my wee mind too active for that.

ps – for the record,  I didn’t do religion when bringing up my kids,,  they can make their own minds up.


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