Yesterday I mentioned about the girl I meet, the lovely Margaret, lovely but most likely unavailable .. c’est la vie!
This is a sequel .. part 2 .. just when you thought it was safe to go back into the kitchen!
My office is on a floor of a few hundred people. it has a very small kitchen, eventually you meet everyone, chat away, pass the time of day until the kettle boils or the microwave pings.
There is another girl I meet .. well not a girl .. Margaret is a girl .. a girlie girl .. professional, but feminine. Feminine works for me.
This other girl is a Wummin ( Thats Glaswegian for woman ) .. a big
boned, big shouldered, I wouldn’t go home to her with a short pay-packet type of growler.
You got the picture?
Anyway, thinking about Margaret yesterday and our kitchen
conversations, some penny dropped somewhere and it dawned on me that I often have these other kitchen conversations with Shona.
Now Shona, is into sports, she swims every morning, 50 lengths apparently, which is very impressive. She also does weights and goes running.
She’s always telling me about her personal bests, which ligament
she’s pulled or what kind of physiotherapy she is getting ..etc etc.
I hate to confess, but after hearing the same stuff for a few months, I’m only half listening .. I did at first out of politeness, but now its every time I’m in the kitchen and its well, frankly quite boring.
But it dawned on me, while I was rereading the blog about Margaret
yesterday, that Shona just always seems to come into the kitchen when
I’m there and strikes about a conversation about her latest
achievements or personal woes.
And it clicked … Dear God, please don’t tell me that Shona fancies me!!
Just kidding .. its probably purely conincidence .. probably!
No harm to her, but when you’re not interested, you just aren’t .. it just doesn’t work and never will. Thats a hard lesson but part of life.
The other interesting thing about the conversations I have with these 2 ladies, who are both nice enough people in their own rights, whether physically attractive or not.
Is that one is a radiator and even if there was no romance she would be fun to be with and the other is a drain and after each occasion that we speak I feel the energy zapped from me.
Do you have friends or associates like that?
I used to have, well I still do, in particular, a good pal from a long time ago, but over recent years, every time that we went out he was so negative about even the small things in life that personally I would have shrugged off, but he had to make a big deal of … and it wears you down.
We’re all allowed to have low-times, life throws the occasional curve ball and feck knows that I’ve been guilty of a few ups and downs when my hearts been breaking.
But this guy is married to the same partner for life, in some ways he’s happy, but he is so miserable about his lot, constantly whinges about it but never changes anything.
Get it off your chest .. thats fine .. but do something about it .. please!!
Now if I’m meeting my best best mate Stephen for a drink, he doesn’t tell me that our drain-friend is coming along, because he knows I’ll make excuses. He says that the only way that he can deal with the drain is to share the load.
I can understand that but why stick with people who drain you constantly and provide nothing positive in your life?
Do you ever get that, that you like someone, but they drain you?
I’ve had it in relationship context, it just tires you out, even if you like the person, it wears you down until eventually you wonder why you do it.
With hindsight, you are better off out of it and sooner rather than later.
Hopefully you learn the lesson for the next time.