In Another Room ..

It’s been a funny couple of days.

Tuesday was the 3 year anniversary of my mum passing away.

Mum or Patsy as my dad called her had a long battle with Diverticulitis, a disease affecting the large intestine and complicated because of her Angina which prevented them from operating as her heart was too weak.

As a result she wasn’t ingesting food properly, part of her intestine basically died and she faded away over the 5 years, spending the last 6 months in the Glasgow Southern General Hospital and passing away at 9am with my dad, her sisters my brothers and myself arround her.

That was undoubtedly the longest night of my life as her breathing became shallower and shallower until she finally stopped.

There was a lot of love in the room, but mixed emotions from the relief that she was no longer in pain and the guilt for feeling the relief.

Mum had chosen a Humanist service and the celebration of her life took place in a packed out crematorium, where my 4 brothers, my son and myself carried her in. It was standing room only as she had been very popular at work and in the community at large and a member of various Bowling clubs etc.

As I stood at the podium and gave the tribute from the family, I looked around the room then over towards my dad who was smiling proudly.

A day never to be forgotten.

Can I tell you something .. and forgive me for this .. but if you know me at all, then you’ll know I’m very practical and pragmatic and don’t really do religioon or any type of mumbo-jumbo .. what most people thing is spooky is generally conincidence etc and I have a healthy cynicism to all that crap.

But …

I still chat to muy mum now and again,

I’m the eldest of my brothers and I was very close to her.

She once came to me in a dream, it was about 6 weeks after she had passed, and although I was sleeping it felt as if I was wide awake.

In the dream, I was speaking with her, but I couldn’t see her, she told me that she was in another room and that she would always be able to hear me, but she couldn’t always answer.

I like that, it was very calming and I fell asleep peacefully with no sadness.

The strange thing is when I told my Aunt Maureen, my mums sister and closest friend about it, she told me that she’d had the exact same dream.

And I swear on my children that this is true.

Yesterday, dad was in for a minor procedure, he’s getting old, he’s still as sharp as he ever was, but he seems to be getting smaller.

His time will come eventually, as it will for us all, so its important to live it while you are here.

I’m sitting at my desk at work writing this, a few tears in my eyes. but not feeling morose or morbid in the slightest.

Anyhooo ….

I had woke up this morning with a song in my head .. and the following lyrics on repeat.

How Long to Sing this song
How Long to Sing this song

I thought, where did that come from, I know that, but I couldn’t place it.

Do you ever get that?

I was singing it to myself on the train and at work and have only just realised what it is.

Its “40” from the U2 album Under A Blood Red Sky., an amazing album and set the band on the path to global fame.

Would you believe that it came out in 1983 .. where did that 30 years go?

The song is like a Hymm, have read at the lyrcs .. its quite uplifting.

The video with the crowd singing is like a religous experience.

Not that I’m particularly religous, I belong to the church of life and humanity.

I will sing, sing a new song
I will sing, sing a new song

3 thoughts on “In Another Room ..

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