Do you know what I used to love about playing football?
Apart from scoring the occasional goal obviously!
The physicality of it.
Me and some other guys, deliberately pushing at each other, knowing the other guy is pushing back, exerting our will and physical strength in as basic a form as possible without doing any physical harm then having a beer and a laugh about it later.
It’s always good to win, but even if you lose then I tend to focus on the positive parts, beating a guy making a pass, scoring a goal, saving a goal, making a tackle, blocking a goal.
Love it .. and miss it since I did my ankle in a couple of years ago.
What I’m getting at is I love a wee bit of physicality now and then ..
Have you ever had some guy walking into you deliberately?
You know the type .. you’re walking towards each other on a narrow pavement, you make eye contact, then silent negotiating whether you should move left or right? It’s all about compromise.
Mostly you both go your own way and smile a little acknowledgement
Sometimes, the negotiation fails and you do that little dance thing face to face at the last moment .. then pass with a smile at the stupidity of it.
But sometimes, there is no negotiation, as you get closer he doesn’t move .. he sticks to his chosen path and will walk straight through you as if you weren’t there.
In his head, he’s decided that he’s somehow above you, that you pose no threat, that you will back down to his superior .. errr … what?
Normally, I don’t play those games, I take evasive action, it’s just not that important ..
But sometimes, just because at that point of silent negotiation, the guy looks like an arrogant dick, I drop the shoulder, tense the muscles and skeletal system, make sure your opposite foot is anchored and if he chooses to do the bump he’s going to feel it more than me.
This usual grabs their attention, they had made some sort of presumption that you’d move but it hasn’t worked out the way they had planned.
That can go one of two ways.
Either the guy is a poser and all although his face might be upset, he’s not going to do anything.
Or the guy fancies his chances .. and he says something until you turn and he backs down.
You see the thing is, guys with any substance about them, don’t need to walk into other people.
This only happens with obnoxious arrogant pricks who have some high opinion of themselves.
Real men aren’t pushy, they don’t have to be, but they will not be pushed.
At Haymarket last night, the platform was busy, when the train heading back towards Glasgow showed up, the doors of the carriage just happened to be directly in front of me.
I stepped forward with the crowd, front and centre, noticing the two elderly ladies to my right who had been waiting just as long as I had.
The train was already busy from Waverley, so I stood aside to let them board and give them a better chance of grabbing a seat.
Then it happened, the dickhead with the laptop tries to push his way past despite there clearly not being enough room to squeeze past and get on the train while the ladies are boarding.
I’d felt his approach, the presence behind me, but why try and push past when there’s no room?
As he pushed, I tensed, can’t help it, I’m a contrary bastard sometimes, don’t push me cos I’ll push back.
So he’s stuck behind me but he’s still pushing, but not getting anywhere.
The ladies are on-board and I shrug him off and turn to greet him “Are you in a hurry mate?”
He momentarily stares at me, but says nothing and I let him past with a smile on my face.
When I take my seat he’s seated across from me still glaring.
For a moment our eyes meet, I smile at him and he looks away, pulling out his iPhone and playing his game.
I pull out mine and type a few notes, then call home.
I wonder how he would tell the same story .. tried to get on the train, this bloke pushed me, so I pushed him back, then I got past him and he sat staring at me .. dickhead!
It’s all about perception really, but there’s no need for rudeness and pushing only pushes away.
Anyways it’s Friday, no train stories for a week as I’m off to Lanzarote for a bit of winter sunshine.
Really looking forward to having dinner cooked in a volcano.