Online dating .. God do I struggle with it!
Actually it shouldn’t be called Online Dating at all ..
It should be called Online Chatting ..
The first problem is that it is extremely addictive, particularly if like me, you are on your own of an evening and miss adult company and conversation.
So you sit there for far too long, chatting to this person or that person. Not getting a reply from a girl you like, or being overloaded with contacts from people who are nice enough but you’d never really want to meet.
That’s one of the reason that I struggle .. being rude to people .. It’s not my style.
I know how it feels when you see the girl of your dreams and she’s not interested .. it is really quite disheartening.
So why be rude to another soul who possibly views you as the man of their dreams?
Okay, “man of your dreams” is a bit much .. let’s have a reality check here .. but you know what I mean.
The fact remains that making the right kind of contact is difficult.
All I really want is to meet someone interesting and attractive that feels the same about me.
How hard can it be?
Is it really that difficult to meet someone you like and she likes you?
Of course .. thats just the start of it .. you might like each others profiles, your online pics. The image that you project to the online world .. but thats a facade really.
It should be accurate of course, but how much of it is actually true?
Straight up is 100% genuine .. mostly .. its what I want to tell .. a flavour of me, my background and what I do for fun.
Now that just has to be really dull doesn’t it??!! 🙂
There won’t be many laughs in there at all!
But back to the dating .. things progress .. even a broken clock has the right time twice per day.
You get chatting to this girl, she seems interesting and she looks attractive in her pics.
All good so far!
You exchange email addresses or mobiles .. Progress ..Fab!!
You chat via email .. its much easier than being online .. particularly for me at work.
You have a couple of calls .. you get on great .. a few laughs and stories about life.
All good so far .. so you make arrangements to meet for a coffee or a drink.
Yaay .. getting exciting now!
My advice .. Never go for a meal .. imagine being with someone for a few hours that made your skin creep .. Just don’t do it!
The big day arrives and on the evening of the meet .. you have a clothes crisis .. so does she .. its about getting the balance right .. looking good for the evening but not being too full on.
For guys this is easy .. Jeans .. and for Gods sake clean and a modern style .. boots .. and a smart casual shirt .. not too casual and not garish and never short sleeved.
For girls .. don’t panic .. wear jeans and casual top .. It’s a drink .. not dinner .. if that happens wear a dress.
Then you meet ..
That’s were it can go all go wrong ..
She is nothing like her pics .. you were worried about that and sure enough .. your instincts proved to be right again.
Or maybe she has some physical attributes that you don’t like ..
( I’ll omit my personal thoughts on this … I don’t want to offend anyone )
Of course thats a 2 way street, maybe she doesn’t fancy me .. as if .. my mum would say.
But it happens!
Of course it happens.
If either of the above is the case, then no matter what happens, its game over.
You can’t make it work if there is no physical attraction .. It just can’t happen.
But let’s assume that there is …
So you sit and chat and laugh .. well hopefully you chat and laugh.
Personally, I can’t imagine not having a laugh and enjoying the chat, but I have heard a few stories about people who can’t actually hold a conversation never mind need a sense of humour transplant.
All good so far?
Are you still with me?
What happens next?
A number rof possible outcomes ..
Maybe she dwells on her ex .. We all have ex’s but we need to keep it in perspective . move on!!
Maybe she tells you something funny but horrible and unpassable ..
For example .. The reason that she is sitting on her coat is because of her recent operation on her piles.
Or that she had met her last boyfriend who told her that his genital warts were much better now.
How do you recover from that?
But lets say that date went well, you walk her to her car and have a peck on the cheek .. pleasant and not full on.
You text each other .. “I enjoyed meeting you, lets do it again” type of texts.
So you arramge a second date .. nothing fancy .. a drink at a nice bar in town.
You’re looking forward to it .. But the day of the date comes .. and she calls of saying that she doesn’t think there is enough attraction.
What is that all about!!?
Did you suddenly get battered with the ugly-stick overnight?
Is it because she needs reassurance and you didn’t go all over the top of her and overload her with stupid texts and one–liners and she needs to feel wanted .. even although you didn’t know each other this time last week?
Is it because at the weekend you were doing something else because you have a real life?
Is it because while you were busy, she was on another date?
Who knows .. I honestly do not have a clue .. And it doesn’t really make any difference.
What I do know ..
Is that it’s important to have a real life too.
Just had a thought .. I’ll probably add a modified version of this in as an introductory chapter to my dating story ,, before they meet.