Dilemma – There’s A Girl I Meet …..

Dilemma …

I work in this large office, a huge corporate faceless place in the centre of town.

Its a dull dull job, but pays well and I’m only here for the money.

I’m a “consultant” ( yawn) .. it means nothing .. I’ve only been here 5 months and have another month left on my contract and can’t get away fast enough.

But that’s not what this story is about ..

It’s about Margaret. ..

The lovely Margaret, classy, good looking, not beautiful in a conventional sense but beautiful to me.

On the day I started I spotted her, this gorgeous looking woman, tall but not too tall, shapely but not heavy, she has a beaming smile and pretty eyes with a kindness in them.

Of course, I didn’t know her at all back then, so that beauty was only skin deep, but that changes.

She looks like the right age group for me, a few years younger without being too young.

The first time that I set eyes on her, I thought … Wow!! … and left it that.

Okay, so she’s not Miss World, but Miss World wouldn’t be interested in me anyway.

I don’t have any business related dealings with her, I have no need to speak to her on any basis. No opportunity to get to know her.

But over the few months, we’ve bumped into each other at the small kitchen, making tea, chatting about the weather. One day she had missed lunch and was telling me how hungry she was. I had a spare pasta dish In the fridge .. it was an M&S 2 for 1 deal .. no big thing .. but it opened the door a little more.

Anyways, we would then have the very very occasional chat. usually in the kitchen and I wouldn’t think of going over to her desk.

She’s told me that she’s divorced and has 3 kids all girls ( 12-19) I’ve told her that I’m divorced and my girl (15) lives with me .. we’ve shared stories about their moods and about being a taxi service.

I’ve no idea if she has a man in her life or even wants one.

But now as I walk up the corridor and pass her desk, I always find myself turning my head to look at her, then fighting with myself to try not to and then keeping my head straight but sneaking a glance from the corner of my eye.

The last thing I’d want to do is stare … cringe!!

Sometimes she has looked up at me and when I’ve turned my head towards her she’s gave me a smile, I smile back, occasionally blush and walk back to my desk with a wee glow inside.

Daft? … Yes!

Teenage? .. Definitely!

Hopeless? .. Abso-feckin-lootly!!

I want to know more about her and would love to ask her out for a drink or dinner .. but I’m suffering the fear of rejection and particularly as its in a office scenario .. cringe again!

This must be the kind of dilemma that guys face the world over?

Fancying this girl, enjoying those little bits of getting to know you chats, and wanting to know more, but not wanting to cross any lines.

I’ve thought of sending her flowers, tasteful, but with an anonymous email, so we can have some contact to see if she is available, but that might freak her out as it would be one-sided.

Most importantly, the last thing I would like to do is cause Margaret any embarrassment at all .. just not my style, I’d rather admire from afar than that.

What is a guy to do?

What approach would work?

Should I leave the girl alone .. possibly wait and see if anything develops naturally?

What do you think?

Aaaah ….

But that changed last night, by sheer chance we left the office at exactly the same time. She’s looking great, dressed for winter, a nice little burgundy fitted dress, black tights and boots, pulling her blonde hair from the back of her coat. She’s all smiles as we go down in the lift talking safe shite cos there is some other person there. I’m thinking, maybe now is my moment, maybe its the time to take a deep breath and ask if she fancies a coffee. We are walking outside, past security and there he is waiting for her.

Shame!! 🙂

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10 thoughts on “Dilemma – There’s A Girl I Meet …..

  1. Great post! Listen hun, you have nothing to lose… ask her if she would like to join you for a coffee, this way it is very casual socially relaxedand you can ease on to the subject of whether she is with anyone or not without giving much away! Don’t let it pass you by, it seems she may be interested in you too and you have def scored brownie points with your kind sharing of your food… very smooth! Try not to over- think it all too much, you remind me of one of my best friend, male friend… The way yoyu think! Don’t worry so much…We only live once and a casual coffee is not anything more then a friendly approach. It is so cute when you are in this fancying stage… if we all worried about the first move, we would never get anywhere would we! Go for it! Let me know how it goes and if you need anymore advice, come back to me! best of luck! = ]

    1. Thanks so much.

      I’m smiling here.. I like that I can still feel like a teenager.

      Thanks for the advice. You’re probably right about the casual coffee.

      I will let you know if anything happens.

      Mx

      1. Aww that is great… I am glad to be of help! Don’t fear rejection as you have nothing to be rejected for… I see no reason why she would say no to a coffee… This way you find out what you need to as to what your next step will be! Not teenager-ish… We are just people at the end of the day! All the best! X

  2. M, maybe this is your special girl.. maybe not. But you’ll never know if you never ask. So my advice, as a friend, is don’t be so coy and go for it. But ask her if she’d like to go for a drink after work some time not for coffee; make it clear you’re asking her out on a date and not just being friendly. Ok she might say no but rejection doesn’t hurt when we don’t know someone, just our pride. And does that really matter? Either way, I’m sure she’ll be flattered. Good luck! Let me know how you get on. Px

    1. Hi P,

      Thanks but its just a daydream at my desk.

      Lovely girl, but I’m self employed here and got to keep that in mind.

      But also, she was meeting her boyfriend after work so she’s unavailable.

      I will just have to keep wishing

      Mx

  3. Lol great post man. You sound like me a few years back.

    First off, I would have to agree with @brandlass on this one. Coffee and such will send mixed signals. It’s too normal. It can easily send the message that you want to be her bff, which you do not. Trust me. Don’t put yourself in the friend zone before you even get to see what she’s about.

    Second, the fear of rejection thing… get rid of it. I’ve found that over the years (and I’m only 26 but I have dealt with a great deal of women both intimately and as friends in that time) the fear of rejection is far, and I mean far!, worse than the actual thing. She seems like a cool person. If she does turn you down, then she probably won’t be a bitch about it. A mere thank you but… blah blah blah is likely the most you will get so don’t get your heart racing too much.

    When you choose to approach her make it brief and direct. Leave her on her toes and don’t come off shy. Be assertive, know what you want, be sure of yourself. Don’t fumble. Women may find that “cute” but oftentimes they see it as weakness. Women love men with confidence. If you don’t have it, fake it until you make it, my friend. It’s not deception, so don’t think that. You just want to show her that you’re serious in the move you are making and not just some bird fresh off the limb using his wings for his first time.

    Drinks may be a good thing but depending on how she is you always need a backup plan. What if she doesn’t drink? What if she’s one of those who think that you want to get them drunk to have your way (cough, prudes)? Then you’re stuck there with your mouth open trying to figure out what to do.

    Take a walk along a place with a nice view. If she has any feelings towards you like you have for her, it’ll hint. She likely won’t make it obvious, but you have to read the signs. Women love that romantic stuff. She’ll be triggered without even thinking about it. She’ll begin to question her feelings and actions and question your motives, in a good way (hopefully).

    MOST IMPORTANTLY: KISS

    Keep
    It
    Simple,
    Stupid.

    I’m not calling you stupid, it’s just something I have used in the past. You’re both human, so don’t spend time building up the situation in your mind to something that it may not be. Live in the moment and enjoy whatever it is that you are doing but stay in that moment. It helps you to relax since you’re having a good time.

    Sorry for the blog post reply to your post but I wasn’t sure how deep you were in the rabbit hole so I figured I would just put it all out there.

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