Someone asked me what I do ..
I almost gave my usual reply, that I work in IT .. mind-numbing boring IT ..
But I caught myself short.
I work in IT for a living, but it’s not what I do.
What I do is write.
This thing that started as a few paragraphs for fun has grabbed a hold of me.
It allows me to express my thoughts and creativity like nothing else I’ve ever done.
Once upon a time in what seems like another lifetime, I worked as an engineer and a draughtsman in the shipyards, I was a draughtsman, design engineer in the power industry designing parts of power stations.
It was creative but not very stimulating.
Now by some weird combination of education and experience, I design and support systems for a bank, looking after other people’s money or largely institutional investments and trades but let’s not go there.
It is DULL .. exceptionally dull, how anyone can have a career in banking defeats me.
The old analogy says that if you want to be a better chess player .. play with better chess players.
This is it in reverse .. if you want to be really dull .. hang around with dull boring people!!
I really really need to get out of here!!
The opiate, that I dare say keeps most of these ordinary people here is that it pays well, that it affords another life of holidays, concerts, music, frivolous expenditure on having a good time.
Or is that just me?
But there’s hope .. I’m a contractor, I work for me .. not for them.
My allegiance is not to the corporate bullsh1t that is spouted every day in never ending emails telling us all how well we are doing, that the bank is doing well in difficult times and it’s most valuable asset is its employees.
Do they really think people fall for that bull?
Earlier this year, they announced large scale redundancies while the top executives got a increased bonus.
Very Orwellian, don’t you think?
As I said, I work for me .. not them .. so I do what I do and I go home and don’t think about it.
But that doesn’t mean that while I’m here for 8 hours I’m not bored witless, cos I am!!
To break through that mind numbing pain of looking at issues which other people find important, I find myself escaping into my PC, pretending that I’m working and living in my other world. I’m doing it now, plugged into outlook, letting my mind wander free, emptying the words on the screen in front of me without an edit, just let it flow.
But I don’t have to be in front of my PC, I find myself sometimes, experiencing some aspect of life and wondering how I’ll fit it into my blog.
Is it something for a part of a story or is it a simple diary entry?
I find myself, sitting on the train, or in a boring meeting thinking about some aspect of the story I’m working and thinking how can I make this part work or tie a couple of things together, keeping the thread intact and heading towards the end-point.
Something that I’ve learned, which I should have known already from my days in Engineering, is that planning is important, you have to set a goal, have an outline plot and fill the details in later.
The same thing should apply in most aspect of life, but it doesn’t always work like that, particularly when other people are involved.
But we live and we learn, or we should, as Einstein once said, only a fool keeps making the same mistake and expecting a different outcome.
I enjoy reading thrillers, whether it’s John Grisham, Mark Bellingham, Ian Rankin, James Patterson or Chris Brookmyre.
Do you know what they all have in common?
The good guy always wins.
The main character, John Rebus, Tom Thorne, Jack Parlabane or whoever always wins.
I guess they have to; it lets the author retain the rapport built with the character to his next novel.
It keeps the cheques coming in!
But why should the good guy always win?
Life isn’t like that.
There is in me a dark thriller, a trilogy, Good vs Evil, a cop versus a villain, but which one is which.
I’ve mentioned previously of liking the anti-hero, the good guy who does bad things or the bad guy who does good.
In this outline, there’s a number of heinous murders, heinous, disturbing, with little clue as to who committed the crimes.
The villain is a bad guy, he’s known for his violent behaviour, but has never been caught or more accurately convicted.
The cop is the traditional maverick, tough, good-humoured, not afraid to bend a rule where necessary.
The bad guy has alibis for some of the crimes, but the provider isn’t reliable.
Gradually over time, it becomes apparent that the bad guy did the murders despite his protestations of innocence.
Book 1 ends with the villain being sentenced, the cop being congratulated on a job well done.
Book 2 is largely the villain guy continuing to claim innocence and there being doubt on his conviction is released.
Book 3 more murders ensue is it the villain after being released or is there someone else.
It’s a battle of wits and dirty tricks as the body count increases.
Who would you want to win?