In Love, In Fear, In Hate, In Tears!

Friday … again …

It’s been a funny few weeks, but I’ve said that already!! 🙂

You know its great to have friends ..

Real long term friends who let you down when you need them or can be a real pain in the ass, but we have history and they will still be friends this time next year.

Medium term friends and new friends who barely know me but I like them and they enjoy my gibbering.

And some friends that I’ve only ever met online. Some of whom have got to know me better through this blog and letting my thoughts run free.

I’ve had some of my deepest most personal conversations with people that I haven’t actually met, why is that?

Is it the anonymity?

The willingness to open you heart and doing so allows them to open theirs too?

I dare say its a combination of both of the above.

I also think it’s that I don’t want anything from anyone apart from honest conversation and the possibility of getting to know them better.

Thats the thing about being online, you meet all sorts of people, some are interested in you, some are not, some people are interesting to you and some are not .. sometimes you think they are but they drift off or somehow the connection gets lost along the way.

Thems the breaks in the big bad online arena.

But would I change it, hell no!

To those friends that I’ve spoke to over the past few weeks, those that I’ve shared my wee traumas with, that have listened to my woes … and vice versa … or I’ve shown off my new house and made them tea or dinner, I thank you.

No seriously, I do thank you.

I’ve listened to your woes and gave you my honest advice, nothing expected in return.

But you’ve listened to mine too and its appreciated.

I definitely feel back n the way to my old self, but thats not without some sort of humility and gratitude.

Tonight .. meeting my mate Stephen, you know the one, you’ve heard me moan about him .. a curry and a beer at 9:30 in Shawlands .. ironically my so-called best mate has been in the least contact with me over the past few weeks and been a total let-down.

You know he plays the “I’ve got twins card” far too often .. even although the twins were 2 last week.

He is a total drama queen, you’d think he and his missus were the only two people to ever have kids .. I knew he had no balls when he went along with singing lessons for babies when the girls were only 6 months at the time .. woose!!

Singing lessons for babies .. are you having a laugh?

Can you imagine the scene, all these gullible earth-mothers thinking that they are helping their kids develpment and creativity while some hippy-chick tells them how wonderful their kids are and pockets their dosh … suckers!!

When he contacted me about going out tonight I was tempted to tell him to fuck off and who needs friends like you that are not there when you actually do need friends around .. but that wouldn’t be good.

So I’ll wait until I see him face to face and try to be as constructive as possible. But somethings need to be said.

Do I want to fall out with him, not really, But I am going to tell him how I’ve felt let down at what was a pretty troubled time.

Yeah yeah .. its a bromance I hear you say .. you know it!! 🙂

Get the beers in and shut up!! 🙂

A wee song for today .. Sit Down by James .. I was right there at the front when he sang this standing up in front of the audience earlier this year .. but thats not my singing!!

Those who fear the breathe of sadness ..
Those who find their touched by madness ..
Those who find themselves ridiculous ..

In love, in fear, in hate, in tears ….. sit down next to me!

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