It’s late-o’-clock and I’ve been awake for a few hours now and no sign of falling asleep 😦
I can hear the traffic on the road starting to get a bit heavier .. night shift and early shift workers. Never a good sign.
Funny, that sound just carries its own meaning now. Years gone by (many, many years) I would associate it with … Oh No – I’ve stayed up too late and dancing til 3!
Not that much later there were the nights when Alison was pregnant, wandering about during the night, crunching through boxes of rice crispies and eating cake, when she couldn’t sleep because the baby was kicking too much or she just couldn’t get comfy in bed.
Of course she would wake me to tell me that she need more rice crispies .. and again the traffic was there.
Three kids later, still a while ago, I’d hear those familiar sounds when I was up doing the overnight feeds for my babies.
Up to about 3 Years ago it was the noise I heard when I was getting ready to catch the red eye for work.
A bit later, I was one of those cars going back and forth to the hospital. Then awake nursing my mum.
The sound has a totally different meaning now. Usually it’s because I’m restless, unsettled. Sometimes because I’m sad. Not always an obvious reason for it though.
Just now, the sound just reminds me that I’m alone.
Been lying hear wondering what the future holds. Like me, I’m sure there have been times in your past when the future seemed great and certain.
Maybe for you that wasn’t really all that long ago.
Your dreams were pretty stable and achievable.
But then life is not always that kind. Things change. Those dreams are taken away. Maybe not wholly removed but altered.
But life goes on …
We deal with the cards that life has dealt us.
You have to work harder to build on those slightly amended dreams and make new ones.
That’s probably what makes us humans survivors. We keep dreaming and keep fighting for those dreams. We flex. We adapt.
I hope I haven’t depressed you with my ramblings.
They’re actually all about hope and building futures. Thats got to be a good thing hasn’t it?
You have to appreciate where you are to know where you want to be.
ps – After I wrote this on my phone in the darkness .. I slept like a log and was late for work!!